Hey girls jus need to hear sum o ur views on this....

So im only taking 6 months maternity, goin back in Feb/March, my partner works a a postman so he's finished most days at 3, his mum is a childminder an so will b looking after r daughter wen i go back to work.

However today i was thinking bout the reality of me goin back to work, i will leave the house at 7:30 (cn sasha for her feed an change) drop sasha off at her grans an partner will pick her up on his way home at 3 i will get home at 6 and c sasha for bout 30 mins inbetween making t, as she will b goin to bed pretty early by then. I also work late on a tuesday so wont c her then an i had planned to go back to hockey once a week which would mean another nite not cn her (think this will have to b scrapped!) I wanted to look into the posibility of working part time but my partner thinks this is stupid as we will have less money.

(we both earn a pretty decent wage and r comfortable at the min all bills get paid an we have cash left over for wotever we want really within reason! lol)

My partner likes to have surplus money every month an i understand this but i dont know wot to do i feel like im goin to miss so much of sasha's life bein at work full time, an because his mum is goin to b looking after sasha an cos he finishes work early he doesnt c wot the problem is???? its just me thats going to suffer!!!!???? argh neone got ne advice??? xxx

If its to pay bills, then thats more important, as you need to keep a roof and security for your little one. On the other hand if you have surpless each month, maybe reduce hours and work part time, if you can afford it?

It is amazing the things we spend money on that we don't actually need. I would suggest the 2 of you sit down and discuss the budget... you would be amazed with what you can actually live on.

IMO, its best to stay home (if you want to) than have extra fun money.

Working part time is the way i want to go but oh jus cant c the need!! he would rather have the money each month, he wants to buy the other half of our house which means an increase in monthly payments, this isnt completely necessary its just a good time to do it, but id much rather live off a slightly lower wage for a couple of yrs then do it?? ugh dont know wot to do, dont know wether im just bein selfish cos sasha will have her dad everyday from 3pm onwards so its like he works part time? (but he just starts really early! works full time hours seems like the ideal job to ave with kids!! jealous! lol)

I survive on 1 day a week working and a little extra help from income support. To be honest I have enough money for what I need, and the little extra I have left over goes into savings every month (saving for a deposit). The saving is a slow process but I adore staying at home with my daughter. Working 1 day a week (at the moment, will make more days as time goes on) is really good for me as I get a kind of 'break' from the constant day in day out of bum changes and bottles but I get to socialise as well, I work in a tattoo studio and deal with so many friendly people every day. I think at the moment I have evened everything out so that it is the perfect balance for my life. I think if you sit down with your partner and talk about this and how it will benefit you and your daughter if you only go back part time, or even just do mornings. Because it is true, you don't realise how much money you spend on things you don't need or use! xx

If you need to work to pay the bills then you need to work. You need to keep a roof over your childs head, fed, and clothed. You don't need "fun" money, but you need to work to cover the necessities and support your family.

After that I think it's important to spend as much time as possible with your family. But I also think it is important to not give up everything that makes you "you".

If possible, honestly, I would give up the late Tuesday night at work. And still go to hockey. That way you get some you time to do what you enjoy and you don't feel overwhelmed because you're always in work mode/mom mode with no time to yourself. Spend every second with your LO on the weekends (or whatever days you have off).

Could you push her bedtime/wake times around a little bit so that you get an hour with her in the evening?

My view is if you can still afford to pay the bills and not work then do that as you will never get that time back with your LO. That is providing you want to be a SAHM. I am hoping to work maybe 15 hours a week and stay at home the rest.

Each to there own though but I am sure your LO would rather you look after them than own your house. There is plenty of time for all that in the future!

xxx

I agree with the other ladies, if you can afford what you need with you working part time then maybe negotiate with your oh on cutting back hours enough so that you can get a good work-life balance

I have a little bit of a different view than most of the other posts, I think that you should always have a little extra money saved away, not necessarily fun money but I'm a big fan of 3 months of income saved up in case there is an emergency (loss of job, injury, etc). I also want to have money saved so that we can take little one on a vacation every year & start saving for his college. For me this means that I work, my husband earns plenty to pay the bills, but I like having the extra money around. For me I also want the social interaction & stimuli from work, and my mother is very excited to be the caregiver for 3 days per week while both hubby & I are at work.

I have this dilemma too, all of OH family want me to go back to work but I want to stay at home, Im hoping to go back part time or full time but work from home a few days. We do need the money but we have managed to survive on my statatory maternity pay ok so I think we can have a drop in income.

We only get this time once with our LO and will probably go back to full time once he is a few years old - and by then hopefully I will have another one