Forum Rules


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old May 19th, 2018, 13:50 PM   1681
Rainbobby18
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 224
I'm about 3 or 4 DPO I'm not really counting and I'm trying not to symptom spot I'm just biding my time to see if af is gonna show her ugly face I'm treating myself like I'm already pregnant though eating more fruits and veggies especially my leafy greens cutting down on my coffee and alcohol and drinking a lot of water and taking my vitamins



Status: Offline
 
Old May 20th, 2018, 01:51 AM   1682
fairytales87
Other
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 579
I think you need to be very very clear to him that he is simply a donor
I would also trust your instincts and if you don't have a good feeling then perhaps start looking for another donor.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 20th, 2018, 22:35 PM   1683
Cinderella
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: London
Posts: 402
Thanks for the input ladies! Iím really unsure so plan to just have a bit of a frank discussion with him about it all. I thought I already had been frank with him but something has clearly got lost in translation! Iím starting to think I might already be pregnant (crazy I know, Iím 4dpo!) so donít want to rock the boat too much just in case I am and this one sticks so will wait until af or bfp before discussing it! I can get over the politics thing, because I donít plan on being that involved with him afterwards... heís just started messaging me more recently and asking if I want a coffee if heís ever in the area 🤷🏻*♀️



Status: Offline
 
Old May 21st, 2018, 01:04 AM   1684
Rainbobby18
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 224
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinderella View Post
Thanks for the input ladies! Iím really unsure so plan to just have a bit of a frank discussion with him about it all. I thought I already had been frank with him but something has clearly got lost in translation! Iím starting to think I might already be pregnant (crazy I know, Iím 4dpo!) so donít want to rock the boat too much just in case I am and this one sticks so will wait until af or bfp before discussing it! I can get over the politics thing, because I donít plan on being that involved with him afterwards... heís just started messaging me more recently and asking if I want a coffee if heís ever in the area 🤷🏻*♀️
You're welcome. Omg I'm only 5dpo and I think I might be also. Whoa he's pushing the boundaries a lot I would definitely discuss that. It's inappropriate.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 21st, 2018, 16:41 PM   1685
fairytales87
Other
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 579
Sounds to me like he wants it to be more than just a donor.
Where did you find him? What did he say at first he wanted?



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 23rd, 2018, 03:50 AM   1686
Rags
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,170
Cinderella, if this one takes would it be too sneaky to say to him that it hasn't and that you're not sure when you're going to try again and that you'll be in touch and then just get on with it yourself?
I know it's far from ideal and not the way you wanted to do things but I think if I were in your position I wouldn't be letting him know that I was expecting and I'd probably be looking at other options rather than continuing with him should this one not stick. It really comes down to what you are wanting from the future, would it be awful to have this man in your life and if he is hoping to have access to the child what kind of influence would he be. Also, once you give him access are there ramifications legally, even if he's not on the birth certificate can he seek legal advice to be know as the other parent?
Did you make any kind of contract with him at the start? That's a good way of being very clear about yours and his expectations. If you've not got a contract then do you have a copy of your email correspondence when you discussed what you wanted and what he'd be happy with? I'm not trying to complicate things for you but crossing the T's and dotting the i's at this stage could make the next 18 years far more pleasant for you all.

Good luck. Xx



Status: Offline
 
Old May 23rd, 2018, 12:13 PM   1687
Rainbobby18
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 224
The waiting is starting to get to me! Thank God I don't have any tests or I would be peeing on all the things.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 23rd, 2018, 15:34 PM   1688
Cinderella
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: London
Posts: 402
Rainbobby - tell me about it! I do have tests and trying not to pee on anything for at least another 4/5 days!

Rags and Fairytales: thank you for your input. I think I know I need to cut my ties with him. He started to say stuff like Ďwe get on so well togetherí recently too, when Iíve made it perfectly clear that Iím not after a relationship with him. Weíve mainly communicated through text, so theyíre all there saved on my phone but it would take some rifling to find the relevant ones.
I have toyed with what to do if I am pregnant, my sister suggested not saying anything to him but Iíd be so worried about him ever finding out and then causing a scene or demanding visitation etc. I always told him I wouldnít put him on the birth certificate and he would be the Ďdonorí not the daddy and he was always ok with it, but heís just started getting more friendly despite how much Iím trying to knock it on the head.

I think I have my answer though, the very fact Iím having to think about these things makes me realise that I canít carry on with him. Iím just worried about how to end it without upsetting him though, he doesnít know where I live or anything, but he knows my county and the fact that I work for the police, it wouldnít be hard to cause upset for me (not that I have reason to believe he would try to be difficult, I just know from work how weird some guys can get!) anyway, I found him on a Facebook donor site, lots of ladies have been having great success and I thought the very fact Iíd spoke to him for a year before we actually tried meant I knew him a bit better to make a judgement call 🤷🏻*♀️.

Iím starting to think Cryos would be a good idea, I just wouldnít be able to afford every cycle, more like every 3/4 cycles for a lot less of a success rate! This is so hard!



Status: Offline
 
Old May 24th, 2018, 00:25 AM   1689
Rainbobby18
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 224
Cinderella: Have you tried to find a donor thru knowndonorregistry?



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 24th, 2018, 07:20 AM   1690
Cinderella
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: London
Posts: 402
I havenít rainbo, I used CoParents.co.uk for my first donor who gave up after 3 months. And then Facebook for my current donor. Will have a look 👍🏻



Status: Offline
 

SEO by vBSEO