I used to get along with my MIL quiet well, although i could never be my real self around her as i was constantly suspicious of her.. But all through my pregnancy, she was nice to me, she brought our moses basket and infact, our pram! .. She was even there at LOs birth, and came down everyday after LO was born, for about a week, but im guessing the novelty wore off? .. She used to make me and OH drag LO to hers when we werent driving in the cold because she wanted to see LO, i was okay with it for a while, then it just seemed like we were making all the effort.. Anyways, she refused to come to our house, ever! .. Using excuses like, she didnt like our dogs, or she didnt want to intrude, or she couldnt relax with LO! .. Rubbish!! It got to the point where i refused to take LO to hers unless she made some kind of effort (popping down once!) .. I mean she pops in over the road to collect money off people for her job, sees me in the window and waves and drives away! .. She lives a 5minute walk away and a 2minute drive away! She randomly buys LO things, like clothes and nappies, but wont drop them off.. She gives them to OH to bring home! Buying things doesnt make up for not seeing Lo! Shes missed out on her rocking to crawling to pulling herself up to saying dada to saying grandad! .. Its upsetting to think shes not fussed, but dotes on her grand sons! I text her a few month back saying its not fair on lillie, shes the one missing out on two grand parents; and that if they want to see her, they need to come to our house so she can get used to them (she screams when we go there, and gets in a state if shes passed to one of them, because she doesnt know them or their house) then once shes used to them, we can get her used to their house...She ended up ringing OH today shouting at him saying she wanted to see LO on mothers day! .. Come down then? Didnt think so! .. She was shouting saying she knew i said he couldnt go down, which is a lie, i said the opposite since its mothers day (my fucking first one) but anyways, im basically asking for opinions: should i give up and take LO there? Even though shes made it clear she wont be coming to ours? Or should i stick to what ive said? Its so tricky for me.. Especially when OHs stuck in the middle! Thanks if you read this far! Xxxxx

To be honest, i think shes being very unreasonable.
I think its probably best to make it clear to her that she is being ridiculous, especially expecting you to run over to hers on mothers day, when you should be spending it with your new little family and relaxing.
If seeing your daughter was such a big deal to her, she would make the effort to come to your house to see her, but she doesnt, so you shouldnt feel obligated to make that effort for her. Its her fault shes missing out on her grandaughter growing up, and she should know that.

Hope things work out for you.

wow, you sounded just like me explaining myself to OH fancy popping to mine to back me up lol! Thank you, makes me feel like less of the bad person sick of it! Xx

Lol Your not a bad person, it is very difficult trying to explain to your OH that his mother is the one being unreasonable... they feel like they must defend their mother at all times, even if it means getting into a fight with the mother of their child... But, you will eventually make your point noticed, it will be even better for you if you make him see it...

Why dont you try making an occasion of it? Invite her round for tea and biscuits (or something a little less boring ) and when she says no, and tha you should go round to her house, this should prove your point to your OH. xx

I think mothers day is supposed to thank those who are still sacrificing their own sleep and sanity more than those others who's kids are full grown with their own little family. Sure they should get a card and a little gift maybe, but it's ridiculous to expect their grown son to give them undivided attention when there's a baby and a new mom having mothers day for the first time. It's very selfish of your MIL and not just about mothers day. Her actions seem selfish in general. I'd stay home. Tell your oh he can visit for a brief time, but you'll need him home for dinner or something else. Don't set a precedence for her selfish ways.

lol tea and biscuits! I'll need a bottle of alcohol after all this drama
he knows shes .. Awful. But he says 'i want my mum to see her grandaughter, i cant make her come round can i, so i'll take her there' .. Duhhh! Its a joke hun xx

she was literally crying down the phone whilest having a go at him for not taking LO to see her.. Which he was going to after work! Couldnt believe her! .. By OH visiting, do you mean with LO or alone? I never go up anyways.. OHs family are very 'silent' face to face and would rather argue over the phone, i'd have to bite my tongue.... Hard. x

In my opinion, if any family member, including her aunties, uncles, cousins or grandparents, want to see her, they will make the effort to come see her... It should not be on her parents to make sure that the rest of her family see her, you guys have enough on your plate looking after the little lady, let alone having to make sure her family spend time with her.
when it would be far simpler for them to just pop round to yours for an hour every few days, where you and LO are comfortable and have your own system, where you wont have to worry you havent brought enough nappies out with you, or that she'll have her feeds too quickly and you'll have to take a screaming baby home to make up a new feed etc.

She sounds like a seriously selfish woman.

Agree!!!!

He want his mum to get to know his daughter but he can't make her comes to urs, I'd say if she wants to know her granddaughter she wil come n I'd say u can visit ur mum but ur not takin lo, she knows were we live, or even better go with him n invite her down one day, if she's says no suggest another day if she says no again, get ur lo n say I'm not makin all the effect, u wanna see ur granddaughter cone to our home. Goodbye n walk out.