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Old Mar 29th, 2017, 22:24 PM   341
Cppeace
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That's wonderful news Waypast. I hope it all works out. Enjoy



 
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Old Mar 31st, 2017, 05:51 AM   342
Hopeful Cat
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Hi ladies, my baby girl was concieved with donor sperm because my husband has azoospermia. She is almost 1 and we love her to bits!! Hope you all get success stories ☺ we are getting ready to start again and have a frozen embryo waiting. We've used an unknown donor through our ivf clinic



 
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Old Apr 20th, 2017, 21:35 PM   343
Aleriya
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We are using donor sperm, because we are a same-sex couple. Our egg retrieval is set for May 15th. I didn't get to read all the forum posts, but I would naturally assume donor sperm to be highly viable since it has passed all the screening.

Those of you who used donor sperm, when you look at the child do you ever wish you knew the donor? We went with identifiable as that is what is required here. I personally wish I could spend time and have a chat with the donor. As where my partner prefers that we don't know the donor.

Another question, did your clinic suggest that you start telling your child as young as 2 that they are a child of a donor? There was this whole counselling session we had to sit through. I'm still not sure how you would work that into a conversation with a 2 year old.

Thanks!



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Old Apr 22nd, 2017, 09:14 AM   344
Hopeful Cat
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I talk to my girl about donor background now and again...i think it helps to start well before they can understand so that you can get it sorted in your own head and it feels more natural. I do not wish to know our donor, there is curiosity but no desire to ever meet unless my baby wants that.



 
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Old Apr 22nd, 2017, 12:58 PM   345
DeuceMom
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Old Apr 25th, 2017, 18:03 PM   346
mangotango
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aleriya View Post
We are using donor sperm, because we are a same-sex couple. Our egg retrieval is set for May 15th. I didn't get to read all the forum posts, but I would naturally assume donor sperm to be highly viable since it has passed all the screening.

Those of you who used donor sperm, when you look at the child do you ever wish you knew the donor? We went with identifiable as that is what is required here. I personally wish I could spend time and have a chat with the donor. As where my partner prefers that we don't know the donor.

Another question, did your clinic suggest that you start telling your child as young as 2 that they are a child of a donor? There was this whole counselling session we had to sit through. I'm still not sure how you would work that into a conversation with a 2 year old.

Thanks!
Aleriya- good question! I look at our daughter who is 2 now and rarely think of her as anything other than my husband's. Sometimes I say a prayer and thank that the donor gave us this amazing child and I do wonder what he is like because she is AMAZING and smart and I'm sure some of it comes from him- although she does have a lot of me! LOL Unfortunately we didn't get back to our donor bank soon enough so we never purchased extra vials and are going through this again with a new donor- with much more trouble this time.

As for telling our daughter- our clinic psych has really pushed us to tell her and I find no reason to at this point...how DO you tell a 2 year old? Also for us, not many people know my husband has sperm issues (zero sperm) so we don't want her running around like a2 or 3 year old does saying things about sperm and letting our secret out to everyone- which is very private. At this point we don't barely think about it being from a donor- because she is our child.



 
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Old Jul 18th, 2017, 14:00 PM   347
twomomstobe
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How did you all find donors? We are located in the United Kingdom!



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Old Jul 18th, 2017, 14:40 PM   348
Savasanna
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We used frozen sperm from a cryobank. For a while we also had a known donor - but it was my wife's brother so that's how we found him.

I know in the US there's a known donor registry - I have mixed feelings about it but I know of at least one person on these boards who used that to find their donor.



 
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Old Jul 25th, 2017, 12:56 PM   349
Rags
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aleriya View Post
We are using donor sperm, because we are a same-sex couple. Our egg retrieval is set for May 15th. I didn't get to read all the forum posts, but I would naturally assume donor sperm to be highly viable since it has passed all the screening.

Those of you who used donor sperm, when you look at the child do you ever wish you knew the donor? We went with identifiable as that is what is required here. I personally wish I could spend time and have a chat with the donor. As where my partner prefers that we don't know the donor.

Another question, did your clinic suggest that you start telling your child as young as 2 that they are a child of a donor? There was this whole counselling session we had to sit through. I'm still not sure how you would work that into a conversation with a 2 year old.

Thanks!
Hello, I have an amazing 7 year old son thanks to an unknown donor. I am a solo parent. When I had my confirmation of conception scan I asked if the donor had provided any information to be passed on and was given a note of his height, weight, hair and eye colour as this was all he wanted recipients to know - he will be traceable when Ds is 18. When Ds was born I briefly worried that I wouldn't 'recognise' him and that his features would all come from the unknown side of his gene pool, I needn't have concerned myself - my family are all blond with blue eyes, the donor had brown hair with brown eyes, Ds is copper haired with hazel eyes like my mums (the only person in the family to have them). His mannerisms and expressions have developed from seeing myself and my family on a daily basis so from very early on I realised I only saw the things I recognised in him, anything that I can't attribute directly to my gene pool I just think of as being him.

As far as Ds knowing how he came about, I always intended to be open with him, I wanted his conception to be normal to him and not some big revelation when he was older. As it was Ds first asked about how babies got into your tummy when he was only about 2 and a half - I took his cue and explained that a baby was made there, when he came back to me a couple of weeks later to ask 'how' I explained that 'two seeds bump together and each has half the information for making a baby...' (we'd grown veg from seed that summer so he understood the principle of seed to plant etc). As the weeks went by he continued to ask more questions reaching the 'where do the seeds come from' question quite quickly. I told him that baby girls are born with their seeds in them and the other one comes from a man and that in many cases the man is the babies father but that in his case a very generous man had left some of his seeds at a hospital for people who might need to get them from there because they didn't have another way of getting them. As time has gone on our vocabulary has changed, he now knows eggs and sperm, male and female genitalia, menstruation, stages of fetal development etc, it's a normal part of his life and he can ask me at any time for more information.



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Old Sep 7th, 2017, 04:12 AM   350
KPeakey
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Hope it's ok for me to join in. Me and my wife are currently experiencing our first 2WW with known donor sperm. We've always intended to be upfront with our hopeful child as it's fairly obvious that we had to procure sperm from somewhere. We went known donor because we wanted to be able to give our child any answers necessary. We also are very lucky to know a wonderful man who doesn't want to be involved. I fully appreciate this isn't the case for everyone and that for many couples/people the idea of known donor just doesn't sit right. It's a really personal decision on an individual basis.

Rags, what a beautiful explanation you gave of your feeling on raising a donor conceived child. It really puts my mind at rest, knowing I won't have any biological links to my child. The way you explained his conception to him is fantastic, and I really hope to use similar cues.

It's really great to talk to others in a similar boat, so hi all!



 
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