Could not have said it better!

i have to say that although lo has changed our lives we still manage to do alot of the things we used to do (with the exception of all nighters!) mil is wonderful and as lo is her first grandchild she loves to babysit so we still get to go out once or twice a month but we do all stay at her house. we managed a weekend away last week and have some nights out planned in run up to Christmas... i think babies change your lives as much as you allow them to and in my experience the change is always for the better... babies bring with them all kinds of fun its just a different kind of fun to what we are used to...!

I can kind of see their point. It's one thing when they're a newborn and you have to just drop everything to meet their needs as and when, but when they get a bit older and more adaptable, then I don't really believe that they need to be the ones who dictate.

It's a question of compromise. You shouldn't have to drop all your needs and other responsibilities. I see people who become absolutely consumed by motherhood and in my case, anyway, that wouldn't be healthy for me. I need to put myself first sometimes, once I'm not neglecting Lily to do so.

I completely agree with this!

I think you can "fit baby in with your life" to a certain extent....it just takes more planning. Whereas before kids, we would say "should we go to cinemas tonight?" Now it's "should we go to the Cinemas a week on Fri if we can babysitters?"

Hey

Haven't read all of the replies, so just responding to your first post.

I would say that it totally depends upon the baby.

My first 2 children completely fitted in around mine & DH's lives - they came everywhere with us & slept when ever & where ever. They were such calm, content little darlings, they would go down in their moses baskets, then later into their cot or sleep when out & about, smile & chat happliy to anyone while in their pushchair - life was so easy!

Now, however with my third LO (now 13months old), life is very, very different. He rules the roost, our days are dictated by him! He is a very needy, clingy, non-sleeping, angry (for want of a better word) little man.
I know that people say that we spoil him as he sleeps with me in bed, or on the sofa, I carry him everywhere etc, etc, but it's not a case of spoiling him, it's a case of trying to stay sane - the constant screaming everytime I try to move a metre away from my boy is enough to send anyone crazy.

Perhaps you neighbours child is like mine. Some babies NEED that constant attention, it's really annoying when people think that I've made my LO this way. I didn't it's just the way he is and for an easier life it's better for me to try to fit around him than him fit around me.

I've just read all the response so ETA: I very much doubt that many people truly believe that their lives won't change when they have a baby - I think it's pretty obvious that having a baby will change your life & sacrifices should and have to be made. But I think people on here are taking the term a little too literally & yet again judging other's ways of parenting!

So for clarification of what I meant: Some babies fit in very nicely with the parents previous routines. Some babies don't, in which case the parents have to work more around the baby. Neither is wrong. And unless you walk a mile & all that, you cannot really comment. Some people can continue more or less as they did before having children & some cannot. It's not right or fair to assume that a baby fitting in with the parents life is at the expense of the child.

I do 'kinda' see her point. My LO does fit into my life. Of course I am altering things for her, but whilst she is tiny and doesnt have an opinion I do things which I enjoy in the hope that she too will enjoy. Once she can voice an opinion then she will probably require my life changing more.

I decided to bring her into my life, not the other way around, so I can hardly complain if she's distrupted it! She has, very much so, but I bloody love it and wouldn't change it for the world. I find it ridiculous that anyone would even have a child if they wish to keep their old routine. X

I agree with a pp - my fil babysat Isabelle last week and when we got back, he told us he had let her cry because she was playing tricks - every time he picked her up she stopped crying. How can a three month old baby play tricks??? Maybe if she was a year or something but not three months!

I do think its a generation thing though. We were all mostly brought up to CIO and aren't any the worse for it.

Alex is crafty. He "manipulates!" me into giving him anything.


Oh, wait, THAT'S WHAT HAVING A BABY MEANS!!!!! Taking care of a little person that relys on you completely.

I echo Aliss. Don't have kids if you don't want your life to change.

exactly!!

ive sick of being told not to keep picking LO up etc! had friends say when she was a few weeks old "you aren't picking her up all the time and spoiling her are you"!!!!!!!!????? er no, I will leave her screaming in hunger or for comfort instead shall I!
I dont get the whole needing to prove you are boss, be tough with your baby, dont let them manipulate you etc its like everyone wants a baby but for nothing to change, poor little babies!!