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Old Jun 1st, 2012, 17:16 PM   1
SashimiMimi
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3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?


Hi Ladies! I just found out the other day that my third IUI had failed. The first one we did was a natural cycle IUI, second IUI was with femara and ovidrel shot and the third was with Puregone injections and ovidrel. I had 4 mature follicles and OH's sperm count was a "gold medal winning, record-breaking count" according to our doctor. We have been TTC for a year and all the tests so far have been clear.

The first two IUIs I was disappointed, but eager to move on to the next cycle. This one, however, has completely crushed me. I have those nagging doubts like maybe this is never going to work. So my question is, for those who have had multiple failed assisted conception procedures, how do you cope and keep your spirits up?

I just started a new job a month ago and had a complete meltdown at work when I got the BFFN news. My doctor wants me to book in for the lap surgery, which terrifies me a lot. I'm worried about having to explain taking time off for the surgery and then if we go the IVF route as well, but I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it.



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Old Jun 2nd, 2012, 16:25 PM   2
Juliet11
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Not going to lie, it can be really hard at times. But overall I just keep my chin up and try to stay positive.

And take it one day at a time.... I know that can be hard, but it is the best thing you can do to not get overwhelmed with "what ifs".

I know how you feel though... I remember a year ago my doctor said I should do a lap, and then do injectables/IUIs. Well last Dec I finally had the lap, and have done 2 rounds of injectables with IUIs, but BFN. I have moderate-severe endo, and am now scheduled for IVF in August.... waiting on the results of my latest and last round of injectables, IUI is on Monday.

Just trying to say that I've been there before too! hang in there.



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Old Jun 3rd, 2012, 15:07 PM   3
drsquid
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i couldnt cope even though i found out the sperm id been using was crap (donor sperm doc kept saying it didnt need to be tested). i was gonna try one more iui (id done 4, 1 unmedicated, 2 femara and one injections) but decided it was too stressful and moved to ivf. im currently doing stims for ivf.



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Old Jun 3rd, 2012, 22:11 PM   4
readyformore
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Honestly, I don't cope well at all with failed fertility treatments.

My first son was conceived on my fourth IUI cycle. I think the only thing that kept me going was thinking about what my next step was. I had already taken my IVF classes and was focusing on doing IVF if my 4th IUI was not successful. I cried a lot and was depressed. I kept moving forward because I just knew I would never conceive without assistance. I was not able to keep my spirits up.

Currently, I have done 3 IUIs all of which failed and I am done with assisted conception. It's too upsetting when they fail and so complicated to actually have it done. I just can't do anymore. I literally cried during my last IUI and on my way home. I knew that that chapter in my life was closed.



 
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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 11:37 AM   5
SashimiMimi
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Hi Ladies, I can't thank you all enough for the responses. While I'm not glad that anyone has to go through the disappointment and heartbreak of failed fertility procedures, in a way it's nice to know that I am not alone in this.

It's taken me nearly a week to come to terms with the 3rd failed IUI. I spent most of the weekend grieving in a way and now I think I'm ready to take a bit of a TTC break for a month or two just to try and catch my breath. My doctor is great, but he has moved very quickly and aggressively. I need some time to reassess and give my body a break from the fertility drugs.

Juliet11, what is the lap surgery like? Is it really painful? Would you recommend doing it? Also, did you have any symptoms of endo prior to it being discovered? I've been trying to figure out all the different things that could be wrong with me, I don't have any endo symptoms so I wondered if it is possible to have it with no symptoms at all?

I don't know if I would ever recover from a failed IVF. This whole journey is starting to feel a lot like gambling and the hardest part is the not knowing WHEN it's going to happen. If I knew it would be X number of cycles until I got my BFP, then I would be fine. But since none of us know, it's impossible not to get discouraged!!!



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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 18:59 PM   6
readyformore
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SashimiMimi View Post
I don't know if I would ever recover from a failed IVF.
This is one of the reasons that I have never tried it. It might work, but it's only 30% success and I've heard that most 1st IVFs are not successful (I have not heard that from a doctor though). The disappointment that would follow with a failure would just be too much for me.

I hope your break works well for you.



 
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Old Jun 5th, 2012, 22:28 PM   7
tlm
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Sashimi - I understand how you feel! I had my lap and hysteroscopy in March due to being seen by my re for almost a year and 6 failed cycles of clomid. My doctor has always said that endo might be an issue given that I am 32 and never been pager ant. Apparently 80% of women over 30 and have never had a child have some degree of endometrosis. I had stage 3 endometriosis demoved along with 2 fibroids in my uterus. I only had pre AF spotting, that was my only symptom. And I am still spotting so I am not sure it was after all the endo.

I would not worry too much about surgery! I know it's easier said than done! But mine was really not bad! The gas afterward was kind of annoying, but I was up walking around the day after with very few limitations. I was told not to work out or have sex until I had my follow up appt a week after surgery. I ended up having a cyst that was painful during the second part of my cycle post surgery and that was more painful / annoying than the actual lap and hysteroscopy itself.

I would definitely recommend doing the lap! It was very beneficial for me! My doctor is pretty convinced that he found my problem.

Good luck!!



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Old Jun 9th, 2012, 15:02 PM   8
SashimiMimi
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Hi Ladies!! I'm currently away on vacation and I have to say its great having a break from TTC and fertility appointments. My lap is booked for July 10 and I'm really nervous, but thinking I might do it just to get it over with! Can't thank you all enough for your encouragement and support.



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Old Jun 10th, 2012, 11:43 AM   9
678star-bex
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Just wanted to say that it's ok to feel ba and cry. I cried during my last iui and it was awful. Currently on 2ww and just thinking about iui 4 and beyond it helps to have options in the future if u can. Talking helps but only really to others that understand. We're here for u good luck



 
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Old Jun 10th, 2012, 21:09 PM   10
fisher640
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I wish I had some answers. I've only been coping somewhat, sometimes. I, and many others, are here for you though.

We've had 3 failed IUIs and my 4th should be in the next 2-3days. From there. I don't know what we'll do. DH was originally totally opposed to IVF but as time has dragged on with no changed in our parental status he's slowly changed his mind.

Like someone said earlier though, it's frustrating on so many levels, not only the failures, but even trying to work time into your schedule to have procedures/treatments/etc. It's so hard for me to believe that people actually get pregnant. I just can't imagine.



 
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