Hi Ladies, my name is Tiffany and I am a single woman planning on TTC #1 starting in January 2017 using frozen donor sperm. I'm thinking of doing 3-6 home ICI inseminations before graduating to IUI if it doesn't take right away. I'm just turning 28 and have no known health issues so I am hopeful that with the right timing I will get a BFP from the home insemenations! I've been stalking BnB since last year and have learned so much and have loved following so many amazing women on this journey.
I identify as asexual and while I have never wanted a traditional relationship, I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mother. I want it all, the special baby time, the active toddler, the toilet training and picky eating, the parent-teacher conferences, the moody teen years...everything! I am an RN and also run an online business from home that can support me comfortably staying home long term if needed, I'm not wealthy but I am stable. I am super close to my mom and sister and have the full support of everyone I know, I'm very open with my "Choice Mom" plans. I am choosing to go through a bank for the legal assurances, the anonymity and to simplify the process.
I have thought about this for years and finally am ready to start TTC. I would love to have your support and join you all on your journeys too-there is something so special about celebrating the conception and eventually the birth of a new baby-no matter who it belongs to!
Welcome mombychoice! So glad to have you join us and excited for you to start your TTC journey. I agree that babies are always special no matter how they come about. Since you're using a bank, have you already picked your donor? I felt like I was online dating when I picked mine
Hi WayPastReady, thanks for the welcome! I am still so undecided about a which donor to go with and will probably cycle through a couple of different donors if I don't get my BFP right away...just in case there is an incompatibility with me or an issue with the donation itself...paranoid maybe but I've read it can up the odds.
I assume you chose a donor to match your OH as closely as possible? Or did you choose another way?
I am super open on the personality/background (assuming nothing significant) but I'm stuck on the "best" coloring that would be compatible with me. I'm also being picky about looks because there is a chance baby could look just like the donor with little influence by me. Hopefully baby takes after me or is at least a good mix but just in case, I'm looking at these baby pictures thinking "if my baby looked like that would he/she still look like "mine".
Being a single woman, it not only feels like online dating but also a bit like chemistry class....I'm thinking of the donor as a person but also as a genetic contributor to my future kid/s. Since I'm not having a baby with someone, I have sole choice/responsibility and it's hard! The possibilities are endless. In the end I just want a healthy, cute baby, no matter the coloring.
I am blue/blonde but I color my hair black and have no plans on going back to my natural color. I'm trying to decide between the blue eyed donors who will likely throw blonde hair with me or between a brown/brown donor and possibly lose my blue eyes in the baby.
I don't think it's vain to want my child to look like me but should I be putting this much thought into it? Lol Do I choose a blue/blonde donor because I know what coloring baby will have (if I am lucky enough to get pregnant and carry to term) or do I go with a brown/brown donor and be surprised!?
It's strange to "get" to make this choice when procreating-most people just fall in love with someone and that's that.
Curious about how you all went about choosing your donor, whether known or bank provided!
Coloring is very complicated. I have brown hair and hazel eyes. Our donor has brown hair and green eyes. Dd is blonde haired and has BRIGHT blue eyes! So it's much more than just your and the donor's coloring. Family genetics plays a big role too. Dd has my fathers eyes and my hair was blonde until I was 2/3. Thankfully she is a clone of me. Looks nothing like the donor or other kids he's helped make. Though I'm only in intact with 2 families who have also used him.
So you could chose a donor whose coloring matches yours and have a baby who matches neither. Genetics is fascinating.
Including a pic of dd and I so you can see how much we look alike. We are about the same age. I'm on the right dd on the left. I lucked out with her looking so much like me. I do often wonder if the next will look after me as well or the donor. I have baby pictures of him to compare.
Thank you KylasBaby! Your daughter is beautiful and you certainly did luck out because she really does look just like you-what a lovely little girl.
And I do get it's a gamble no matter what, I can choose a blue/blonde or brown/brown donor and end up with a green eyed, freckle faced redhead (and that would be fine with me too!) I think I'm just stuck in the "I can't believe it's happening and this is such a big choice" thing. I will be ordering at the end of the month or in the first days of January and may end up making a last minute decision then.
I think I'll move away from thinking of this perfect "dream baby" as far as coloring goes and focus more on facial features to match me and on the donor himself, does he sound like someone I'd want to have a baby with. In the end I just hope to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, I know I will love baby no matter who he or she looks like.
So excited for January to get here and to finally be able to participate in these boards after stalking them all for so long lol
Thank you! I'm hoping #2 is another mini-me as well, but of course you get what you get.
It is such a big choice. We really wanted a brown hair and blue eyed donor because that's what OH is, but we found our donor and went with him. We made sure his background was as close to ours as possible too so we would know the history. He is a mix of things I am as well as a tad Portuguese which neither of us are, but there's no such thing as a donor that is 100% what anyone wants. He has worked out great for us.
