It's quite a common belief for older generations at least, but the concept of 'spoiling' a baby is founded in beliefs that an infant has the emotional/intellectual/social capacity far beyond what they actually possess It ignores fundamental aspects of biology, like very early weaning or sleep training newborns/babies going through growth spurts.

To the OP:

It's easiest for most of us to work on a time in/time out system. 2 minutes doing your work, 5 minutes play with baby, 2-5 minutes cleaning or whatever, 5 minutes with baby, back and forth, it takes time but it helps them understand a bit better.

Kai's the same Lina!
He pulls himself up to standing on everything! The sofa, the coffee table, the TV unit, everything and its a complete nightmare haha
thanks for the responses ladies! I do believe Kai is spoilt because he knows if he cries he'll get picked up and put on the floor to play, so he does that, babies are alot smarter than we give em credit for

His natural instinct is to explore his environment for his brain development. Being stuck in a walker or highchair limits his opportunities to do that, so crying is the only way he can communicate that need. Is there any particular reason he can't crawl on the floor while you're working or eating?

Screaming when you take things away from him is simply frustration. If you were holding something really interesting you would be upset if someone just took it away. It's not him being spoilt, he just doesn't have any way to say "excuse me, I was looking at that and learning a lot from it, please may I have it back?". Try not to take things away in a snatching manner unless it's really necessary, you could ask him to give you the object instead (might require you to practice passing games first). Distraction is also great so give him something he can have instead.

Personally I wouldn't move him if he is standing up or holding onto the sofa. Yes, he might hurt himself sometimes, but he'll never learn if you don't let him.

I think you can spoil a baby. Rella is totally spoiled, today she was playing really happily on the living room floor with her toys while I dusted and hoovered and the SECOND I left the room she cried, and then stopped as soon as I came bak in.

I'm in the same boat as you- don't want to listen to her cry but don't want to pander to every little thing because I'm worried I'll make her worse.

She also has temper tantrums if she doesn't get what she wants where she literally screams and makes her limbs all stiff.

I wouldn't call it spoiling as well, but I also don't think you really do not have to give in all the time either. Sometimes letting them cry is neccessary .I had to let my son cry because he hated the car seat. he had to learn to get used to it .I did everything for him before I put him in a car seat - breastfed, changed his diaper, made sure he was comfortable (clothes, temperature,etc.) when he still wasn't satisfied, I had to ignore it and drive where I needed to go.

I'd go for a moveable play pen, this is what I did with my son

A baby crying when you leave the room or take toys from them is not being spoilt.

They cry when you leave the room because they don't understand that your coming back. They think you have abandoned them and with out mummy then they wouldent survive.

And as for when something was taken from them how would you feel if some one came up and took your laptop for no reason and said you can't have it back with no explanation you would be pretty pissed off to. It's no different for a baby. They cannot understand that it's a choking hazard or it's easily broken and they can't say, errrmmm I was playing with that, their only form of communication is crying.

If crying when your frustrated is being spoilt then that's every pregnant or pms'ing woman out there that's spoilt too.

^^^this is not being spoilt it's part of her development...as a young baby they have no awareness of who you are how far away you are etc but as they begin to develop and form attatchments and relationships they also start to get some spatial awareness however what they don't understand is that if you leave a room that your going to come back...the best thing to do is play peepo or a game where you hide but reappear as they will begin to understand that mummy goes but does come back. It's only like a lamb bleating for it mother...your baby just wants to know where you are as you are there everything in order for them to survive!

I would definitely try the play pen if you have room for it. If you don't have space for a playpen you could use a travel cot and put some toys in it for him, so he still has that bit more space and has something to play with - I visited a friend on Sunday and she does that for her little boy :-)

You mention that there are times he can't crawl like when you're doing coursework - I'm assuming that takes longer than 5 or 10 mins so I would expect even a baby who likes the highchair/walker to get frustrated. Isobel didn't like being put into the highchair very long, or bumbo, etc, so I just used them for a few minutes when I really couldn't do a job any other way. Most of the time though I just let her crawl.

Personally I would make the room generally safe (obviously nothing is 100%) and let him free. So long as you're in the same room keeping an eye out that's fine.

I would also let him cruise the furniture. There might be dangerous surfaces you want to avoid but the sofa is the perfect thing to cruise along. Isobel also cruised along the coffee table etc so we have a "no hot drinks on table" rule. Cruising is a really vital part of development, if he's not allowed to do it then he won't learn to walk. Yes he will fall over but thats all part of the learning, Isobel falls over countless times every day but she's used to it and I don't panic so it doesn't bother her - in fact sometimes she laughs at herself!

In general, I did start using "no" with Isobel at about 5 months. I don't ever use it for her crying, at 6 months all her cries were for a good reason even if I couldn't always tell what it was. By about 8/9 months she started crying if she wasn't allowed to do something like chew the remote control etc, but I just ignore it for a few moments then distract her, but I don't give in. I say "no" in a firm voice and take away the item or move her away from the fire etc - once she learnt her boundaries I only have to say "no" and she stops - though she may cry!