Please help. Overbearing MIL - Page 2

Lauki · Mar 15th, 2012, 04:23 AM

Please don't let her take your LO to stay. You are clearly not happy with the idea. Tell your husband that you don't care if HE thinks you're overreacting. This is how you feel and those feelings are completely normal. Ask any woman on here and they'd say the exact same thing. We would all feel just like you!!!

Maggs · Mar 15th, 2012, 04:27 AM

Wow!

I can't imagine. I thought mine was bad enough. I don't know what to suggest if your OH isn't on board with saying something to her.

Lauki · Mar 15th, 2012, 04:46 AM

If my OH would be like that and try to 'force' me to leave my baby overnight, I would pack mine and babies stuff and move in with my parents until he'd start to respect my wishes and feelings.

xCeex · Mar 15th, 2012, 04:51 AM

I just really don't know what to do.

We we're supposed to be going down his way to meet up with his friends and go for dinner, but since she's been nagging him he doesn't wanna go and his excuse is 'we don't have the money' all of a sudden thats the case. Now the plans changed and we're going to his mothers house for the day, which I'm dreading all her friends and her smothering my baby whilst I sit there like an idiot.

Lauki · Mar 15th, 2012, 04:57 AM

Are you still breastfeeding?

I used to use that as an excuse to go sit in a quiet place for 45 minutes or so to feed Sophie if I needed some time for just the two of us

.

mummyruston · Mar 15th, 2012, 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauki

Are you still breastfeeding?

I used to use that as an excuse to go sit in a quiet place for 45 minutes or so to feed Sophie if I needed some time for just the two of us

.

I use that

linzylinz · Mar 15th, 2012, 05:14 AM

seriously the reason your feeling like this is because your instincts are screaming out to you that your baby needs to be close to you and you need to be close to your baby.
your not being a pshyco your feeling exactly like you should do. please do not let her take over or bully you into letting her have her over night it will just stress you out. you should be bonding and enjoying lo not worrying about how everyone else feels.

you only get this bonding time once its hugely important for you and lo DO NOT LET ANYONE RUIN IT FOR YOU. you will just regret that you didnt stand up for yourself if you dont nip this in the bud now xx

im not good at wording things without sounding rude so hopefully someone else could give you advise on what to say to oh and mil that will come across not in a rude way but in a you mean buisness way xx good luck

Pielette · Mar 15th, 2012, 05:23 AM

Personally I'd just politely thank her for the offer and if a situation comes up where you may need it you'll let her know as and when. That way you aren't telling her maybe when she's x months old, because I'm willing to bet if you did that she'd count down the days and remind you of what you said. My mum is the only person I trust with my son (other than my husband of course) but even she hasn't had him overnight - why would she need to unless we were going away for a weekend or something? Absolutely pointless.
As for the birth video, that HORRIFIES me. That is beyond inappropriate and a major line has been crossed. I would politely say 'i didn't want it to be videoed so please delete it.' if she gets funny about it you'll have to get more heavy-handed but I'd start slow for now.

xCeex · Mar 15th, 2012, 05:34 AM

tbh ive had enough of her, and Im not one for tip toeing around people but for my o.hs sake i have done so. But its all getting on top of me now and I am going to flip.

Its all spinning around in my head and I feel violated. I hate the women, and I know me and o.h are going to have many arguments over her.

stouffer · Mar 15th, 2012, 05:46 AM

Filming you giving birth is out of order beyond belief! And then offering to have someone else put it on DVD?! What is she thinking. What a horrible intrusion on a completely private moment.

It sounds like she has lost track of who the mother is and obviously has no idea or thought for your feelings.

You absolutely need to bring all this up with her but you need to explain this all to OH and get his support.

Mar 15th, 2012, 04:23 AM	#11
Lauki Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Rugby, UK Posts: 4,736	Please don't let her take your LO to stay. You are clearly not happy with the idea. Tell your husband that you don't care if HE thinks you're overreacting. This is how you feel and those feelings are completely normal. Ask any woman on here and they'd say the exact same thing. We would all feel just like you!!!

Status: Offline

Mar 15th, 2012, 04:27 AM	#12
Maggs Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Canadian living in Scotland Posts: 2,437	Wow! I can't imagine. I thought mine was bad enough. I don't know what to suggest if your OH isn't on board with saying something to her.

Status: Online

Mar 15th, 2012, 04:46 AM	#13
Lauki Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Rugby, UK Posts: 4,736	If my OH would be like that and try to 'force' me to leave my baby overnight, I would pack mine and babies stuff and move in with my parents until he'd start to respect my wishes and feelings.

Status: Offline

Mar 15th, 2012, 04:51 AM	#14
xCeex Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 944	I just really don't know what to do. We we're supposed to be going down his way to meet up with his friends and go for dinner, but since she's been nagging him he doesn't wanna go and his excuse is 'we don't have the money' all of a sudden thats the case. Now the plans changed and we're going to his mothers house for the day, which I'm dreading all her friends and her smothering my baby whilst I sit there like an idiot.

Status: Offline

Mar 15th, 2012, 04:57 AM	#15
Lauki Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Rugby, UK Posts: 4,736	Are you still breastfeeding? I used to use that as an excuse to go sit in a quiet place for 45 minutes or so to feed Sophie if I needed some time for just the two of us .

Status: Offline

Mar 15th, 2012, 05:14 AM	#17
linzylinz Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 310	seriously the reason your feeling like this is because your instincts are screaming out to you that your baby needs to be close to you and you need to be close to your baby. your not being a pshyco your feeling exactly like you should do. please do not let her take over or bully you into letting her have her over night it will just stress you out. you should be bonding and enjoying lo not worrying about how everyone else feels. you only get this bonding time once its hugely important for you and lo DO NOT LET ANYONE RUIN IT FOR YOU. you will just regret that you didnt stand up for yourself if you dont nip this in the bud now xx im not good at wording things without sounding rude so hopefully someone else could give you advise on what to say to oh and mil that will come across not in a rude way but in a you mean buisness way xx good luck

Status: Offline

Mar 15th, 2012, 05:23 AM	#18
Pielette Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Essex Posts: 3,083	Personally I'd just politely thank her for the offer and if a situation comes up where you may need it you'll let her know as and when. That way you aren't telling her maybe when she's x months old, because I'm willing to bet if you did that she'd count down the days and remind you of what you said. My mum is the only person I trust with my son (other than my husband of course) but even she hasn't had him overnight - why would she need to unless we were going away for a weekend or something? Absolutely pointless. As for the birth video, that HORRIFIES me. That is beyond inappropriate and a major line has been crossed. I would politely say 'i didn't want it to be videoed so please delete it.' if she gets funny about it you'll have to get more heavy-handed but I'd start slow for now.

Status: Offline

Mar 15th, 2012, 05:34 AM	#19
xCeex Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 944	tbh ive had enough of her, and Im not one for tip toeing around people but for my o.hs sake i have done so. But its all getting on top of me now and I am going to flip. Its all spinning around in my head and I feel violated. I hate the women, and I know me and o.h are going to have many arguments over her.

Status: Offline

Mar 15th, 2012, 05:46 AM	#20
stouffer Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Posts: 2,299	Filming you giving birth is out of order beyond belief! And then offering to have someone else put it on DVD?! What is she thinking. What a horrible intrusion on a completely private moment. It sounds like she has lost track of who the mother is and obviously has no idea or thought for your feelings. You absolutely need to bring all this up with her but you need to explain this all to OH and get his support.

Status: Offline

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