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Old Nov 10th, 2009, 00:42 AM   21
MrCheeseFreak
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Originally Posted by Mum2b_Claire View Post
I guess it depends on what you feel comfortable with. I know I am far more comfortable with Ruby having a dummy than the idea of controlled crying. Amongst other reasons I never allow Ruby to cry in her cot because I always wanted it to be her 'safe haven' with no negative associations.
For the first 8 weeks we tried to go without a dummy but Daisy would really struggle to get to sleep so eventually we caved in. It worked well for us but as it got closer to 3 months I wanted to wean her off it because I didn't want her developing a dependency on it. I felt like she was ready to begin self settling and so we gave it a try.

It's been three days since either of us had to go in after putting her down within our time limit now so I have no doubt that she hasn't developed any negative associations and in general I'm noticing her to be a lot less "needy" and fussy during the rest of the day. In general she seems a more content baby.

BUT, I don't claim that this method is one everyone should use and the best thing since sliced bread. I've been told by people many methods for many different things that worked brilliantly for them but when I tried them didn't work at all. I've come to realise that one persons method just becomes "another thing that didn't work for me".

So this might work for some but it won't work at all for others, people who write these books make it seem like they are the right methods no matter what but I disagree completely with that.

Nothing is right for all babies and all parents.



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Old Nov 10th, 2009, 01:00 AM   22
Lorien
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With all due respect to those mums who do what they feel they have to do, I have to advise that CIO is not necessarily advisable for any babies. Here is a compelling argument AGAINST CIO:

http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/

There is a lot of evidence for issues around sleep and CIO, and also better ways to get your baby to sleep that aren't so traumatic for mum and baby. There is lots of information on kellymom.com as well.

I guess what I'm saying is that if it feels wrong or hard to let your baby cry when they want you, then maybe it is wrong. Don't try it just because others say it's ok or because you feel it's appropriate for a baby to be on a schedule -- they are a BABY and you are a MUM and it is your job to comfort them through the night while they are tiny and helpless and need you.



 
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Old Nov 10th, 2009, 01:21 AM   23
MrCheeseFreak
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorien View Post
With all due respect to those mums who do what they feel they have to do, I have to advise that CIO is not necessarily advisable for any babies. Here is a compelling argument AGAINST CIO:


There is a lot of evidence for issues around sleep and CIO, and also better ways to get your baby to sleep that aren't so traumatic for mum and baby. There is lots of information on as well.

I guess what I'm saying is that if it feels wrong or hard to let your baby cry when they want you, then maybe it is wrong. Don't try it just because others say it's ok or because you feel it's appropriate for a baby to be on a schedule -- they are a BABY and you are a MUM and it is your job to comfort them through the night while they are tiny and helpless and need you.
Firstly, CIO is not the same as controlled crying, I don't think I'd ever use CIO and secondly I've already said that this isn't for all. Also, for us it wasn't traumatic at all.

Controlled crying is about helping your baby learn how to self settle and to learn to become less dependent in terms of needing to go to sleep. All the people I know who have used this method have got extremely confident and well balanced children who really enjoy going for naps and sleep at night.

I don't think controlled crying results in babies with need issues, I just think it is a method that doesn't work for all people and all babies - because nothing does. If it works then use it, if it doesn't then try something else



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Old Nov 10th, 2009, 02:42 AM   24
celine
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Just wanted to agree CIO and CC are very different, I barely let him go 5 mins or if I feel he is in distress I go to him immidiadtly.
My son now can self settle and I am so pleased I am an extremely light sleeper and hear him 'self settle' which is not crying but the odd grunt and shuffle then a sigh and a snore. And sometimes a fart or two as well. (from baby not me)



 
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Old Nov 10th, 2009, 02:54 AM   25
Plumfairy
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Ive got a question for anybody who has done CC with an older baby...

What do you do when they stand up and rattle the bars of the cot? No sooner do I lay Layla down she scrambles up and its a total nightmare to get her to sleep. As much as I loved co-sleeping when she was little, It just wont work now. I end up doing it in the night just so I can get some rest, but she just climbs all over me and neither me nor my partner can move in the night in fear of waking her when she eventually does fall asleep. Something definately needs to change.



