Forum Rules

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Feb 4th, 2018, 02:19 AM   1
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: gloucester
Posts: 230

How do you know when you are done???

Hi, so I have a 2 year old boy and a 14 week old little girl. Weíve had a rough history with struggles to get pregnant and losses. Weíve also recently brought our house which has three bedrooms.
I guess I just kinda feel done, I hated being pregnant as I have to have extra scans throughout, and the I just find the whole thing seriously stressful. And struggle to cope.
I think I would be happy to leave it at 2 but itís such a big decision isnít it? Iím also really fed up of pumping hormones into my body, as that is what caused the whole infertility thing in the first place. So would want something non-hormonal but long term.

Status: Offline
Old Feb 4th, 2018, 02:50 AM   2
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: wolverhampton
Posts: 6,025
The copper coil doesnít have hormones in and it lasts 5 years.
I have 3 boys I feel done but still a part of me thinks maybe one more even tho I donít really want any more Iím finally enjoying getting a bit of me back. For once there getting older and Iím not pregnant or have a new born things finally seem to be getting easier. I really would love a girl though but Ino thatís not guaranteed I think more than likely weíre done but I donít think the feeling of wanting one more will leave me x

Status: Offline
Old Feb 4th, 2018, 03:57 AM   3
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Dorset, UK
Posts: 9,576
We always knew we only wanted 2. I'm due #2 any day now and am 37. I know I'm done after this one and he hasn't even arrived yet. Planning to get my tubes tied in the autumn time once things settle down a bit. I've had lovely smooth pregnancies and (so far) a lovely smooth natural birth. But we just never wanted 3 and I want to make sure that doesn't happen. Our cars can only comfortably fit 2 children and we have a 4 bed house, but need space for a home office, so only 2 bedrooms for children. And our first is 5, so once this one is old enough to be a bit more independent, we're ready to have a bit more adult time and to travel and have an easier life without the exhaustion of small children. So it's partly practical for us as we don't want to make the life changes to make space for a third, but also just we have always known this was the plan and are both quite happy with that. I don't think I could see myself having #3 at 40. So I think when you know you just sort of know. If you don't, just leave the option on the table until you're sure you know.

Status: Offline
Old Feb 4th, 2018, 07:11 AM   4
Pregnant (Expecting)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Scotland
Posts: 5,816
After my daughter was born i was 100% convinced i didnt want anymore. Her dad always wanted 2 and although i never felt broody for another baby i did like the idea of having 2 children. The timing had to be right though so we waited until my OH got a more family friendly job and my DD was old enough to have some independence. I have just had my 2nd, a little boy and i am 10000000% done. Definitely no more, as i say i was never broody for another and in all honesty dont really enjoy the newborn baby bit so now i am just looking forward to the future and him getting bigger and being a play friend for my DD.

So for me, I just know i dont want anymore and thankfully my OH completely agrees. I was tempted to have my tubes to be tied during my last section but the midwives said they'd be reluctant to do it since i am only 31 which was slightly annoying.

Status: Offline
Old Feb 4th, 2018, 10:18 AM   5
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Idaho
Posts: 9,755
Before I had my daughter I was 100% sure I was done after her. But now that she is here I do have those urges to have another one. However, my DH is pretty set against it. And I honestly think my change of mind is coming from the thoughts of being done with this chapter and I'm not quite ready to accept it. I'm hoping as my pp hormones settle and we get into a routine the desire will go away again.

Status: Online
Old Feb 4th, 2018, 18:59 PM   6
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 667
DH and I always agreed on two. For a while we were even strongly considering being one and done. Now we have two little boys and though I feel nostalgic and sad when I realize I'll never be pregnant again, I also accept that that part of my life is over and I was lucky it was such a lovely experience. Now I get to focus on raising my boys. Even people who have large families have to have their "last pregnancy" and "last baby" one day! And I know that a third pregnancy would be hard -- I don't want to gamble with birth injuries, with complications and serious health issues that could upend our life. (I know that these things can happen anyway of course.) And I know that with our finances, future plans, and energy/outside interests, two kids is about the limit for me and DH. We were never big-family or even medium-family people, we're content with two. So ultimately it's a pretty easy decision for us both.

My younger DS's birth was pretty great and at the time, just the excitement and intensity and wonderfulness of that pregnancy/birth/newborn phase, I kept thinking maybe I'd have another. But now he's almost seven months old and I feel totally fine with two.

Status: Offline
Old Feb 4th, 2018, 22:33 PM   7
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,054
We had always thought we would only have one child, then only a few weeks after she was born I started feeling broody. By the time she was four months old I knew I definitely wanted one more, even when we were in the throws of the four month sleep regression and I felt like I was being tortured by my baby, I still wanted to have another! After my second was born I never had a single second of wanting another baby, he is 7 months old and I haven't been broody at all and I know 100% that I am done with my two. Not to mention that we wouldn't have enough bedrooms in our house, room in our car, or the finances to travel and do fun things if we had a third. Also I'm 35 and my OH is 43 so we are both feeling too old to do this again.

Status: Online
Old Feb 6th, 2018, 15:43 PM   8
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central scotland
Posts: 2,378
I used to get really sad at the thought of not having any more so hubby and I were at WTT. We agreed we wouldn't have any more until my sister got pregnant as she was having trouble and going through fertility treatment but now her baby is due in 13 weeks and I'm now at the stage of not wanting any more. I've given away the baby box that held the nappies/wipes/creams and so for my 2, given away lots of their baby clothes that I held on to for so long and I'm not even sad about it. Our car is big enough for 4 of us, we have a summer holiday booked this year and plan on Disney world next year which wouldn't happen with a new baby. We have got to a new stage in life that a new little one would be welcome in but it just feels right the 4 of us.

Status: Offline
Old Feb 9th, 2018, 01:06 AM   9
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 5,905
For some women i honestly think they never feel done.

I have 2 close together (11 months) then decided we wanted another but just let it happen and we had her when my 2nd was 2 years 4 months. I felt absolutely done. My husband had a vasectomy 7 months ago and the relief with getting that knowing there was no more babies was great. We got a letter a few weeks ago saying the vasectomy might have failed and iv felt weird ever since imagining a 4rth. We wont. But i think knowing you can can in itself make people a tad broody

Status: Offline
Old Feb 9th, 2018, 01:57 AM   10
BnB Spammer Elite
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 45,502
I have 4. Definitely done now. We use fertility tracking and that's it. I don't like any interference with my cycle and the coil is non hormonal but still 'there's. Once you track cycles it's so easy to know when fertile.

I am Always broody but really content with life that won't mess it up.

Plus, teenagers are HARD

Status: Offline


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search