Please help. Overbearing MIL - Page 6

ttcmikeandme · Mar 15th, 2012, 18:02 PM

I see why you are upset, but to me your MIL for the most part doesn't sound like anything outside of the normal MIL who wants to see her grandchild. You haven't told her no, so how do you expect her to know that baby/you aren't ready for babysitting time?? You can't expect her to be a mindreader. The video thing is obviously off and wrong, but why would your OH not have stopped her from doing it? I just wonder if he told her it was fine to do.
Hope that didn't sound rude, I just feel like if you truly have a problem with someone to the point where you are saying you "hate" them, I feel like you should at least give them a chance by telling them what is going wrong to make you upset. Otherwise it's like you are letting them walk all over you
Hope it all works out for you!

xCeex · Mar 16th, 2012, 04:41 AM

me and him had a argument last night, i caught him talking to a girl on xbox . I have watched him talk to her for the last few nights so last night i decided to ask why he felt the need to talk to other women when he should be in bed spending time with me,

Wow, that started something. The same old rubbish came out how about how I always make shit up.

I really dont know how to express myself to him without him always saying its lies?

AmethystDream · Mar 16th, 2012, 05:49 AM

This sort of response screams all kinds of wrong, to me. He turns the blame on you and makes you drop the subject with anger.

This is so wrong, he shouldn't be treating you like this anyway but with a 2 week old baby?

You need to take a good hard look at this relationship and see where things need to change and if it is possible that they actually will.

Take what the ladies say here as a general rule of thumb. If enough people say his behaviour is wrong and they wouldn't put up with it (I sure as hell wouldn't, he would have been out on his arse before now), then it is an indication that perhaps you need to talk to him. If you can't, because of how he responds to you, then you have to decide where you go from there.

Take care of you and baby, this is too important and precious a time to be ruined by anyone.

Tracie87 · Mar 16th, 2012, 06:00 AM

Im gunna stick my neck on the line here and say...

Pack yours and LO's bags and go to your parents or a friends. You OH is a spineless tw@t. I understand that men want there mums involved sometimes but he hasnt and wont stick up for you. your the mum! you have every right so say no. do not let them bully you just because she thinks your young.
She is so out of line and borerline vile for videoing you in labour!!
And as for leaving her or letting people have her, my LO is 3 months old and i still have a problem with leaving her!

Try and put your foot down. Or they will manipulate you and bully you into what they want!

Mrmojo1971 · Mar 16th, 2012, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xCeex

Wow, that started something. The same old rubbish came out how about how I always make shit up.

I really dont know how to express myself to him without him always saying its lies?

This was me and my ex. I finally realised it wasn't me making things up/ going mad, it was just a great way for him to manipulate me and move the focus away from his behaviour and lies.

deflepgirl · Mar 16th, 2012, 08:43 AM

I so feel for you, I really want to come and sort your mil out for you!
What she has done is iridculous and as for sleeping overnight, what the hell is she thinking!
I'm so sorry you have a MIL and OH who are such idiots.
BTW Mother's day is about you (yes it's his mothers day) but you are a mum now, so you shouldn't be spending all day with her, you need time with your baby.
I'm really sorry that she is such a twat, hopefully you can resolve it.

Quackquack99 · Mar 16th, 2012, 08:55 AM

Hun if your oh will not stick up for you, then you have to! How dare she film your birth without Your consent and if your oh did agree to it then he is spineless.
Personally if someone close had an intimate video like that of myself. I'd delete it myself regardless if she had any knowledge of it.

Palestrina · Mar 16th, 2012, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xCeex

me and him had a argument last night, i caught him talking to a girl on xbox . I have watched him talk to her for the last few nights so last night i decided to ask why he felt the need to talk to other women when he should be in bed spending time with me,

Wow, that started something. The same old rubbish came out how about how I always make shit up.

I really dont know how to express myself to him without him always saying its lies?

