I want to do a little rant. Tonight I was at my parents house celebrating my Mom's and Bro-in laws birthdays. My younger sister who is 14 months younger than me has an 18 month old daughter who we'll call K. Her daughter is going through a phase of hitting, scratching, biting etc. She pulled my 11 month old nephews hair earlier tonight dragging him in the process. Then a few minutes later did it again. My sis just said "That's what 18 month olds do" and she wouldnt stop her or reprimand her. Then a few seconds later K pulled my 3 yr olds hair(We'll call her E) and my sister said "Ya she's just defending herself" My daughter had her back turned to her! My 3 yr old does occasionally take K's toy or play rough with K which we always stop my daughter or tell her not to do that, but at that moment she was sitting in a little Dora tent and K came up behind her. So anyway I said ''Ya, but you still have to stop her! You can't let her just do that!" My sister freaked. I kid you not, I didnt see it coming. She was yelling: "Seriously, seriously!!??? E hurts Kinzley all the time! Kinzley is only defending herself!" I said "E wasnt doing anything to her! And K hits the other kids too so it's not defense." She even hits my youngest who is 6 months old. Today she hit my baby twice and last week she scratched my baby's eyes leaving scratch marks above and below her eye in the process. And she gashed my 11 month old nephews nose a couple months ago leaving a deep scratch. Also she hits all of the adults. Smacks her Mom and pinches and bites her. My sister always tells me how mean K can be. So, my sister then is yelling at me in front of everyone and says ''You don't even take care of your kids! Adam does!" I said"Really! How? He works and then takes naps when he gets home and even after that I still do most of it" She went on to tell me that Adam does everything and I dont ever take care of my kids. She said I make my dh do everything while I just sit there. That Adam cleans, watches the kids and works and the reason my kids are so naughty is because I let them do whatever they want. My kids are pretty well behaved and were certainly ALOT nicer at 18 months than her daughter is. I actually get upset often worrying that I reprimand them too much or put them in time outs too much. Some days it feels like all I do is yell which I hate and regret.
I get that her daughter is too young to comprehend what she's doing for the most part but my point was for my sister to actually take action when she hits. She doesnt care when K hits my 3 yr old, because she thinks my 3 yr old deserves it. My 3 yr old does play rough, but she usually isnt being malicious. After all of this K took a toy E was playing with so E said in her sweet voice(which is hard for her when someone takes something from her)''K give it back please.''And E reached to get it back and K bit her hand! And her parents said she bit her because E was trying to take a toy away from her! I hate how they treat my daughter. They are always mad at her and K is manipulative already and will scream when E is by her, or if E hugs her so her parents will scoop K up and and say things like "Oh poor K, whats the matter?" Then they will say how mean E is. I'm just so bugged at all of this.. Oh and I didnt mention that after my sister told me I do nothing and don't take care of my kids, I tried telling her how much I do, but she plugged her ears!! I seriously had to yell it! She will be 27 next month! I was almost in tears, and when I said ''I do so much! I take care of my kids 90% of the time and dh does the other 10%!" She told me to "Seriously,shut up!" I said Wow you're a B***. I never swear but this was ridiculous.
I see her twice a month and somehow she knows I'm a worthless mother. I feel like crap because I do so much for my family and worry about them like crazy and try so hard to be a good Mom. Taking them to the park, indoor picnics in bad weather, trying to make a homemade dinner every night, always making sure they look clean and hair done nicely, cleaning the house several times a day, reading to them, playing games with them, teaching my oldest tumbling, nursing my youngest every 2 hours and waking 4 times a night to nurse her still at almost 7 months. The list goes on. And she went and trashed me like that in front of a dozen people. Nobody even said anything to defend me either.
Well, I feel better writing this. I have nobody else to rant to.
I sound like she's jealous that you have control over your children.
I'd consider cutting her out of your life for a while. It's not fair on your children that they're being physically hurt by her daughter and then blamed for it! Your children could become very hurt and confused by this.
I would stay away from them for awhile. And let them know you're upset and hurt that nobody else defended you. I would be furious! And any idiot knows that regardless evenif another child was trying to take away a toy biting is never ok. You always talk to your child for aggressive behavior!
I agree with everyone that's posted so far! Sounds like she's jealous and trying to shift her bad parenting on how bad your children are to make you forget what you'd said. 18 months they understand A LOT more than you give them credit for so yes, now is the time to try and nip bad behaviour in the bud. She's going ot regret later on not disciplining her.
WOW...you don't have to justify yourself to her. I would stop bringing my children around her and hers...celebrate occasions separately because its not okay for her child to be hitting babies or anyone else for that matter and I'm sorry, at 18 months, she should absolutely understand the word NO, even if she doesn't quite understand that what she's doing is hurting the other person and is mean. She seems very immature and I would definitely not be around her anymore.
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