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Old Dec 17th, 2015, 08:02 AM   51
KatO79
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Originally Posted by MissCassie View Post
So sorry that your going through this its such a hard thing to go through and having to keep doing blood tests to make sure your levels have gone down is evenore and more heartbreaking

Afm i start progynova next wednesday and then i am booked in my lining scan on the 13th january hopefully do the transfer a couple days later.

I have 2 embies on ice and i spoke with my fs he only wants to put back 1 becusee of my age.. but there clinic policy is if you have a failed transfer then you can transfer 2 the next time.. i know im young but next year ill be 27 and i just think ill have a better chance of atleast 1 sticking if we transfer 2. And im fully aware of multiples and the risks but im willing to take the risk.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks Cassie

Hmmm I can only tell you what my RE told me. She claims putting 2 back in is risky since 1) twin pregnancies are riskier than singleton pregnancies (twins are often born earlier and often with health issues) and 2) if you put 1 good quality embie and 1 lesser quality embie in together, you risk the lesser quality embie affecting the good quality and having none implant. These are the reasons why the clinic at the local hospital I go to refuse to put more than 1 embie back in, no matter your age. I think they used to give women age 36 and over the opportunity to put 2 back in but they want to avoid twin pregnancies because of the risks so now it's only 1 embie at a time. I think I've also heard that putting 2 back in only increases your chances by around 5% anyway, if it indeed increases your chances at all

27 isn't a bad age and you're pretty young, I'm going on 37 in May myself so I'm an "oldie" when it comes to fertility

I'd personally always go for transferring 1 embie based on all this (although in my case I have no choice anyway). But it is a pretty personal decision, if you're thinking 2 would be best, then go for it

Wow so lucky your FET will happen so quickly I'm thinking AF will come around January 8th (if she isn't late because of the CP) so I'll first be stimming around that date and I think stimming is normally around 12-14 days. Although I don't know what dose of Bemfola (FSH) yet, they'll decide at my CD2/3 scan according to the nurse I spoke to. They also gave me the option of getting laproscopy done for a study being done (not because I actually need one) but I just don't feel like I have the time given my age (maybe if I was in my mid-20s or so) so told her I'd definitely want to be doing IVF #2 in January.

Sorry again about your sister, don't know if you read my advice in my earlier post?



 
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Old Dec 17th, 2015, 13:57 PM   52
Unlucky41
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Hi cassie I agree with Kat I would only Transfer one if I was at your age. After having one difficult baby as she has reflux I would not have survived having twins reflux babies as well. I know how you feel after five ivf cycles she had two eggs at the last one which turned into two embyros. At the time I really wanted to put both back to increase my chances. The first one took Luckily! I now have one left to used. Hopefully it will take as well!

Kat I am doing ok I got the perm part time role so we excited! I hate my role now. But ofcourse very scare about their reaction if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again!

How is everyone else doing? My AF due news years day.



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Old Dec 17th, 2015, 16:49 PM   53
KatO79
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Congrats Unlucky Here's hoping they'll be understanding and that you do get pregnant after your FET. Oy that sounds like a stinky day to get AF though



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2015, 04:28 AM   54
MissCassie
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[cassie: your sister sounds toxic! I have a number of toxic people in my family (my mother, aunt (mother's sister), 2 older brothers and my older sister plus it sounds like my mother's mother was also toxic) so know how that goes I highly suspect they all have narcissistic personality disorder with the 1 brother being the most malignant. I'm the chosen family scapegoat despite being the youngest My best advice would be to stop talking to her about you going through ivf, especially the emotional stuff. She sounds like she's delighting in your pain which many with e.g. Npd do (they're not called emotional vampires for nothing). Don't give her anything emotionally, brush things off and say everything's going great and you'll let her know when there's something to tell, then change the subject to something that interests her e.g her baby. When she starts talking about her baby, listen for a few minutes feigning interest so she can't say you don't care and then say you need to be somewhere and will talk later. Maybe cut down on your contact with her in general? You need to protect your emotional well-being, especially when going through ivf. I've been giving the polite brush off to my toxic siblings for a while now and they've been leaving me alone for some months now which i'm super grateful for. I can't handle them making my infertility about them and my extra malignant brother constantly putting me down in his condescending, arrogant manner and being cruel whenever i try to enforce healthy, normal boundaries.

