My LO is 5 months. He is finding it hard to self settle at the moment and I would really like to help him to do it.
is leaving him to cry for 10 minutes ok? He normally goes to sleep after this but at this moment in ti£e he has now been crying for 15mins, drifting off to sleep and then crying again. Do I leave him? If I shush him, pat him etc it just makes him worse.
I would advise you to wait until the recommended 6 months before using CIO. I used it when LO was just over 6 months and it worked very well for us. I didn't leave her to cry for longer than 10 minutes though
At 5 months, babies are too young to CIO. I'm not here to say never use CIO, but I do firmly believe it is an absolute last resort and there are many things to do before using it. The majority who advocate it (as appleblossom states) is 6 months - there's a big mental difference between 5 + 6 months
Is the baby going through a developmental milestone? How many weeks is the baby? Is the baby teething? Is the baby fussy because of stimulation? Separation issues? Is this something new or has the baby always been like this and after 5 months, you are tired of it? If it's completely new, I would think something developmental is going on. What about pick up put down? controlled crying?
How long has this been going on? Have you tried every other option before doing this?
So many questions I'm sorry! Mine is a very fussy baby, always has been, and not the greatest of sleepers so I understand wanting to do it - but again, it's a last resort.
To answer your actual question, "how long" depends on who you ask.
All doctors recommend it as a quick temporary (ie. that moment) if you are upset, stressed, cannot cope and need to put the baby down due to being unable to compose yourself.
Some doctors say to never do it at all unless circumstances are extreme (ie Dr Sears)
Some doctors/ sleep trainers recommend other methods first, pick up put down, CC first, but acknowledge that a bit of crying will happen (ie sleep sense)
Other doctors (Weissbluth) will say up to 30ish minutes at a time (a proponent of CIO)
So you are asking a loaded question I suppose Only YOU can be the judge, as mom
I think 10 minutes is an okay amount of time IF your baby is falling asleep after that. However, if your LO is waking up after 15 minutes, crying for another 10, etc etc, then I recommend just getting your LO out of bed. When my LO does what you describe, she's usually just not ready to go to sleep yet. I can either have her crying off and on for hours, or just get her up and try again when she is more tired.
So, my advice is to not force the issue. Whining a bit when tired before conking out is different from being unhappy off and on for hours.
OK I must be a bad mum,have been leaving lo to cry since he was about 8 weeks,my rule is to leave him no more than 20min. I didn't realise I xas doing cio,had never heard of it till few weeks back. He generally is asleep by 20min. I can tell by his cry if he is crying for a reason other than he is upset to be missing out and I always check on him once he Is quiet. HE is a v good sleeper and self settler if he does wake in the night. I know when he acries when he Is first put down its cos he hates missing out! LAst night when at in laws he woke a few times and cried but fell back asleep afteg a few min. My lo is v chilled out and content so I don't think its done him any harm x
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