OK so its not until December that I go back but was just discussing with hubby about me changing my hours - it went down like a lead balloon - here is what I do currently:

6am - 2pm - in London - but I drive there so I leave literally 5:15am and get home for 14:45 ish pm.

When I go back I am hoping to drop a Friday so will mean working 4 days a week split between a child minder who comes highly recommended and whose next door neighbours bubba's use - so there will be a sense of familiarity plus my mum.

This is what I am considering changing to:

7pm - 1am x 4 days a week.

Basically this will mean me leaving at 6pm and getting home around 1:40am. I sleep as soon as I hit the pillow so there will be no down time - I shall be tucked up in bed by 2am.

This will mean no child minder no mum - but 100% me.

I see it as a no brainer but just tried to have a conversation about it and hubby said no and that by the sounds of it I have already made up my mind. Working these hours brings back horror stories to my hubby as his first wife worked evenings/nights and their relationship deteriorated. But I believe that we are stronger than that and its not like I will be working through the night - just getting home late.

What would you do - please convince me that I am right and he is wrong - I just feel this way I get to see Harry all the time - and by the time I leave it will almost be his bed time xxx

Sounds like a no brainer to me too hun, just as long as you remeber to have regular time together ... meals etc

Are you ok with going to bed so late? If you're good with a few hours kip a night then i would say go for it!

I can survive on 6 hours sleep - so was figuring that even if harry was up at 6am - I would have had 4 hours straight plus I will nick a couple of hours in the day when harry has a kip. The more I think about it the more I am really wanting to do it. I even said to hubby that he wouldn't have to take harry in the morning anywhere - because I will be here. I just think that me having harry all the time is more important than spending a few hours in the evening with hubby. I know it sounds tough but I can't help how I feel and I am sure there are a lot of mummies that would agree with me xxxxx

Sounds like a good idea I think! So you would still have 3 nights off a week? Is oh off these nights as well? What about suggesting a date night every month/fortnight on one of your nights off?

Hubby has his own business so is home anywhere between 4pm and 6pm - I don't have to leave till 6 but I would only be working 4 nights a week so yes 3 nights off - plus I tried to sell it to him that he wouldn't have to get Harry ready in the mornings as I would be there - my pay would dramatically be reduced but the pluses are obviously me being with harry 100% of his time, no congestion fee which will save me around £150 per month - no child care costs which would save me £150 - my salary would be reduced by £800 per month but to me its still a no brainer - I shall talk it over with close friends who have been in my predicament and who also had the opportunity of working different shifts just to see what worked for them. I still have 8 months of maternity leave to go ... and am already dreading leaving him - so I guess the feelings are going to get worse xxxx

TBH that sounds like really hard work to me and I can see where your OH is coming from, especially as he's had experience with similar before, as it sounds like you'll barely see each other for the four days a week you are working and I assume when you get in at around 2am, your OH will be fast asleep. Would you get any relaxation time during the four days you are working? I find looking after LO a hard, busy day and couldn't imagine then having to go to work at the end of it. Would you cope if LO went through a phase of waking through the night/early morning and maybe not having the opportunity to nap during the day?

Of course everyone is different and only you know how you cope and how much sleep you can survive on but it might be worth thinking through various scenarios to imagine how you would feel.

Thank you for this. I will definitely talk to my friends who worked various shifts etc. my mum said to me 'in a couple of years harry will be going to pre school and school' - the only god send is that I will be home by 3pm so will at least get to spend 4 hours with bubba and the evenings with hubby. I do worry about the sleep part of it tbh - I know I survived the lack of sleep when harry was newborn but I knew that this phase would quickly pass - me working those hours wouldn't be a phase it would be for a long time - so thank you for this perspective - hubby hasn't brought it up today lol and won't entertain any part of this xxxx

I currently work:

Sunday 7.45-14.45
Mon-Wed 14.45-22.15

I only live 10 mins drive/30 mins walk from work, and when I took the job I thought it would work a lot better for me than 9-5 that I had been doing. As it stands, I don't get enough sleep (granted I'm PG so slightly different) and I don't feel like I see LO enough despite technically being at home more. He spends 2 afternoons per week at a CM and the rest of the time I'm at work, hubby is with him.

Prior to this I used to work 9-5, Mon-Fri and we worked nearly 2 hours away from where we lived, and this was entirely unbearable tbh. It's whatever works for you, and as long as you're comfortable with it, then it's worth a go. BUT, my big caveat would be that no job is worth jeopardising your family life for. Money can be obtained through a lot of means, and if you do give it a go and it's not a go-er then it's no catastrophe.