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Old Nov 10th, 2009, 03:56 AM   26
Aidan's Mummy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorien View Post
With all due respect to those mums who do what they feel they have to do, I have to advise that CIO is not necessarily advisable for any babies. Here is a compelling argument AGAINST CIO:

http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/

There is a lot of evidence for issues around sleep and CIO, and also better ways to get your baby to sleep that aren't so traumatic for mum and baby. There is lots of information on kellymom.com as well.

I guess what I'm saying is that if it feels wrong or hard to let your baby cry when they want you, then maybe it is wrong. Don't try it just because others say it's ok or because you feel it's appropriate for a baby to be on a schedule -- they are a BABY and you are a MUM and it is your job to comfort them through the night while they are tiny and helpless and need you.
So why did my Health visitor and Doctor recomend it?? With Controlled crying you dont just let them cry it out. You go in at times intervals and comfort them

Is my baby detached?? Nope he gives me cuddles all the time

Has it affected our realtionship?? Nope in fact it has enhanced it as he is fresher in the morning and so am I.

Did my mum do it too me?/ Yep and My intellectual development hasnt been affected or emotinal or social.

Being a nursery nurse my self if there was any truth behind this article then we would have had training on it and Health vistiors would not be advising it


xx



 
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Old Nov 10th, 2009, 07:33 AM   27
MrCheeseFreak
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aidan's Mummy View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorien View Post
With all due respect to those mums who do what they feel they have to do, I have to advise that CIO is not necessarily advisable for any babies. Here is a compelling argument AGAINST CIO:

There is a lot of evidence for issues around sleep and CIO, and also better ways to get your baby to sleep that aren't so traumatic for mum and baby. There is lots of information on as well.

I guess what I'm saying is that if it feels wrong or hard to let your baby cry when they want you, then maybe it is wrong. Don't try it just because others say it's ok or because you feel it's appropriate for a baby to be on a schedule -- they are a BABY and you are a MUM and it is your job to comfort them through the night while they are tiny and helpless and need you.
So why did my Health visitor and Doctor recomend it?? With Controlled crying you dont just let them cry it out. You go in at times intervals and comfort them

Is my baby detached?? Nope he gives me cuddles all the time

Has it affected our realtionship?? Nope in fact it has enhanced it as he is fresher in the morning and so am I.

Did my mum do it too me?/ Yep and My intellectual development hasnt been affected or emotinal or social.

Being a nursery nurse my self if there was any truth behind this article then we would have had training on it and Health vistiors would not be advising it


xx
That poster didn't read the thread properly, we're talking about controlled crying not cry it out as she seems to think. Perhaps the mods can delete that post since the link is irrelevant and should go in a cry it out thread.



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Old Nov 10th, 2009, 07:50 AM   28
Jo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorien View Post
With all due respect to those mums who do what they feel they have to do, I have to advise that CIO is not necessarily advisable for any babies. Here is a compelling argument AGAINST CIO:

http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/

There is a lot of evidence for issues around sleep and CIO, and also better ways to get your baby to sleep that aren't so traumatic for mum and baby. There is lots of information on kellymom.com as well.

I guess what I'm saying is that if it feels wrong or hard to let your baby cry when they want you, then maybe it is wrong. Don't try it just because others say it's ok or because you feel it's appropriate for a baby to be on a schedule -- they are a BABY and you are a MUM and it is your job to comfort them through the night while they are tiny and helpless and need you.
This is not a thread about CIO, it is a thread about CC, which are 2 completely different things.

So please can we not start any arguments about CIO as this thread has gone along nicely and on topic.
I don't want to remove posts but if any arguements break out I will have to do just that



 
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Old Nov 10th, 2009, 09:07 AM   29
Sarah+
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So back to Controlled Cyring, does anyone have any good info/experience about how many minutes you should wait before you go in, depending on age of child etc? When you go in, is there anything in particular that you do? Or just whatever comforts them?



 
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Old Nov 10th, 2009, 09:29 AM   30
steph1505
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This may sound like a silly question...but can you do controlled crying if baby still sleeps in the same room as you? x x x



 
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