.
yes i completely agree that my sister has a narcissistic disorder, she is only happy when she bringing other people down... ie bitching about everyone! and about anything/everything... its so horrible! but dont dare say anything about her to anyone because she will be your worst nightmare... bleh..

thing is, i dont talk to her much anyway... she lives in a different state to me and when we lived near each-other,we were best friends i could talk to her about anything and she would be great! but since i moved and started ivf she has become nasty... i think its because she has been with her now husband for almost 10 years and she hasn't fallen pregnant in this time either.. yet her 16yr old daughter did..so i think she is jealous

i think it is the best thing to do just politely brush people off which i am learning to do..

I'm sorry about your brother constantly putting you down its not very nice at all.i think sometimes people really need to learn if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all!

we sound very similar! im the youngest too and my sisters/mum like to make my infertility about them too! gosh people can be so arrogant!



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2015, 04:42 AM   55
MissCassie
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Originally Posted by KatO79 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissCassie View Post
So sorry that your going through this its such a hard thing to go through and having to keep doing blood tests to make sure your levels have gone down is evenore and more heartbreaking

Afm i start progynova next wednesday and then i am booked in my lining scan on the 13th january hopefully do the transfer a couple days later.

I have 2 embies on ice and i spoke with my fs he only wants to put back 1 becusee of my age.. but there clinic policy is if you have a failed transfer then you can transfer 2 the next time.. i know im young but next year ill be 27 and i just think ill have a better chance of atleast 1 sticking if we transfer 2. And im fully aware of multiples and the risks but im willing to take the risk.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks Cassie

Hmmm I can only tell you what my RE told me. She claims putting 2 back in is risky since 1) twin pregnancies are riskier than singleton pregnancies (twins are often born earlier and often with health issues) and 2) if you put 1 good quality embie and 1 lesser quality embie in together, you risk the lesser quality embie affecting the good quality and having none implant. These are the reasons why the clinic at the local hospital I go to refuse to put more than 1 embie back in, no matter your age. I think they used to give women age 36 and over the opportunity to put 2 back in but they want to avoid twin pregnancies because of the risks so now it's only 1 embie at a time. I think I've also heard that putting 2 back in only increases your chances by around 5% anyway, if it indeed increases your chances at all

27 isn't a bad age and you're pretty young, I'm going on 37 in May myself so I'm an "oldie" when it comes to fertility

I'd personally always go for transferring 1 embie based on all this (although in my case I have no choice anyway). But it is a pretty personal decision, if you're thinking 2 would be best, then go for it

Wow so lucky your FET will happen so quickly I'm thinking AF will come around January 8th (if she isn't late because of the CP) so I'll first be stimming around that date and I think stimming is normally around 12-14 days. Although I don't know what dose of Bemfola (FSH) yet, they'll decide at my CD2/3 scan according to the nurse I spoke to. They also gave me the option of getting laproscopy done for a study being done (not because I actually need one) but I just don't feel like I have the time given my age (maybe if I was in my mid-20s or so) so told her I'd definitely want to be doing IVF #2 in January.

Sorry again about your sister, don't know if you read my advice in my earlier post?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unlucky41 View Post
Hi cassie I agree with Kat I would only Transfer one if I was at your age. After having one difficult baby as she has reflux I would not have survived having twins reflux babies as well. I know how you feel after five ivf cycles she had two eggs at the last one which turned into two embyros. At the time I really wanted to put both back to increase my chances. The first one took Luckily! I now have one left to used. Hopefully it will take as well!

Kat I am doing ok I got the perm part time role so we excited! I hate my role now. But ofcourse very scare about their reaction if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again!

