I always thought that when I had a baby I would try my best to make sure he/she was independent and slept ok on their own if need be and didnt become dependant on me, but I see myself slacking now he is here, I get so tired I cant sleep well coz little man is BF and has me up between 1-2 hours each night then I sit for as many of you may know upto 40mins or more Sometimes he goes back in the cot and starts to grizzle I know I should ignore him but I get him out and feed again, or he will get the hiccups and I know that this will lead to him getting in a state as he hates them to I get him up and latch him on, In the day time I feel shattered and I feed him and he falls asleep in my arms, I then think I will settle him in his cot and rest myself, he sleeps better in his bouncer in the day but I prefur the cot as it has a angelcare movement mat....So I settle him, he does a few reflex things with his arms and wakes up, then cries, im so tired I think stuff it and feed him when he settles I put him in my double bed by my side my arm under the pillow and his head on it and we both crash out

I feel bad because one..It may not be safe to fall asleep in my bed like this?
and two I will get him into bad habits
He is 4 weeks now, do you think he will learn all this and know how to play me? oooooops

I did all the bad habits in a desperate attempt (feed to sleep, bounce, swaddle etc) and he outgrew them when he was ready. Sounds like he really needs a swaddle, he has a strong startle reflex. I spent 3 months with a non-sleeping baby to try and prevent 'habits' when really I should have done it all!

Don't worry about manipulation until they are at least toddlers It's a lot easier to say no to a whining older baby than it is to a newborn who is still struggling to adjust to life outside the womb At least it's easier for me!

Have you tried swaddling him? Just when you said he does a reflex thing with his arms and wakes up, swaddling him may help?

Can't offer BF or co-sleeping advice though xxxx

^^^I agree with Aliss. And I was going to suggest a swaddle, too. My baby shakes and don't even think of trying to get him to sleep lying down, unswaddled.

Don't worry about trying to make him independent while he's still so tiny. He's so new to the world and he needs you at the moment. The rest will come later.

Swaddling sounds like a good suggestion. If you want to cosleep, please look up some guidelines of how to do it safely.
http://www.babyfriendly.org.uk/pdfs/...bedleaflet.pdf
http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/0...eeping-safety/
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html

Don't worry too much about co-sleeping! The HV and midwife said to me that it's virtually impossible to roll over and suffocate your LO without realising (unless under the influence of something etc) - we co-slept with Stephen for the first week, then he went in hsi own bed and we co-slept if he woke up/in the mornings! We still co-sleep in the mornings/nap time He's only a baby for a while -so enjoy the cuddles whilst you can!

Thank you all for your replies. I use sleep bags in the cot as I don't like to use blankets. Im sure I saw that Argos sold a swaddle blanket tho can't find it now. Does anyone know who sells them cheaply? I don't wanna use normal blankets worries me. Thanks x x