Hi ladies can someone please talk me through what i should do to start a routine?
my mental health, my relationship and the relationship with dd1 is all suffering
Maisie is 5 weeks, great baby during the day, but just doesnt sleep enough

this is what i did last night, pjs feed and swaddled in basket at 9pm, she went straight to sleep, awake at 11pm, hubby fed her a wee bit she wouldnt take much, woke at 2.30 back down at 3.30am, stirs at 4.30am woke at 5.50am and thats it, she just wll not ever ever sleep longer, shes full of beans ready to play, wide awake,
I am just utterly exhausted, im dizzy forgetful, teary, and short tempered,
I adore my LO but i feel at the end of my rope i cant figure out how to get her to sleep until 7am
do i keep her awake during the day (doesnt slep much ) 20 mins here or there,

shes formula feed xx

Hun i know it is hard.. i remember it well! i would say for a 5 week old her sleep routine is quite good! my son did not sleep half as good in the night!
I expect in a few weeks she will be sleeping better.... I should not worry to much about a routine..she will work her own out in no time at all. Try and get as much rest as you can when she is asleep,hard i know with another child to look after aswell. I thought i would never get sleep again lol... make sure your OH is supporting you, you are doing a great job

Sorry havent got much advice, and i know it sounds like a cliche- but it does get easier! In my experience trying to keep my LO awake during the day has no affect on the night sleep. She will gradually increase her nighttime sleeping as she gets older and more active. Keep with it, and make sure u rest and sleep when she does during the day, and try to keep thinking there is a light at the end of the tunnel

thank you , i know i sound ungrateful, my example is of a good night, she can often wake every hour grunting straining, its so lonely when your up for most of the night, I cant even chat to LO as im trying to keep things calm and quiet! lol

your probably right, i guess when you live it 5 weeks is long but she'l t hopefully settle soon, i just feel i have no idea what im doing, i start of feeling confident, "we are going to have a good night" but as soon as she wont settle after a feed at night after an hour...i feel like a failure, and end up on the living room with her sleeping on the sofa

thanks again i just dont feel i have a clue what im doing xx

Do you keep things dark and quiet when she wakes up? Does she have a dummy? Im just trying to find out what you do before i offer my advice! xx

Hi hun,

You actually sound like you're doing fantasticlly well! You need to give yourself a bit of a break. At 5 weeks, you shouldn't expect her to sleep for any longer than 4 hours - any more is a bonus - in one go. It sounds like you've got a good bedtime routine and if you continue to do as you are doing she will soon start to associate the night time routine with night time sleeping.

At 6 months, my LO still wakes up twice a night, but will settle down immediately after a feed. He goes down at 7 and is awake anytime from 6am (5.45 this morning! ) so I can sympthise completely on the lack of sleep front. My advice to you, that I really wish I had followed myself when Earl was younger, sleep when they sleep. I still do this if it's been a rough night when he is asleep I take myself to my bed with him in his cot and we have an hour's sleep - much better after that and you feel like you're not missing out. (works well when it's his first nap of the day at around 8am, so everyone is still in pyjamas lol) Once you get to 6-8 weeks the whole thing seems a lot less daunting and your LO will start to find their own little groove.

Another thing I was told that helps you at 3am, enjoy those moments where you're all alone, cuddled up together. Earl is not a cuddly sort anymore, but at that age he would happily sit in my arms for up to an hour, and I will admit that I miss that. Now the only time I get cuddles is when he's not feeling well or when he wakes for a feed at night. Make the time count and really take everything about her in.

You're doing a fab job, and it does get easier. Keep on going, and congratultions on your LO.

I think we've all felt like we have no clue what we are doing, I know I sure did. Sounds like you are doing everything right. It just takes time for babies to get used to sleeping at night time. It's no consolation when you are completely knackered but it will get better. For the first few weeks (maybe longer as due to sleep deprivation I can't remember that time very well) I spent the night on the sofa with LO. She will also grow out of the grunting and straining eventually. Darwin hasn't done it for a while now.