How is everyone else doing? My AF due news years day.
Thanks Ladies!

I guess i am just super torn between transferring 1 as my last transfer i had a chemical and that was absolutely heart breaking because i have never ever seen those 2 beautiful lines on a pg test ever!! even when i have my MC back in 2010 i had no idea i was even pregnant due to PCOS and going months between having periods...

and i completely agree that if i had twins it would be super difficult and i couldn't imagine having 2 babies with bad reflux, as me and partner get very bad reflux as it is so our babies are bound to have it.

so the embies that i have 1 is a 5 day blast and the other is a day 6, maybe if i put them together it wouldn't be a great idea anyway?

the main reason why my fs said he doesn't want me to transfer the 2 is because the risk of Cerebral pausy \. the couple who went in before us they had twins and 1 had cerebral pausy and the other didnt and thats why he stronhlu advised against it... also due to my age as it would be a super high risk pregnancy..


but i think i will take both of your advice and only transfer the 1 which will hopefully take place in a months time

how are you feeling kat? how did your last beta go?

Unlucky, congrats on your new job! and hopefully they take it well when you get preggers off your next transfer



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2015, 04:45 AM   56
MissCassie
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Also sorry if my replies are terrible some days... we dont have internet at or house due to lack of ports so im always using my phone..and every once in a while i'll tether my phone to the laptop.



 
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Old Dec 18th, 2015, 06:35 AM   57
KatO79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissCassie View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatO79 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissCassie View Post
So sorry that your going through this its such a hard thing to go through and having to keep doing blood tests to make sure your levels have gone down is evenore and more heartbreaking

Afm i start progynova next wednesday and then i am booked in my lining scan on the 13th january hopefully do the transfer a couple days later.

I have 2 embies on ice and i spoke with my fs he only wants to put back 1 becusee of my age.. but there clinic policy is if you have a failed transfer then you can transfer 2 the next time.. i know im young but next year ill be 27 and i just think ill have a better chance of atleast 1 sticking if we transfer 2. And im fully aware of multiples and the risks but im willing to take the risk.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks Cassie

Hmmm I can only tell you what my RE told me. She claims putting 2 back in is risky since 1) twin pregnancies are riskier than singleton pregnancies (twins are often born earlier and often with health issues) and 2) if you put 1 good quality embie and 1 lesser quality embie in together, you risk the lesser quality embie affecting the good quality and having none implant. These are the reasons why the clinic at the local hospital I go to refuse to put more than 1 embie back in, no matter your age. I think they used to give women age 36 and over the opportunity to put 2 back in but they want to avoid twin pregnancies because of the risks so now it's only 1 embie at a time. I think I've also heard that putting 2 back in only increases your chances by around 5% anyway, if it indeed increases your chances at all

27 isn't a bad age and you're pretty young, I'm going on 37 in May myself so I'm an "oldie" when it comes to fertility

I'd personally always go for transferring 1 embie based on all this (although in my case I have no choice anyway). But it is a pretty personal decision, if you're thinking 2 would be best, then go for it

Wow so lucky your FET will happen so quickly I'm thinking AF will come around January 8th (if she isn't late because of the CP) so I'll first be stimming around that date and I think stimming is normally around 12-14 days. Although I don't know what dose of Bemfola (FSH) yet, they'll decide at my CD2/3 scan according to the nurse I spoke to. They also gave me the option of getting laproscopy done for a study being done (not because I actually need one) but I just don't feel like I have the time given my age (maybe if I was in my mid-20s or so) so told her I'd definitely want to be doing IVF #2 in January.

Sorry again about your sister, don't know if you read my advice in my earlier post?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unlucky41 View Post
Hi cassie I agree with Kat I would only Transfer one if I was at your age. After having one difficult baby as she has reflux I would not have survived having twins reflux babies as well. I know how you feel after five ivf cycles she had two eggs at the last one which turned into two embyros. At the time I really wanted to put both back to increase my chances. The first one took Luckily! I now have one left to used. Hopefully it will take as well!

