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Old Oct 29th, 2015, 10:41 AM   11
missk1989
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverbell View Post
Never, ever lie or avoid mentioning something during the process. The truth often comes out and it will be far worse if your Social Worker sees you as somebody who lies. They need to know you're being completely honest from the start.
Thanks for your reply. I don't know how to bring these things up though or how it would even drift into conversation. If it simply didnt crop up is that the same as avoiding it?

DH has already decided we should not mention it - if they asked we obviously wouldn't lie but I don't know...



 
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Old Oct 29th, 2015, 16:58 PM   12
helloeveryone
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Totally agree with silverbell, always tell the truth.



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Old Oct 30th, 2015, 14:51 PM   13
missk1989
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Oh buggar! DH just had a text to say that a friend had received their form to be a reference which means all our references have....2 of those are parents and we have not told them yet!

I am trying to get hold of my mum to see if I can talk to her before she gets the post but she probably has it already...This is not how I wanted them to find out



 
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Old Oct 31st, 2015, 07:38 AM   14
missk1989
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Well...they seem okay with the whole thing. My parents have always been supportive when the family mentioned above adopted/fostered and my mum just told me my dad was a reference when my Aunt applied to foster her Grandchild. I am going to see them next week (and DH) to talk it all through with them just to make it easier to answer the questions they have been given. I am glad they know even if it wasn't the best way to do it. Now I have to go to my MIL and talk it through with her once DH has gotten over his hangover.



 
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Old Oct 31st, 2015, 20:19 PM   15
Axl2
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I would mention it to your social worker. They are not going to judge you based on what your family has done. That's good that everyone is being supportive! I had a discussion with my parents, my MIL is our reference so we asked her first and our 2 friends.



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Old Nov 7th, 2015, 18:52 PM   16
petitpas
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I think it could be seen as an advantage to have such a family background as you are not going in with rose tinted glasses. Be honest and spin it as a good thing that you are aware of possible problems and where children in care can come from.

Good luck with everything!



 
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