Dont want my FIL to take my baby out the house - Page 2

nickyXjayno · Mar 4th, 2012, 05:00 AM

where my baby goes I go.

Ozzieshunni · Mar 4th, 2012, 05:07 AM

Two months old is FAR too young to be dragged hither and yon. Stick to your guns and don't feel guilty.

I still hate Alex being gone from me and he's almost 8.5 months old.

MummyinJune · Mar 4th, 2012, 05:10 AM

I still hate it and my lo is 8 months!!
Im starting to feel a bit more comfortable with it now, by leaving him in the house with them but not even for an hour.
Im ok with my mum though, but still not keen.

mummyruston · Mar 4th, 2012, 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 17thy

I'm confused. It's your father in law. Why in the hell would it be his baby by default. Let me tell you right now there is no way in HELL I would have someone take my 13 week old daughter out of my home without me present (unless it was my husband). I would absolutely say no, and tell him to shove it if he has any issue with that.

I totally agree! No way!y LO isn't going anywhere without me until at least 6m and that's because u return to work

I'm sorry but mums word is final!! U go or nobody goes!!

AmethystDream · Mar 5th, 2012, 06:57 AM

Tell him that it isn't urgent and that should need be, you and DH will take LO. When you decide to.

You aren't being unreasonable. Him feeling entitled to your child, and guilt tripping you for saying no, are huge red flags. FIL needs to learn his place is Grandfather and nothing more.

CLH_X3 · Mar 5th, 2012, 12:00 PM

Just say no!

LannieDuck · Mar 5th, 2012, 12:52 PM

My baby's been out of the house without me twice so far:

i) OH and I went out for a walk with the ILs two weeks after the birth and I came home a little early because I was still recovering
ii) OH took LO to the shops when I had a bad cold two weeks ago to give me some time to myself

You'll notice both times I wasn't with LO, OH was.

Do you have your OH's support? If so, it doesn't matter what FIL thinks.

seoj · Mar 5th, 2012, 13:04 PM

I would say your not comfy being away from LO... leave it at that. If YOU don't take her to visit... they why would he? LOL. I guess I just can't imagine either my MIL, FIL or MOM taking my LO away for the day to visit family? If family wants to see my LO, then they can visit me... OR... I can take LO to them. Period.

I could maybe understand if it was a situation where FIL was watching LO and made a quick trip to someones house (but if you can go, then he should assume you would).

I can also understand why you'd have more concerns about driving after what happened to you (especially if you don't trust his driving). So do what YOU are comfy with- regardless of what FIL thinks. May not be easy- but he needs to respect your wishes no matter what he feels.

Best of luck!!!

londonangel · Mar 6th, 2012, 02:30 AM

Why on earth would he think he can take your baby without you being there? She's your baby, not his baby! No way would I let ANYONE except my husband take our baby anywhere on their say so. I let my father drive with her in the car and I would let my mother, or my mother-in-law or father-in-law drive with her in the car. They are all safe drivers. But... I wouldn't let them just take her without me, just because they decided they wanted to and I know they wouldn't ever ask to take her. There is no way I would let someone drive my daughter around if I thought they were a dangerous driver or that they might drink and drive. I would stand up for myself if I were you - it's totally unreasonable of him to act as though your child is his property. She's really young too. My daughter is eight and a half months and I still wouldn't let anyone just 'take her'!

skc22 · Mar 6th, 2012, 03:22 AM

I wouldn't let it happen if it were me! No-one takes my baby off me. I have only left her once to run to the shop for 5 minutes. To be honest, I won't even let OH take her out without me there (and now I sound like a control freak

). It's your baby, your rules.

Mar 4th, 2012, 05:00 AM	#11
nickyXjayno Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Swansea Posts: 1,814	where my baby goes I go.

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Mar 4th, 2012, 05:07 AM	#12
Ozzieshunni Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 19,286	Two months old is FAR too young to be dragged hither and yon. Stick to your guns and don't feel guilty. I still hate Alex being gone from me and he's almost 8.5 months old.

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Mar 4th, 2012, 05:10 AM	#13
MummyinJune Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 1,443	I still hate it and my lo is 8 months!! Im starting to feel a bit more comfortable with it now, by leaving him in the house with them but not even for an hour. Im ok with my mum though, but still not keen.

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Mar 5th, 2012, 06:57 AM	#15
AmethystDream Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Merseyside, UK Posts: 1,214	Tell him that it isn't urgent and that should need be, you and DH will take LO. When you decide to. You aren't being unreasonable. Him feeling entitled to your child, and guilt tripping you for saying no, are huge red flags. FIL needs to learn his place is Grandfather and nothing more.

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Mar 5th, 2012, 12:00 PM	#16
CLH_X3 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 5,253	Just say no!

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Mar 5th, 2012, 12:52 PM	#17
LannieDuck Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: London, UK Posts: 703	My baby's been out of the house without me twice so far: i) OH and I went out for a walk with the ILs two weeks after the birth and I came home a little early because I was still recovering ii) OH took LO to the shops when I had a bad cold two weeks ago to give me some time to myself You'll notice both times I wasn't with LO, OH was. Do you have your OH's support? If so, it doesn't matter what FIL thinks.

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Mar 5th, 2012, 13:04 PM	#18
seoj Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 8,626	I would say your not comfy being away from LO... leave it at that. If YOU don't take her to visit... they why would he? LOL. I guess I just can't imagine either my MIL, FIL or MOM taking my LO away for the day to visit family? If family wants to see my LO, then they can visit me... OR... I can take LO to them. Period. I could maybe understand if it was a situation where FIL was watching LO and made a quick trip to someones house (but if you can go, then he should assume you would). I can also understand why you'd have more concerns about driving after what happened to you (especially if you don't trust his driving). So do what YOU are comfy with- regardless of what FIL thinks. May not be easy- but he needs to respect your wishes no matter what he feels. Best of luck!!!

Status: Offline

Mar 6th, 2012, 02:30 AM	#19
londonangel Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 1,467	Why on earth would he think he can take your baby without you being there? She's your baby, not his baby! No way would I let ANYONE except my husband take our baby anywhere on their say so. I let my father drive with her in the car and I would let my mother, or my mother-in-law or father-in-law drive with her in the car. They are all safe drivers. But... I wouldn't let them just take her without me, just because they decided they wanted to and I know they wouldn't ever ask to take her. There is no way I would let someone drive my daughter around if I thought they were a dangerous driver or that they might drink and drive. I would stand up for myself if I were you - it's totally unreasonable of him to act as though your child is his property. She's really young too. My daughter is eight and a half months and I still wouldn't let anyone just 'take her'!

Status: Offline

Mar 6th, 2012, 03:22 AM	#20
skc22 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 602	I wouldn't let it happen if it were me! No-one takes my baby off me. I have only left her once to run to the shop for 5 minutes. To be honest, I won't even let OH take her out without me there (and now I sound like a control freak ). It's your baby, your rules.

Status: Offline

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