Kat I am doing ok I got the perm part time role so we excited! I hate my role now. But ofcourse very scare about their reaction if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again!

How is everyone else doing? My AF due news years day.
Thanks Ladies!

I guess i am just super torn between transferring 1 as my last transfer i had a chemical and that was absolutely heart breaking because i have never ever seen those 2 beautiful lines on a pg test ever!! even when i have my MC back in 2010 i had no idea i was even pregnant due to PCOS and going months between having periods...

and i completely agree that if i had twins it would be super difficult and i couldn't imagine having 2 babies with bad reflux, as me and partner get very bad reflux as it is so our babies are bound to have it.

so the embies that i have 1 is a 5 day blast and the other is a day 6, maybe if i put them together it wouldn't be a great idea anyway?

the main reason why my fs said he doesn't want me to transfer the 2 is because the risk of Cerebral pausy \. the couple who went in before us they had twins and 1 had cerebral pausy and the other didnt and thats why he stronhlu advised against it... also due to my age as it would be a super high risk pregnancy..


but i think i will take both of your advice and only transfer the 1 which will hopefully take place in a months time

how are you feeling kat? how did your last beta go?

Unlucky, congrats on your new job! and hopefully they take it well when you get preggers off your next transfer

I totally understand having had a CP after IVF myself, I know how much they hurt, more than it would after trying naturally I would think because you go through all those scans, shots and the uncomfortable ER to just be so close to it working.

It's true though that twin pregnancies are considered risky which is exactly why the clinic at the hospital I go to do what they can to avoid them by transfering 1 embie at a time. I'm thinking if you're planning on having more children you'll have those embies waiting for you for a few years! I know the hospital I go to keeps them for 5 years so people have the opportunity to space their children out. Although we will most likely just keep to having the one child due to my age but we'll see! I definitely wouldn't do any more IVFs to have #2 if DH and I decide to have another, it'd be FETs and if they didn't work or if we don't have any frozen embies, we'd let it go. Right now I'd be super grateful just to have one child now

Just called about the last beta and it's down to 1 so no more blood tests It was a trying day again as there was 1 pregnant woman (a really annoying, entitled one too as she tried to skip the line waiting to get in) and 3 newborns in the waiting room There was even a couple with their newborn baby close to the corner I was going to sit to avoid seeing babies and pregnant women so had to sit another place although it wasn't ideal The nurse tried again for getting me to do that project and I felt kinda bad saying no thanks and that we're really into doing IVF #2 in January As said, if I was in my mid-20s I'd have considered it but turning 37 in May makes me feel I need to use what little semi-fertility time I have left to trying for baby #1. Or maybe if it was something they could've done this month since I couldn't start my next IVF this month anyway? I guess I'm still trying to completely shed my malignant narcissistic brother's insistance that I'm just the most selfish and horrible person ever - it'll take time.



 
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Old Dec 19th, 2015, 14:19 PM   58
nimbec
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Hi everyone

Kat I'm pleased but also so sorry your beta is now 1 - at least this means you can carry on and plan again! It must be awful in the waiting room I also 100% agree with you not doing the trial I don't think it's selfish at all, In fact very sensible as you just don't know what is going to happen on this ttc journey. I'm 35 next year and I don't think I'd take the option either. What is the next stage for you now? Are you going off next AF? Sorry if you have already said!!

Misscassie until I did a lot of reading online I was also going to put 2 embies back however there are far too many risks in my opinion after reading lots of times people saying they wish they had been warned about the dangers/difficulties of the pregnancy and also problems/disabilities after birth. I figured I'd never forgive myself BUT it is very much an individual choice. Have a look at the research on line and also threads it's quite interesting but be prepared to be shocked

Unlucky congrats on your job!

Tina any sign of AF? I really hope she doesn't arrive what a lovely Xmas present that would be!

Miranda hope you are ok.