Sorry, how old is your OH? The way you communicate with each other you both sound like teenagers. Who has time to play xbox with a 2wk old baby in the house?

milf2be · Mar 16th, 2012, 13:40 PM

wow, just wow. i literally have no words, you are not over reacting hun *big hugs*
have you got anywhere you can stay?

LannieDuck · Mar 16th, 2012, 14:21 PM

Are you in the UK? I thought you weren't allowed to video the birth - something about medical liabilities?

Mar 15th, 2012, 18:02 PM	#51
ttcmikeandme Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Posts: 1,918	I see why you are upset, but to me your MIL for the most part doesn't sound like anything outside of the normal MIL who wants to see her grandchild. You haven't told her no, so how do you expect her to know that baby/you aren't ready for babysitting time?? You can't expect her to be a mindreader. The video thing is obviously off and wrong, but why would your OH not have stopped her from doing it? I just wonder if he told her it was fine to do. Hope that didn't sound rude, I just feel like if you truly have a problem with someone to the point where you are saying you "hate" them, I feel like you should at least give them a chance by telling them what is going wrong to make you upset. Otherwise it's like *you* are letting them walk all over you Hope it all works out for you!

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Mar 16th, 2012, 04:41 AM	#52
xCeex Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 944	me and him had a argument last night, i caught him talking to a girl on xbox . I have watched him talk to her for the last few nights so last night i decided to ask why he felt the need to talk to other women when he should be in bed spending time with me, Wow, that started something. The same old rubbish came out how about how I always make shit up. I really dont know how to express myself to him without him always saying its lies?

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2012, 05:49 AM	#53
AmethystDream Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Merseyside, UK Posts: 1,215	This sort of response screams all kinds of wrong, to me. He turns the blame on you and makes you drop the subject with anger. This is so wrong, he shouldn't be treating you like this anyway but with a 2 week old baby? You need to take a good hard look at this relationship and see where things need to change and if it is possible that they actually will. Take what the ladies say here as a general rule of thumb. If enough people say his behaviour is wrong and they wouldn't put up with it (I sure as hell wouldn't, he would have been out on his arse before now), then it is an indication that perhaps you need to talk to him. If you can't, because of how he responds to you, then you have to decide where you go from there. Take care of you and baby, this is too important and precious a time to be ruined by anyone.

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2012, 06:00 AM	#54
Tracie87 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: In a pineapple Posts: 11,521	Im gunna stick my neck on the line here and say... Pack yours and LO's bags and go to your parents or a friends. You OH is a spineless tw@t. I understand that men want there mums involved sometimes but he hasnt and wont stick up for you. your the mum! you have every right so say no. do not let them bully you just because she thinks your young. She is so out of line and borerline vile for videoing you in labour!! And as for leaving her or letting people have her, my LO is 3 months old and i still have a problem with leaving her! Try and put your foot down. Or they will manipulate you and bully you into what they want!

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2012, 08:43 AM	#56
deflepgirl Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 174	I so feel for you, I really want to come and sort your mil out for you! What she has done is iridculous and as for sleeping overnight, what the hell is she thinking! I'm so sorry you have a MIL and OH who are such idiots. BTW Mother's day is about you (yes it's his mothers day) but you are a mum now, so you shouldn't be spending all day with her, you need time with your baby. I'm really sorry that she is such a twat, hopefully you can resolve it.

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2012, 08:55 AM	#57
Quackquack99 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Lancashire, UK Posts: 2,844	Hun if your oh will not stick up for you, then you have to! How dare she film your birth without Your consent and if your oh did agree to it then he is spineless. Personally if someone close had an intimate video like that of myself. I'd delete it myself regardless if she had any knowledge of it.

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2012, 13:40 PM	#59
milf2be Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: birmingham Posts: 1,842	wow, just wow. i literally have no words, you are not over reacting hun big hugs have you got anywhere you can stay?

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Mar 16th, 2012, 14:21 PM	#60
LannieDuck Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: London, UK Posts: 703	Are you in the UK? I thought you weren't allowed to video the birth - something about medical liabilities?

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