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Old Aug 1st, 2011, 13:54 PM   31
k4th
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiraelliott View Post
Oh yeah... Most HV's are the devil. lol.

xxx
this is so true!



 
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Old Aug 1st, 2011, 14:22 PM   32
Cattie
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Things I'd have told myself:
You might not have had a child before, but your child has never had a different mother so as far as she's concerned you're doing it right.

Babies haven't read the books, and all do things their own way.

Wondering what the hell you've done, not loving every single second, pining for your old life etc doesn't make you a bad mother, it makes you human. Don't underestimate how big a life change it is.

If you can find a mother and baby group (most Surestart centres have them) in the area, try and go along toward the end of your pregancy. Often other new mothers are the best people to show you how breastfeeding really works, they can give you more hints and tips, and it's MILES less lonely after the birth when you already know other people who haven't slept in a week, are also covered in sick and will still come out for a coffee.

The first 6 weeks are the longest 6 weeks of your life...but it is ONLY 6 weeks. Keep breathing and you'll get through it, even though there are times you do wonder.

Your baby might decide she doesn't really like sleeping for any length of time. You're very unlikely to be doing anything wrong. (I wasn't far off battering the next person who told me to sleep when she slept to death with a dirty nappy.) BUT do take those ten minute bursts to do something beneficial to you, even just having a quiet cup of tea.

If you discover that the hoover sends the baby to sleep, there's no shame in leaving it on in the corner whilst you have another cup of tea or a sandwich.

Breastfeeding is so much harder than anyone will let on (I thought it should be easy and that I was a failure for wincing every time LO woke up because it hurt). Ask for help, take it when offered, find other mums who breastfeed so you don't feel so alone the first time you do it in public.

In all likelihood if you do breastfeed, you will have a baby attached to you for more or less the entire evening. This is cluster feeding, it's not them being a bugger, it's not comfort sucking. They're just topping up the tank so they can sleep a bit longer, and telling your body to make more milk.

Early doors, don't feel bad about just staying in bed with the baby, some DVDs, a packed lunch and a drink. It's good for both of you.

Get OH to make you a packed lunch before he goes to work so you definitely have something to eat.

If you think there's something wrong with your baby, say so. (It took me three months to have LO's reflux diagnosed because I thought they'd tell me I was being silly.)

Sheesh! There's more, I'm sure! Thing is, you'll be so sleep deprived you'll just get on with it without thinking. Trust your instincts and every time it gets difficult remember 'this too will pass'. It's scary how quickly they grow up, so try and enjoy it as much as you can. Best of luck xxxx



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Old Aug 1st, 2011, 14:40 PM   33
Gemie
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I was very surprised at the feelings I got after having poppy, she was so unvelievably wanted and tried for. but I struggled to say the least, I wondered what id done, i wanted to run awsy and escape all responsibility, totally fell to bits. My oh was amazing, totally took ovet let me sleep when I wanted and even did a couple of full nights for me.
I ended up going to the docs and being put on antidepressants. That's something to remember, pnd is very real and not something to be taken lightly if you nred help, sdk for it, accept any help offered. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Poppy was and still is golden, that will make it feel worse but believe me, it does get bette
r.
I wasn't ready for all the emotional upheaval at all and wish someone would have told me, I did have a lot if trauma tuning up to the birth and her birth was very quick and traumatic too I think that's why I suffered so bad. I also had a massive age gap between children and took it so much better when I wad younger.
Just thought i'd let you know, take it in your stride and do your best, you'll love bring a mommy
I'm now back to ad normal as posible and love being a new mommy again.

Excuse typos I'm on my phone! X



 
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Old Aug 2nd, 2011, 07:36 AM   34
BabyBoo36
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Babies can be incredibly noisy at night - Freya squirms, farts, snores and generally behaves like the Tasmanian Devil for 30 mins before she wakes up properly!

