Feeling horrible, Bad mommy moment, so upset and feeling guilty!!! :(
So last night was a good friends 50th birthday party. We had been invited weeks before and I was thinking should I get a baby sitter or take little one for an hour to say hi and then come home ???
Well as I have had PND and still don't think I have fully got over it yet although I am feeling much better about things. I couldnt bear to leave little man as only done it twice so far and that has been for 2 hours each time. Me and OH decided to take him just stay for an hour to say Hi and then go.
It didnt happen like that ...
We got there and straight away little man freaked out at the flashing disco lights, he was so scared I had never seen him that scared in my life!!! He was so upset I thought maybe I would try to cuddle him and reassure him that it was ok but that didnt work so I took him into the toilets and sat with him in there where it was quiet to try and settle him down but he just cryed held onto me so tight and I felt awful. I stayed in the toilets with him for 20 mins went back into the suprise party to say Hi as I had missed the suprise arrival and just said sorry to my friend but I would have to leave because I felt awful that my baby boy was so scared and upset and it was all my fault.
So I have learnt now that in future if we get an invite I won't be taking him or I just wont be going at all. I feel so guilty and I kept appologising to my baby boy. Second we got home he was all smiles and hugged me and chatting away but I still felt so bad that I had put him through that trauma!
Am I a bad mom? I knew he might be scared at first but thought he would settle after 10-15 mins I honestly never thought he would get that bad !
You are not an awful mum at all - you weren't to know that would happen!!!! You did what was best in a bad situation and got your little man home. He obviously still thinks your fab if he was all smiles when you got back.
Nooo that's not a bad mum moment! You wouldn't have known that would happen - TBH Finley loves bright lights and stuff so I'd have gone myself without a second thought in your situation. A bad mum moment would be you deciding he'd be alright and plonking him down on the dance floor with some smokey bacon crisps while you went in search of vodka. Don't be so hard on yourself - you did nothing wrong! x x
You're not a bad mum, you weren't to know he would be so upset by it all! I'm sure that some babies would have been ok with it, so it's not like you should have known. The important thing was you calmed him down and took him home - that's what he needed, and that's what you did x x.
You're NOT a bad mum at all. I would have done the same thing you did. Don't feel guilty, you had no idea he was going to react like that. It could have gone the other way and he would have loved the disco lights. I wouldn't rule out doing it again in the future, perhaps when he's a little older.
the thing is I honestly thought he would like it after 10-15 mins of getting used to it all because he LOVES flashing lights and loud music at home so thought maybe he would be a little scared at first then come round to the idea. But he really wasn't having any of it. My OH kinda wound me up abit by saying Oh I suppose we will go home then after only being here half an hour and not even having a drink ... but I couldnt care less that our night out was ruined I just wanted my little boy to be happy!
Of course your not a bad mum! The fact that your so worried about it shows that. Try not to beat your self up about it you had no idea that he would react that way n was probably just a shock for him, it's good that he gets accustom to different experiences as he won't be able to avoid all flashing lights and loud noises forever, and like you said you took him away from it when he was in distress and was smiley and happy when you got home so It couldn't have been that bad for him and he's probably forgotten already, may be just keep exposing him to small amounts at a time to get him used to it for the future, eg buy a disco ball for him to explore, and don't worry soon he will be one of those children legging it around the disco floor and chasing the light x
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