Originally Posted by Nicker

Looks like I will be a week behind you. Perhaps we could be ttc buddies and support each other in our unique situation

I had a showdown with my mom yesterday. I told her I was thinking about this a couple of months ago and she wouldn't really say a whole lot. When I told her, I also said that I didn't even know if I could conceive. (I did not know any test results at that point) She doesn't know I have seen the doc several times and gone through all of the testing and that I was told everything is fine. Yesterday, out of the blue, she comes out with "You aren't thinking about having a baby are you?" She says she can't think of anything worse than me having a baby.

She throws in my face all the time "You aren't a mother so you don't understand." Her reasons for not wanting me to have a baby is that it is going to be hard. I told her I know that. She says she can't help me. I tell her that I don't want her help. All I would want is for her to love the baby and give it hugs and kisses when we come over. She tells me that she would want to look after the baby while I am working but she can't do that anymore. I tell her that I will get a day home like all other parents and that I am not asking her to babysit. She says she wouldn't be able to accept that she isn't able to help. She would feel guilty for not babysitting my child. She says that she will worry about me and I don't understand that worry because I am not a mother. As I responded, I want to understand but she won't let me. I pointed out to my mom that she raised 3 babies and, even though she had Dad, he was no help and was a like a big kid himself. She agreed. I think it will be easier raising one by myself knowing I am on my own than raising three being frustrated by an uncooperative spouse. If I didn't know what a mother's worry is, I wouldn't have put thought in to an education plan for my unconceived child. I wouldn't have thought about who will be my child's guardians should something happen to me. I get that she is worried and that moms worry.

She says that she is telling me her opinion and begging me not to do this because she is trying to be a good Mom. I feel like she is being selfish. I am willing to make sacrifices. I am willing to put my child's needs infront of my own. I am a simple person with simple needs. I don't want or need a big fancy house or lots of clothes etc. I have a lot of love to give and I don't feel like I should be begrudged that because I am not married. Mom knows I have always wanted children. She also knows that I refuse to settle. I have seen so many people get married or end up with a guy just because they want to be married or because they want to have children and I refuse to be that girl. I pointed it out that I have faced a lot of adversity but I have always faced it head-on and came out stronger on the other side.

I was really steamed yesterday. But now that I think about it, I think being a single mom is going to be hard yes. I highly doubt I will ever regret having a baby but I am fairly certain I would regret not trying.

Originally Posted by mamadreams

Nicker, I would love to be TTC buddies with you. They say it takes a village to raise a child so, I'm quite happy to start building my support system! I am really sorry to read that you mom is unsupportive of you having a child. My mom is quite the opposite. I have wanted a baby for as long as anyone can remember and although it will be difficult, it is certainly not impossible. My mom will not be able to watch my little one everyday, but there's daycare for that and you can apply for subsidized daycare. Also, I am part of a group called Own Our Own, it's for single people who want to have children. It's free and although I have only been to one meeting as I have just started down this road, I will go to all the meetings I can, as meeting other people in the same situation is empowering. The group is run by Jan Silverstein out of the Bay Centre for Birth Control - third Thursday of the month. 790 Bay St, 8th floor. You should come and join us!

My gut feeling is that your mom will come around and warm up to the idea of you having a baby. If having a baby is what you want, go after your dream. I think being a mom is the hardest job in the world but you can do it. You are not responsible for your mom's feelings of guilt for not being able to babysit, tell her all you want is for her to love both you and the baby and if at times she can babysit, it will be a bonus. You'll be ok!

Originally Posted by fertilesoul

Ok I am officially joining the group. Ultrasound today shows my cyst is gone so I start clomid today. Next scan in 9 days, with insemination in the days to follow!!