There is nothing wrong with leaving them safely on a playmat or changing mat for 10 mins while you sit down - Freya will lay there kicking wildly and gurgling for about 20 mins before she gets bored.

Be prepared for countless people offering you "advice". Remember, you don't need to take it, just smile sweetly, say "Thanks" - and then do your own thing!

Set firm boundaries with OH while you're still pregnant. We decided we wanted no visitors the day of the birth, or the day we came home, and told both sets of grandparents this. We also agreed that if my family were causing the problem, I would speak to them, and OH would speak to his. Thankfully, both sides have been fine.

Take any support you can if you are hoping to BF, as it isn't always easy. Unfortunately I couldn't BF, but as I express, I still get a weekly phone call from the BF volunteers in our area, and it's invaluable.

Don't spend a fortune on toys (think this has already been mentioned). Freya is only just bothering with the rattles my mum bought her. She will, however, spend ages staring at herself in the mirror on her playmat! (Vain child!)

Don't spend a fortune on nappies before babe is born - we did to discover Huggies don't fit Freya well - we now have 88 size 3 Huggies which will prob not get used when she's big enough for them!

Join every babyclub going (Tesco/Asda/Boots etc) The vouchers you get can really help with money off nappies/wipes etc.

Muslins are a godsend! Bibs are too big for Freya, and as she feeds like a boxing shark (all thrashing head and waving fists) I can pin her arms down in the muslin and get the bottle somewhere near her mouth!

xxx



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Old Aug 2nd, 2011, 08:12 AM   35
Whisper
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Sleep deprivation nothing can prepare you for this - i do believe its a form of torture in some countries! LOL You WILL get through it.

Feeling hopeless and crying all the time in the beginning like there is nothing to look forward to, its normal although it doesn't feel like it at the time. Even being scared to be alone with baby once your OH/mum/sister whoever isn't there, thats normal too and you WILL manage but it is scary in the beginning.

Don't try and be a supermom you will wear yourself out, make sure you are eating enough and sleep when baby sleeps (don't do chores), if you are B/Fing drink lots and then some more.

If you want to pick baby up to cuddle to sleep do it, its your baby they are only this young for such a short time.

I find it good to remember when my LO is crying and i don't know what to do next or if someone tells me not to cuddle him to sleep etc he will want it all the time.

Babies this young ONLY have NEEDS not wants, they are not capable of wanting something only NEEDING IT.

I can't think of anything else right now. x



 
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Old Aug 2nd, 2011, 08:22 AM   36
xvmomovx
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I wish someone had told me what a pain in the tush visitors would be while in the hospital. For #2 there won't be anyone allowed there at all. They can come to call when I am home and ready.



 
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Old Aug 2nd, 2011, 12:00 PM   37
emme
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The one thing that I wish I prepared myself for was 'what if I can't breastfeed' I have always known that breastfeeding was what I wanted to do, so much so that when i couldn't I had no clue what to do, I felt like an utter failure and kept crying everytime I looked at my baby cause I felt so guilty, looking back I shouldn't have tormented myself as much as I did, my baby is growing very well and is very happy. I can't get back those moments I spent in self pity when I should have been enjoying my wonderful precious new baby xx



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Old Aug 2nd, 2011, 14:02 PM   38
cissyhope
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don't get a tommee tippee sterilizer,they are crap



 
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Old Aug 2nd, 2011, 14:11 PM   39
Whisper
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cissyhope View Post
don't get a tommee tippee sterilizer,they are crap
which type do you have? I have the electric steam steriliser and think its fab.



 
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Old Aug 2nd, 2011, 14:43 PM   40
Tiffa130
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Trust your instincts. I got so much conflicting advice from the nurses about breastfeeding that I got stressed out. What LO was doing was working for her/us & she gained weight really well so it was pointless to have worried & stressed for no reason.

It's ok if you don't cry it doesn't mean you aren't still overwhelmed
by emotion.

Everyone has advice and some is good but a lot is bad. Trust your instincts!



 
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