Thank god we have this new board - BnB has been such a support to me throught my LTTTC days - and it would be great to have that same support as I move on in my journey!
My DH and I have 'unexplained infertility' and we were lucky enough to get three free goes at IVF on the NHS. Unfortunately our third and final go failed back in March - and I had a review with my consultant this morning who said that unfortunately there is nothing else the NHS can now do for me. And so - after a lot of crying and heartache over the last four years we have come to the end of the TTC road - and whilst being 'unexplained' there is still a chance of a spontaneous pregnancy for us - seen as is hasnt ever happened in the last four year -we have decided to move onto adoption.
I have been to an adoption open evening for Hertfordshire and I now have a form to fill in which asks questions about why we want to adopt etc. Apparently on the strength of this letter someone will come out to interview me and my DH. Once we have had the interview, if they want to take us forward, we will be put on a waiting list to go on an introduciton to adoption course (currently the waitng lsit for this is 8 months). Once we have done the course and decide we still want to go ahead we then have to provide references which are checked out, along with our CRB checks. As long as the references and criminal checks are OK we then start going through home interviews and have to attend another more in depth course. Once we have gone through this we have to fill in a form 'F' whhc records everything we have learnt through our course and home studies and then the entire thing goes in front of a panel. This panel have the final say and they decide whether to approve us or not. Providing they approve us we then go on the adoption wiating lsit. Apparently you can be quite pro-active about getting matched with a child - using websites like bemyparent.com and Hertfordshire has child open evenings where they give you info about all the children waiting to be placed that you can reigster an interest in.
So - all in all - its going to be a long and hard process - but at least it has more certainty than the IVF we have just been through - and somehting I can have control over suits me down to the ground.
That said - at the moment I cant face filling in the form to get the process started. It has only been just over a month since our failure - and TBH the meeting today with my FS knocked me for six. I really felt that I was over it - but I started crying the minute i got to the hospital - just felt wierd going back to the palce where just a year ago when I strated treatment with them I thought that they were the answer to all my prayers - and yet here I am leaving with empty arms.
But - I know that today is just a set back - and that tomorrow i will wake up and it will be a little bit easier - and each day I will get stronger - until I can face filling in the form and can start to get excited about my new journey.
But in the meantime - I am so grateful for this baord - and was really hoping to find new buddies who are the same as me - still gieving for the lost hopes of their IVF, but trying to get excited about a new journey and wanting some support along the way.
Just wanted to wish you the very best of luck with your adoption journey!
My parents were from the "spontaneous pregnancy" camp - after all TTC options failed (though there were less options then), they adopted me.
A year later my brother was conceived naturally and totally unexpectedly!
We have been discussing adoption for our second so I am also glad this forum is up!
I am very excited for you for this journey. My brother went through failed ac and adopted 2 children. I think you are a hero for the information that this section will provide others and help them on their journey to parenthood. I know dh and I do not get free ivf in canada - so we may only go for 1 try - then we will be joining you on this journey.
I wish you the best in the world!! I can only begin to imagine how hard it must feel to take this step after ltttc, and fill out those forms right now. A saying that I tell myself all the time is "one step at a time, we must keep stepping".
Ive just read your post and altho ive nothing useful to add i just wanted to wish you luck.
I cant believe how long winded the adoption process is, i suppose it has to be but .. well it sounds so long winded!.
I cant imagine how hard it must be to fill in that first form, it must be like closing a door on 1 chapter of you life but opening a door to another.
Hope it all goes really well for you hun xxx
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