first off, I am really truly sorry that you are having to go through this. It's heartbreaking when the family you know and love turns on you like that. It sounds like you are doing a very good job with your children, so don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

It sounds like your sister is very immature, she can't take criticism very well, and she is jealous that your children have a much better temperament than her bratty 18 month. old.

If I were in your shoes I would avoid her completely for the time being. Sister or not, you don't deserve that kind of stress and treatment. Sure you love your family, but you don't have to like them.

I know it's hard, but try not to take what your sister said to heart. If she only sees you twice a month, then she obviously doesn't know the first thing about you, your children, or your parenting, and she choosing not to discipline her child will come back to bite her in the ass a couple years from now.

Thanks everyone.
She text me today, but no apology. The text was only about a good deal she saw online! It's like she could care less. I didnt mention last night my dad tried to get us to apologize and I said I dont feel like I should have to say sorry when I didnt say anything about how she raises her duaghter I only told her she shouldnt allow her daughter to hit others. My sister was like "Sorry, we should act mature" and that was it. I think she will never apologize for what she actually said to me. I've been so bugged thinking about it today. I know I should forget it because it is only affecting me and she obviously is living in her delusional world and not affected. So I'm going to just forget it. I know I take care of kids and I hope those who were there know it too since they all got an ear full

I'm so sorry hun... regardless of wether or not one child was "provoked" by another, it's NEVER Ok to just allow them to hit or scratch another child. If that was my kid, I would have for sure stepped in and they would have been punished or told No (age appropriately)- as I know they may not fully understand what is or isn't OK when they are really little... you can't just tollerate that behavior and think it OK. What if she truly hurt your 6mos old- even if on accident, that would be horrible.

Honestly, if I feared for the safety of my child because of another kid (no matter who that kid was)- I would keep them away. I know it's hard as she is your sister, but she obviously doesn't repect you enough to intervene when her child is out of control. I can't imagine allowing my child to hit ME, let alone another kid. Yes, these things do sometimes happen- as most kids go through that stage where they are selfish and want everything to be "mine" etc... and hitting or biting or kicking isn't abnormal at all, but the parents should still step in. A friend of mine's kid would accidentally choke another baby while she was trying to "hug" her. It was totally on accident- but the mom still stepped in and stopped the behavior quickly. She eventually grew out of doing that and understood better... but until they do, that it the parents JOB!!!

Least that is my two cents... long winded Best of luck hun.

Also, if you do want to mend the relationship going forward- maybe try approaching your sister when you are both calm and not around anyone else. Let her know how her words really hurt... maybe you both just need to hash some stuff out? It sometimes happens with friends as well as siblings. Maybe clearing the air will bring you closer? Maybe worth a try if you think so...