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Old Feb 6th, 2016, 23:10 PM   11
Axl2
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Are you guys going through the private agency or government?



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Old Feb 7th, 2016, 02:57 AM   12
missk1989
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Government for us. The private agencies charge the local authorities 28,000 for every child they place for them. I would rather go straight to local authority and the money go to the children.



 
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Old Feb 7th, 2016, 17:07 PM   13
Axl2
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Wow that crazy and I thought $15k was a lot. We are going through the private agency. We looked into the government adoption but they wanted us to pick to many things which to me we couldn't handle considering my husband is gone a lot. And I think there is long wait too. Good luck!!



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Old Feb 10th, 2016, 12:20 PM   14
Savasanna
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We're fostering through the state with the hope of adopting. We'd like to begin our journey when the child is young so we have to foster first. Most children who are ready for adoption are older because they've already gone through a failed reunification process and the termination of their parents' parental rights, which can take 3-5 years. By being a foster parent we can be placed with an infant/young child and then continue with them through their journey. The difficult side is that we will have placements that will reunify with their birth families, as happened with our twins after 11 months together. We're in between placements right now. Just sitting around waiting for a phone call.



 
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Old Feb 10th, 2016, 15:33 PM   15
missk1989
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Foster to adopt is fairly new in the UK. We refused it because we already have a son and the thought of him getting attached to a child that was then returned to their family is heartbreaking. I take my hat off to you. That must be really difficult.

Our SW are coming tomorrow. I am really looking forward to it.



 
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Old Feb 10th, 2016, 19:14 PM   16
Axl2
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Yeah I think foster to adopt would be really hard. I don't think I could do it. I give you a lot of credit Savasanna.

Yay that's exciting missk1989!! We did our homestudy today we have another meeting the first week of March. It was about 5 hours long a lot of questions about our grief over not have a child, our personalities, etc. Its very personal stuff.

Good luck missk!! Let me know how it goes.



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Old Feb 11th, 2016, 08:16 AM   17
Savasanna
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Yea.. sometimes I don't think I can do it, either! It'll be weird to start over again. Like with the girls we didn't fully know what we were getting ourselves in to. But this next time.. we're going to KNOW. I'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing.

Good luck with your sw visit today! Taking steps is so exciting! Let us know how it goes!

Axl - how was your homestudy? I give your agency credit for recognizing the loss of pregnancy/birth. A HUGE complaint I have with the state is they don't take our emotions into consideration at all. They've never addressed that side of things, or even that we feel loss when children reunify. It's weird and feels very impersonal. So it's awesome that your agency is helping you work through some of those emotions before a child comes into your life.

While I'm thinking of it - I just wanted to let you guys know that it's totally normal if you meet your baby and don't feel an INSTANT connection. I spent the first several months with the girls wondering if I would be as frustrated with them if they "were mine" or if I would love them more, etc.. I felt really guilty and like I was failing these kids. It's not spoken about a lot but it's so so normal to feel like that. It took maybe 6 months to really form a bond with them, but once it was there it was oh so very real and deep and meaningful. So don't fret if it takes a while.

Hope you all have a brilliant day!



 
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Old Feb 12th, 2016, 21:07 PM   18
Axl2
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The homestudy was good!! We have a few things we have to look into attachment issues and premature babies. I'm also looking into parenting classes which I can't find any in our area so I'm hoping we can do it online. Yeah it is awesome that they talk about the whole grieving thing. Its hard to talk about it with a stranger tho.

Thanks for the advance I was kind of already thinking of that I'm hoping that isn't the case tho.

Does the sw call you and see if your ok with situation or do they just place you with a foster child? Also can you adopt through the government? In Canada you can foster, adopt through government or private.



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Old Feb 13th, 2016, 14:52 PM   19
missk1989
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Hi guys. SW visit went really well. We are looking at going to panel by the beginning of June and having a child home by August. Sometimes I think it is ages away but with easter fast approaching and the all the bank holiday etc, I am sure it will come round fast!



 
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Old Feb 13th, 2016, 17:28 PM   20
Axl2
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That's exciting missk1989!! And yeah it right around the corner it will be here sooner than you think.



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