What you should really focus on is the health history. It was important for me to use a rh-donor as I am rh- as well. An rh+ donor wouldn't be an issue really I just would have needed some extra shots. I wish I had connected with other families who used him before though and we would have looked for a different donor. My daughter has a severe milk/soy protein intolerance that made the first few months of her life miserable. The other 2 families I'm connected with have girls with the same issues. As well as sleep issues. I'm not sure if you can find that out though. We have decided to use the same donor despite the issues as I really want my children to be full biological siblings and we already have a relationship with him and know he won't have any issues signing over his rights or anything.
I don't remember freaking out this much when ttc my daughter, but now I am haha. I guess because I'm thinking of how much it will affect her now as well.
Come on January bfps! Little over a month until we will be getting around to our insems!
Do you have a journal on here or anything? Id love to follow!
I can definitely relate to the coloring decision as well lol. I wanted the donor to look as much like DH as possible with regard to height, weight, hair color, and eye color, but surprisingly enough my DH wanted to pick the type of guy that he would want to be with the thought that it's his chance to give our child better DNA than he could provide. That means he wanted someone 6'5 or taller, lean, and an athlete. Obviously that's not practical, and we ended up going with the donor profile of a guy who seems very sweet, caring, and genuine. I know I can't think of it as carrying another man's baby, but I needed to feel like I would actually like the guy if I met him so I have positive thoughts about him and our future child. I have brown hair and brown eyes, and DH has brown hair and blue eyes so I really wanted a donor with blue eyes to have a chance at the baby looking like DH but the donor I chose does have brown hair and brown eyes, so people will most likely think the baby looks like me just based on coloring. Funny enough, strangers tell me all the time that my adopted daughter looks just like me...most likely because she has brown hair and brown eyes. At the end of the day, I think you have to pick the donor that you're most comfortable with whether that's based primarily on physical appearance, personality, hobbies, or health history. It's a big decision, but I can honestly say that the donor we picked stood out to me right away and just felt right.
Kylas Baby, that is a good point about focusing on the health history. I'm sorry to hear about your little one's food allergies and sleep issues, but I do understand wanting to go with the same donor. I know that when I do get pregnant that I'll want to buy up many vials so that I could try for a full sibling down the road-harder to do with somewhat limited bank supplies vs. a known donor but also more convenient because once bought they are mine lol. I'm glad your donor is still on board with donating, that's something that worried me about going with fresh DS-what if he is not available for a sibling? And I like what you said, "you get what you get"...something important to keep in mind. How exciting for you all though, to already have your 1st and to be getting ready to go through it all again!
AF just ended for me too (saw your post from yesterday) so our cycles may be very close. I'm watching this one closely and will be using OPKs for the first time to try to try to pinpoint ovulation this month in anticipation of next month. What do you use to identify when you are going to ovulate? Or do your cycles go like clockwork?
And no journal yet, but I will be making one soon! I'm still figuring out the basics of posting on BnB lol. Will have to look around and check out other journals also, I've mostly stalked the threads.
WayPastReady-You are funny, with your husband wanting this super tall athlete-how cute of him. I'm glad he got to be involved in picking the DS, it had to be a difficult decision regardless of who you guys chose. That's great someone stood out to you also, the problem I'm having is that I like too many...I'm very open and just haven't found one that I am drawn to over the others. Will likely just pick last minute once it's time to order (not ship, just order lol).
Saw your post from yesterday also, so was today the big day!?!? It must be so nerve-wreaking....hoping for a Christmas miracle lol I have never TTC before so I can only imagine how I'll handle the stress for my own cycle-I'm nervous and excited for you and we only just "met" lol
Oh that's awesome our cycles are so close! I believe I'm cd7 today.
My cycles are sort of regular. I have pcos but I'm on a cocktail of herbs and vitamins that have been making me somewhat regular. I tend to ovulate a bit later, but with having pcos ovulating at all is an accomplishment. Dd was a cd20 ovulation so I'm not concerned with ovulating later. I changed things up this cycle so not sure what to expect really.
For tracking, I temp and use opks and track cm and other ovulation signs.
Mombychoice, yes, yesterday was in fact the big day!I did the first insemination at 10am yesterday and just did the second one. I was planning on doing them 12 hours apart, but then got nervous that I was planting all of my seeds in the same day so they ended up 22 hours apart. I'm still not having any ovulation pain so I'm wondering if maybe I'm having an anovulatory cycle. I have no reason to think that other than the lack of pain, so I'm probably just over-thinking things. I would definitely love a Christmas miracle and already have a plan in mind for how I would announce to DH on Christmas morning.
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