Sorry if I have missed anyone! It's been super busy here, and AF arrived today I was so hoping I may be pg goodness only knows why...after so many months of disappointment why should this month be any different! Anyway pleased to start the process - day 21 of this cycle however DH has announced he is doing a boys ski trip right before transfer 😡😡😡 so I may have to delay starting stims for another few days just to make sure he is back!! Not impressed but hey ho there you go! He's very supportive and has been looking forward to this for ages.

Hope everyone is ok!



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2015, 03:46 AM   59
KatO79
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Hi everyone

Kat I'm pleased but also so sorry your beta is now 1 - at least this means you can carry on and plan again! It must be awful in the waiting room I also 100% agree with you not doing the trial I don't think it's selfish at all, In fact very sensible as you just don't know what is going to happen on this ttc journey. I'm 35 next year and I don't think I'd take the option either. What is the next stage for you now? Are you going off next AF? Sorry if you have already said!!
Well I knew there was no chance of it being a viable pregnancy seeing as how at 14dp2dt (which ia 16 dpo) my beta should've been around 100 and it was only 34 and the nurse said no way it was anything but a chemical

Thanks nimbec I was starting to feel like a heel for saying no I'll be doing IVF #2 as our last 2 embies (only had 3 eggs and all 3 fertilised which I was super happy about at the time as I was fearing maybe the sperm couldn't penetrate the eggs' shells and that was our issue) apparently either didn't make it to day 5 or weren't deemed viable for the freezing process so no frosties. So yeah, no choice but doing IVF #2. Although this time we'll be doing short protocol in the hopes it will give me more eggs since the long protocol suppressed me way too much plus they didn't give me a high enough dose of Bemfola (seeing as how I only got 3 eggs and they aim for 8-12) I also developed a non-functional cyst during down regulation which meant I had to down regulate for an extra week. They said with my hormone levels being so good we should be able to get more eggs out of me this time. I'm guessing AF will come around January 8th so will be starting stims around there. They always force you to take 1 cycle break between treatments plus they go on Christmas vacation between the 23rd/24th December until 2nd of January so couldn't have started this cycle no matter what. Plus I think after a CP they definitely want you taking a 1 cycle break.

Sorry AF came, I think it's normal to have a sliver of hope that you'll get pregnant naturally during your wait to start again. It does happen for some Sorry you'll have to delay stims a bit but hopefully you'll get your BFP this time



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2015, 07:41 AM   60
miranda007
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Hey!! I wrote a big message yesterday and it didn't post!! Damn thing.
But wanted to say Cassie when I read what your sister did I nearly cried (doesn't take much these days!). That is so so cruel.

You're young - I'd only put one in. And I haven't done too much reading but I know enough.

Kat - I think I remember your messages from another forum - your family sounds horrible. Horrendous. . You're right to give them some distance.

Tina - I always had that hope I'd get pregnant naturally between staring IVF. Miracles can happen.

Unlucky 41 - congrats on your new job!

All good with me. Decided to forgive my sister and my mum - well try to move on. It wasn't deliberate. My sister is the person whose whole world revolves around her. And hard to consider others feelings. Want to go into January being all zen and happy. So that's what I need right now so I'm just like - let it go!
I had dinner tonight with two of my husband's friends wives who are due any day. Argh!! I remember when we were trying around the same time. Kind of annoying. I just feel like all this wasted time has gone by - sometimes I get so angry. Brings up frustrations (that I've tried to put behind me) that my husband waited 15 months after we got married to get a sperm test. He warned me we'd have trouble when we dated because of a surgery he had when he was younger. And it feels like we should (well he) should have been onto it sooner. Anyway, can't change the past. But there a big difference in those years after you're 34! Now our second wedding anniversary comes up in Feb and god i hope I'm pregnant. IVF journey has been so slow. But keeping positive (trying too) we will get there.

I'm guessing period will come 5th January so they'll track me after 10 days? I don't even know how it works. Must call - might try and fit in a little get away somewhere.

Nearly get the genetic testing results back soon...hopefully it's by Christmas! I just want to know.



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