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Old May 14th, 2013, 16:56 PM   1
AnneD
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Unannounced/unexpected visitors. Rant.


I hate people. Why do they think it's okay to just turn up on the doorstep and ring the doorbell whenever the fancy takes them? Nine times out of ten, they'll wake up the baby or not take the hint when she gets tired and I need to put her down. God forbid I've got things to do, or just don't feel like having visitors! I wish I could do something to the stupid doorbell, but it wouldn't make much difference because apparently when a person doesn't answer the doorbell, the thing to do is to hammer on the door. I mean, people! I could be out, are you going to sit on my doorstep like a stray dog until I've returned?

One friend who frequently turns up on a whim likes to stare through the window or come round the back to check if we're in. I've told her time and time again to please phone ahead of time and check if it's ok to come, but no, obviously it's too difficult to pick up the phone and dial my number.

I also "looooooove" it when I get a text saying something like "I'm round the corner, fancy a visit", and before I've even had the chance to read it, the doorbell chimes as if death himself were there waiting for me.

The visiting mafia aka depression support group (why the hell did I ever join?!?) decided to descend on me yesterday shortly after three o'clock: "am in town + 3.30 pm? Want 2 meet or ok 2 call, ( got a map! ) no pressure... ? Lx" No pressure indeed, she's obviously got my address and has a map, ffs! And why is it that putting "x" or "lol" in makes it ok to say or do anything these days? (At least this text was fairly coherent compared to the usual garbage mix of @, t/c, luv, prayin4U! and other crap that I normally get from her.) I texted back urgently saying not to come because I had relatives visiting, then spent the rest of the afternoon hoping she wouldn't turn up because adding a depressive who is on a mission to save us all to an already difficult group of inlaws would have been enough to get me sectioned, honestly. Then today, I had a slightly offended request from her to "give them a flag" (whatever) and that "Aunty C." was going to call in but will understand if I'd rather not. Just how direct do I have to be for the message to filter through? Is there anything more direct that NO? And since when does everyone know where I live? All this after I made it clear several times that I will not attend group meetings because I have a baby and going out of an evening is just not an option, that I can't meet up for a picnic or for lunch because the baby will only sleep on me, that I didn't feel like having visitors, and that I will let them know when I feel up to organizing something so we can meet up.

I just cannot deal with unannounced visitors. I cannot. I hate the way they expect me to drop everything when they decide to turn up. Unreasonable?

Rant over.



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Old May 14th, 2013, 16:58 PM   2
robinator
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AnneD, long time, no see!

Yes, that would piss me off. They actually circle your house and peer through the windows?

Gosh, I never show up without okaying it first (unless the neighbors are in the yard and I head over for a chat). You should just put a sign on the door saying you and baby are asleep, so please don't knock or ring the bell. And just leave it up all the time!



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Old May 14th, 2013, 17:01 PM   3
Bluesea
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I know what you mean! People have NO clue! We dont have time or energy to be entertaining when we have baby. Go to someone else's house!




 
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Old May 14th, 2013, 17:02 PM   4
pompeyvix
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You are right to feel pissed off! We are lucky, we don't get unexpected visitors but if we did I would be royally annoyed.



 
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Old May 14th, 2013, 17:13 PM   5
Larkspur
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I put a sign on my door saying "Baby sleeping, uninvited visitors please do not knock! Thanks." because I was sick of all the damn door-to-door salesmen, charity collectors and religious zealots banging on my door and waking my baby.

In a related rant, when a door-to-door salesperson/charity collector/religious zealot bangs on your door in the middle of the day, saying, "Hi, my name is Dan, how are you today?" why, when you answer, "NOT VERY GOOD, YOU JUST WOKE MY BABY" do they think there is any point in continuing with their pitch?!



 
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Old May 14th, 2013, 17:47 PM   6
Zephram
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Ooooh I get you exactly, AnneD! My biggest pet peeve is people who show up unexpectedly or text when they're 'around the corner' and just show up anyway. This is like 90% of OH's family. I hate it!



 
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Old May 14th, 2013, 18:02 PM   7
Katerpillar
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NOTHING worse than an uninvited visitor!!! Makes me angry to the core and then I struggle to be nice while I sit there making excuses for why I haven't hoovered the carpet yet!! Wtf? Hate people coming to my house when the housework is not done...so when they turn up unexpectedly I could scream. And what is it about people turning up and if LO is in bed napping expecting that I will wake her up!!! Really?? Some people are not for real....and it's always these people who will never be told either! My dog barks so loud when someone knocks on the door so if she is napping she's pretty sure to be woken anyway!!! Arrrrgghhh, so no, not unreasonable, and yes, VERY annoying and very rude IMO.

My OH wanted to do this to one of our friends the other day and couldn't understand when I said if he drove us there he would regret it!! ...we didn't go he is unfortunately one of 'them'!!!



 
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Old May 14th, 2013, 18:30 PM   8
Lulu
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My SIL did this quite a few times when my eldest was a baby. One particular time I was in the middle of changing my son's nappy upstairs and the doorbell rang. By the time I'd almost finished the doorbell had rung 3 times, so exasperated I open the window at the top of our stairs which is directly above the front door, there's my SIL standing at the door and says 'oh you are in, I was beginning to think you were sleeping'!!!

Right so if you thought I was sleeping why ring the doorbell 3 times

Another time she turned up just as I'd put my son down for his nap and sat for 20 minutes staring at the video monitor going, 'looks he's waking up' at every little wriggle. She then left in the huff because I wouldn't wake him up.

Some people are very insensitive to others needs and think that our children should be like performing monkeys, always available whenever they want to be entertained!!



 
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Old May 14th, 2013, 18:43 PM   9
MrsPMP
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you sound like you must be an awesome person to know if people are that interested to come see you! I'm lucky if I get a visitor come to my house once a month! But I would understand that the visiting so much could be annoying!



 
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Old May 14th, 2013, 20:21 PM   10
lomelly
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oh gosh that would annoy me to no end. I agree about putting up a sign, then when they ask at a later time why you didn't answer the door, you could say "I'm sorry, did you not notice my giant sign?"
I also never get visitors.. soooo unpopular



 
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