Wrong to ask for Money for LO's 1st Birthday?

ExpectingK · Dec 27th, 2011, 10:01 AM

My dd will be 1 (eeek) on 19th Feb. We've been inundated with toys / books / clothes for her over Christmas and I've already bought a few toys for her birthday.

She doesn't really 'need' anything for her birthday given that it's so close to Christmas. I have a wardrobe full of 12-18mth things for her.

Would it be wrong to ask for money to go into a savings account? Am I likely to offend people? I literally can't think of anything, I'm even regretting getting more toys - didn't quite expect how many she'd be given for Christmas! Silly me.

Anyone have any suggestions for gifts? Have you bought something for you lo to keep long-term (I'm thinking jewellery).

Ideas welcome.

amygwen · Dec 27th, 2011, 10:03 AM

I don't think it's rude at all. Just be prepared that some people may not want to give money but may give gift vouchers or may bring clothes/toys even though you asked for money.

**AtomicPink** · Dec 27th, 2011, 10:04 AM

i would suggest it, rather than ask, and explain she has so much x

Lellow · Dec 27th, 2011, 10:04 AM

To be honest, id find it extremely difficult to ask for money as a gift, unless im asked what i prefer, otherwise i just wouldnt say.
Unless however its a close friend/family in which case thats fine in the main...

Palestrina · Dec 27th, 2011, 10:11 AM

Instead of asking for money can you call it a college fund? It sounds much nicer to say "LO has more toys than she knows what to do with! She does have a college fund in her name though at the bank, care to help it bloom?" or something like that.

TigerLady · Dec 27th, 2011, 10:15 AM

I do this for my kids for every ocassion. They both have savings accounts set up and I always say, "You can get them whatever you'd like, but more than anything else, they could use money for their savings accounts for college. They already have so much stuff."

Most of the time it doesn't work.

My Dad is really good about doing it, but he still gets them toys, too. My MIL will also get a load of toys for them in addition to some money for their accounts. Everyone else ALWAYS gets them toys and/or clothes.

But it doesn't stop me from trying.

hot tea · Dec 27th, 2011, 10:21 AM

I agree that there are tactful ways of asking. I like the idea of calling in an education fund, and really stress the that she has A LOT of toys. Not rude at all.

Jem88 · Dec 27th, 2011, 11:10 AM

I was thinking the same but maybe asking for gift cards instead of money (LO doesn't have a savings account yet.) As it's her birthday on 11th feb and she has loads of toys and clothes to last her until she's 2 lol.

pinkycat · Dec 27th, 2011, 11:20 AM

My LO is 1 on 18 Feb. when all the family came round on xmas day and saw all the HUGE piles of clothes and toys everyone said they would get her vouchers or money as she really doesn't need anything. i didn't ask they all just said it. i don't think its rude i would hate to buy something and it be wasted x

lisaf · Dec 27th, 2011, 12:15 PM

Technically, from a strict ettiquette standpoint, it is never ok to 'ask' for gifts of any kind let alone money.

If people ask you what to get, you can suggest things, always prefaced with 'she really doesn't need anything but we would appreciate anything you would give her.' Then maybe suggest the college fund. Even though you have an abundance of stuff, books and clothes are still a good gift and some people will insist on giving something to be opened.

My friends actually insisted on no gifts at all for their daughter's first birthday and everyone seemed to respect that.

Dec 27th, 2011, 10:01 AM	#1
ExpectingK Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Isle of Wight Posts: 373	Wrong to ask for Money for LO's 1st Birthday? My dd will be 1 (eeek) on 19th Feb. We've been inundated with toys / books / clothes for her over Christmas and I've already bought a few toys for her birthday. She doesn't really 'need' anything for her birthday given that it's so close to Christmas. I have a wardrobe full of 12-18mth things for her. Would it be wrong to ask for money to go into a savings account? Am I likely to offend people? I literally can't think of anything, I'm even regretting getting more toys - didn't quite expect how many she'd be given for Christmas! Silly me. Anyone have any suggestions for gifts? Have you bought something for you lo to keep long-term (I'm thinking jewellery). Ideas welcome.

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Dec 27th, 2011, 10:03 AM	#2
amygwen Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: San Antonio, Texas Posts: 9,581	I don't think it's rude at all. Just be prepared that some people may not want to give money but may give gift vouchers or may bring clothes/toys even though you asked for money.

Status: Offline

Dec 27th, 2011, 10:04 AM	#3
AtomicPink Mum (Mom) BabyandBump Team Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 27,351	i would suggest it, rather than ask, and explain she has so much x

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Dec 27th, 2011, 10:04 AM	#4
Lellow Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 12,105	To be honest, id find it extremely difficult to ask for money as a gift, unless im asked what i prefer, otherwise i just wouldnt say. Unless however its a close friend/family in which case thats fine in the main...

Status: Offline

Dec 27th, 2011, 10:11 AM	#5
Palestrina Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: New York, NY Posts: 3,658	Instead of asking for money can you call it a college fund? It sounds much nicer to say "LO has more toys than she knows what to do with! She does have a college fund in her name though at the bank, care to help it bloom?" or something like that.

Status: Offline

Dec 27th, 2011, 10:15 AM	#6
TigerLady Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a Cave Posts: 24,274	I do this for my kids for every ocassion. They both have savings accounts set up and I always say, "You can get them whatever you'd like, but more than anything else, they could use money for their savings accounts for college. They already have so much stuff." Most of the time it doesn't work. My Dad is really good about doing it, but he still gets them toys, too. My MIL will also get a load of toys for them in addition to some money for their accounts. Everyone else ALWAYS gets them toys and/or clothes. But it doesn't stop me from trying.

Status: Offline

Dec 27th, 2011, 10:21 AM	#7
hot tea Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Vancouver Island Posts: 4,415	I agree that there are tactful ways of asking. I like the idea of calling in an education fund, and really stress the that she has A LOT of toys. Not rude at all.

Status: Offline

Dec 27th, 2011, 11:10 AM	#8
Jem88 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Cumbria, UK Posts: 3,363	I was thinking the same but maybe asking for gift cards instead of money (LO doesn't have a savings account yet.) As it's her birthday on 11th feb and she has loads of toys and clothes to last her until she's 2 lol.

Status: Offline

Dec 27th, 2011, 11:20 AM	#9
pinkycat Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: manchester Posts: 1,611	My LO is 1 on 18 Feb. when all the family came round on xmas day and saw all the HUGE piles of clothes and toys everyone said they would get her vouchers or money as she really doesn't need anything. i didn't ask they all just said it. i don't think its rude i would hate to buy something and it be wasted x

Status: Offline

Dec 27th, 2011, 12:15 PM	#10
lisaf Other BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: California Posts: 15,135	Technically, from a strict ettiquette standpoint, it is never ok to 'ask' for gifts of any kind let alone money. If people ask you what to get, you can suggest things, always prefaced with 'she really doesn't need anything but we would appreciate anything you would give her.' Then maybe suggest the college fund. Even though you have an abundance of stuff, books and clothes are still a good gift and some people will insist on giving something to be opened. My friends actually insisted on no gifts at all for their daughter's first birthday and everyone seemed to respect that.

Status: Offline

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