Do you think people should stay together for the sake of the kids? - Page 2

ValentinesGal · Mar 13th, 2012, 08:15 AM

I agree with pp's: Happy home = Happy family. Shouldn't stay in an unhealthy relationship for the sake of keeping it together for the kids because it may unintentionally teach them that that is the norm for relationships, thus they may end up in unhealthy relationships way later down the road. Also agree you shouldn't make any quick decisions so early after having a baby, especially if PND is at play, but follow your heart and do what will make you the happiest.

lilyanne · Mar 13th, 2012, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunnie1984

Also just realised that your baby is only a month old, so just take some time to make sure you don't have the post baby blues, or even worse, PND before you make decisions you can't take back.

x

I agree with this. How long is "a while" you haven't been in love with your partner? Small children are really stressful and the hormones of pregnancy and post baby, not to mention the lack of sleep can be trying on any relationship.
I don't think people should stay together for the kids. However, I think it is important for couples to do their best to try and work it out whenever possible. Do you think this might just a rough patch that you both need to get through? If nothing else, keep it civil when things do end for the sake of the kids.

charleosgirl · Mar 13th, 2012, 09:31 AM

Nope, if you don't love your partner your child will sense that. It would be messy but in the long run everyone deserves happiness and if you are staying with someone for your children and not because you love them you are cheating not only yourself but your children as well.

Cattia · Mar 13th, 2012, 09:35 AM

I don't think so but I do thonk you need plenty of time after a baby to get your relationship back in shape. It took us about ten months after having DD to stop bickering and start feeling like we were before, and second time round was about the same! You need to start getting yoir sleep back and being able to get out and make time for one another and all that can't happen straight away, certainly not dor the first six months in most cases.

Laucu · Mar 13th, 2012, 09:42 AM

I remember when I was a kid wading into one of my parent's arguments and telling them to get divorced! They didn't until I was 18 - thought they were doing the right thing by waiting until I'd moved out of home. I wish they'd done it sooner as they are both so happy now. I was loved and looked after but must admit I was pretty unhappy and turned into a bit of a cow when I was a teenager because of it.

I agree with PPs that it is an emotional time right now - all sorts went through my head when I was 1-2 months postpartum.... but if you really aren't happy and it isn't just a blip whilst you get used to new baby, then you need to make a decision - either fix the problems with your partner and fall in love again, or separate....

Mar 13th, 2012, 08:15 AM	#11
ValentinesGal Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Indiana, US Posts: 1,552	I agree with pp's: Happy home = Happy family. Shouldn't stay in an unhealthy relationship for the sake of keeping it together for the kids because it may unintentionally teach them that that is the norm for relationships, thus they may end up in unhealthy relationships way later down the road. Also agree you shouldn't make any quick decisions so early after having a baby, especially if PND is at play, but follow your heart and do what will make you the happiest.

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Mar 13th, 2012, 09:31 AM	#13
charleosgirl Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Canada Posts: 1,275	Nope, if you don't love your partner your child will sense that. It would be messy but in the long run everyone deserves happiness and if you are staying with someone for your children and not because you love them you are cheating not only yourself but your children as well.

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Mar 13th, 2012, 09:35 AM	#14
Cattia Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Hampshire, UK Posts: 6,751	I don't think so but I do thonk you need plenty of time after a baby to get your relationship back in shape. It took us about ten months after having DD to stop bickering and start feeling like we were before, and second time round was about the same! You need to start getting yoir sleep back and being able to get out and make time for one another and all that can't happen straight away, certainly not dor the first six months in most cases.

Status: Offline

Mar 13th, 2012, 09:42 AM	#15
Laucu Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: UK Posts: 1,092	I remember when I was a kid wading into one of my parent's arguments and telling them to get divorced! They didn't until I was 18 - thought they were doing the right thing by waiting until I'd moved out of home. I wish they'd done it sooner as they are both so happy now. I was loved and looked after but must admit I was pretty unhappy and turned into a bit of a cow when I was a teenager because of it. I agree with PPs that it is an emotional time right now - all sorts went through my head when I was 1-2 months postpartum.... but if you really aren't happy and it isn't just a blip whilst you get used to new baby, then you need to make a decision - either fix the problems with your partner and fall in love again, or separate....

Status: Offline

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