Hi Ladies,

First post in Baby Club

Mia is now 11 days old, she is breastfed but extremely clingy, mainly with me. She feeds for up to 1hr at a time and is very content, she comes off the breast herself and has a full tummy so I know its not my milk, as soon as she is placed down in a carrycot/cot/swing she SCREAMS blue murder until she is picked up again (I have so far spent over 2hrs this evening trying to settle her). As soon as she is picked up it stops.

I feel like she is too young for controlled crying and I have sat here sobbing my heart out listening to her on the monitor before going back up.

I tried settling her at 7pm downstairs, she will go to sleep but when I go back up at 10pm to feed her she wont go back to sleep, out of the last 3 nights I have had 3hrs, 2 1/2 hrs and 4hrs sleep. I dont get to rest during the day as I have a 4year old and Mia feeds every 2-3hrs

What is upsetting is that she will settle much better for my husband (as he hasnt got the boobies) but he is back to work tomorrow and doesnt finish til 8pm

Any advice is really appreciated just to know that someone else has been through this and Im not the only one going insane from sleep deprivation!

Thanks xx

Hi Jollygood000! congratulations on baby Mia.

I don't really have any advice other than my little girl was the same (she's now 23 months). From the second she was born she couldn't be put down without screaming. I don't know what to suggest other than to say I feel your sleep deprived pain! Things only got better with us around 4 months old when I used sleep training to get her to go to sleep on her own (NOT using CIO but pick up put down). Before that she would be breastfed to sleep and have to sleep on my chest all night - she wouldn't even lie beside me in the bed.

I have had similar amounts of sleep since Parker was born (5 days ago) and get no rest during the day as I have a 23 month old to look after too. I'm so tired it hurts and he's only 5 days old now! Remember you're not alone xxx

Congrats on Mia.

Welcome to motherhood

She's only young if she cries I would just cuddle her. You can't spoil a newborn IMO & at 11 days old she's still getting used to the big wide world

Don't have much advice except just remember she is still so little and it will pass. Have you tried swaddling ? Don't worry about forming bad habits if you cuddle her ... she is too young for that.

SHES 11 DAYS OLD!!! I think you may have answered the question!. Amari still screamed when she was put down up until she was 10weeks old!, And now shes more than content sitting on her own for a while, although she still wont settle to sleep for anyone else!... Sometimes they just need mummy, and whilst i realize its difficult as you also have a 4YO, To make life easy on yourself you are going to HAVE TO INVEST IN A SLING! it was my saving grace!

After learning that i was going to just have to follow what my child did and wanted, She now sleeps from 10pm (she stays up until we go to bed) until 10am, feeds every four hours for 15mins, and quite frankly i have an easy life..so it does get better!

good luck. and seriously invest in a sling, it allows bubs to be close and you to get on with things..

Dont be too hard on yourself, she was only born 11 days ago, and listening to her cry will not help and will only upset you!

When you are putting her down, to her arms go out (moro reflex)?
Like this:
http://medicalimages.allrefer.com/large/moro-reflex.jpg

What I would suggest is swaddling her, then feeding her, then putting her down while in her swaddle. It may help, esp b/c she is only 11 days and really misses the tight/secure feeling of the womb. Good luck.

Definitely swaddle/wrap her. At 11 days old she's still trying to adjust to all this new space!!! She's been a cramped little baby for the past 9 months...so swaddle her nice and secure. Stick with it hun, I know it seems overwhelming right now but things will ease. There's some great baby books out there to help with settling, Babylove, Save Our Sleep etc.

You can also introduce a pacifier (although if you haven't already then perhaps try everything else first). Also a "good" comforter is a good idea....A teddy top (those teddy's with just the head and a little blanket from the neck down) or a small piece of blanket/muslin wrap. Put it down your shirt for a few hours and then pop it beside LO when you put it down so she can smell you still.

It will get better hun, you're hormones are crazy right now too which is making you must more emotional

Definitely try swaddling if you have not already. And to be honest, I held Nolan pretty much 24/7 for the first 4 weeks of his life. I would sleep inclined and he would sleep on my chest. He hated/still hates being on his own. It is definitely too young to do any kind of controlled crying, I believe its not recommended until 6 months. Good luck and congrats on your LO!

as the others have suggested, try swaddling, although its not uncommon for them to just want you for a while youre their protection and their warmth and they feel safe with you - shes jut too tiny to realise she is fine without you too!

for during the day though, and if swaddling doesnt work - try a sling. You can breastfeed in them too xx