Older mums: Do you mind talking to younger mothers?

tinkerbelle93 · Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:38 PM

Just wondered because I am a 19-year-old mummy and I find older mums with babies really don't seem to want to talk to me

I go to the childrens center with my little boy for groups such as weigh and play and most of the other mums are in their mid 30s+ and just seem to ignore me when I try and make an effort.

I know there is an age difference but I still have a baby meaning I have all the similar things to talk about to do with parenting etc. I just feel as though I'm looked down on, even though I'm a mother too, just the same as them.

Any opinions on this? xx

Natasha2605 · Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:48 PM

I think with a lot of situations you do get judged or looked at. Or ignored. Not sure what's worse tbh. I wouldn't think that people do it intentionally but I suppose some must do, others maybe just automatically presume that they will have nothing in common with a younger mum.

I must admit, that when I use netmums for example, I never reply to ads where the person is over 25/26 incase when I tell them my age (20) they don't want to talk to me anymore! I met my best friend on netmums and she's now 26.

I dunno. I must admit myself that I do often wonder. Maybe some are just cautious because we all know the 'stereotypical' young mum that the media is/has portrayed.

It did bother me at one point. But now I think 'eff you' basically. No skin off my nose if somebody is too stuck up to talk to me because I'm a young mum

LannieDuck · Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:48 PM

No, not at all! (I'm in my 30s) I'm sorry you've had rubbish groups

seoj · Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:54 PM

I would talk to ANY Mom... no matter the age. I'm 38 and had my first LO at 37, but I've also been a step-mom to my lovely daughter since she was 9yrs old (and she's 14 now). So I feel I've been a Mom since I was 32. Not exactly a "young" mom, lol, but being a Mom brings common ground- no matter when it happens or how.

Sorry the woman aren't as chatty with you as you'd like... maybe there is more to it? I've no clue... but if they continue to ignore your "advances" - hehe- then just focus on those woman who do chat with ya and maybe the rest will come around. Sometimes people can be a bit standoff if they don't know how to act... even if they are being silly about it.

Best of luck!!!

fannyadams · Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:54 PM

I have been a teenage mum and am now an 'older' mum and I have found that both ends of the scale can be hard.
As a teenager no one spoke to me, no one ever helped me with opening doors, on buses etc and as an older mum I find young people can be 'offish'.
I find a lot of places have cliques and it can be hard to integrate them.
Don't take it personally x

tommyg · Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:57 PM

Not at all. But I think the media may have a lot to answer for. I've only really been to one group which was a BFing support group and their were no really young mums.

Not quiet the same but I know my friends hubby a SATD felt out of it when he took the LO's to the toddlers groups he found the longer he went and the more he mentioned LO's mum the more they accepted him.

hellohefalump · Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:57 PM

I am 26 and I have mum friends in their 40s as well as mum friends in their teens, I'm not bothered by someone's age

cassarita · Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:58 PM

I have been at both ends of the scale. I was 16 when I had my first and It wasn't to bad. I mean where I live they had lots of groups for "young moms"
Now that I am 22 ( not really old) but I find that sometimes I look down on young moms. Even though I was once there. I am huge hypocrite and I admit it. I really do feel like I have nothing in common with teen moms any more. You really do mature a lot in those years from having a baby.

elephant29 · Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:59 PM

Hmm thats a bit rotten. I am 32 next month and I would always make an effort to talk to anyone, regardless of age. Maybe its because I have friends in their early 20's as well as of my own age?

xxx

tinkerbelle93 · Mar 23rd, 2012, 14:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cassarita

I have been at both ends of the scale. I was 16 when I had my first and It wasn't to bad. I mean where I live they had lots of groups for "young moms"
Now that I am 22 ( not really old) but I find that sometimes I look down on young moms. Even though I was once there. I am huge hypocrite and I admit it. I really do feel like I have nothing in common with teen moms any more. You really do mature a lot in those years from having a baby.

But I don't understand how I wouldn't have anything in common with an older mum.. I mean surely having a baby is a massive thing to have in common! xx

Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:38 PM	#1
tinkerbelle93 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: UK Posts: 1,939	Older mums: Do you mind talking to younger mothers? Just wondered because I am a 19-year-old mummy and I find older mums with babies really don't seem to want to talk to me I go to the childrens center with my little boy for groups such as weigh and play and most of the other mums are in their mid 30s+ and just seem to ignore me when I try and make an effort. I know there is an age difference but I still have a baby meaning I have all the similar things to talk about to do with parenting etc. I just feel as though I'm looked down on, even though I'm a mother too, just the same as them. Any opinions on this? xx

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Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:48 PM	#2
Natasha2605 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Edinburgh, UK Posts: 7,979	I think with a lot of situations you do get judged or looked at. Or ignored. Not sure what's worse tbh. I wouldn't think that people do it intentionally but I suppose some must do, others maybe just automatically presume that they will have nothing in common with a younger mum. I must admit, that when I use netmums for example, I never reply to ads where the person is over 25/26 incase when I tell them my age (20) they don't want to talk to me anymore! I met my best friend on netmums and she's now 26. I dunno. I must admit myself that I do often wonder. Maybe some are just cautious because we all know the 'stereotypical' young mum that the media is/has portrayed. It did bother me at one point. But now I think 'eff you' basically. No skin off my nose if somebody is too stuck up to talk to me because I'm a young mum

Status: Offline

Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:48 PM	#3
LannieDuck Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: London, UK Posts: 703	No, not at all! (I'm in my 30s) I'm sorry you've had rubbish groups

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Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:54 PM	#4
seoj Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 8,626	I would talk to ANY Mom... no matter the age. I'm 38 and had my first LO at 37, but I've also been a step-mom to my lovely daughter since she was 9yrs old (and she's 14 now). So I feel I've been a Mom since I was 32. Not exactly a "young" mom, lol, but being a Mom brings common ground- no matter when it happens or how. Sorry the woman aren't as chatty with you as you'd like... maybe there is more to it? I've no clue... but if they continue to ignore your "advances" - hehe- then just focus on those woman who do chat with ya and maybe the rest will come around. Sometimes people can be a bit standoff if they don't know how to act... even if they are being silly about it. Best of luck!!!

Status: Offline

Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:54 PM	#5
fannyadams Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 945	I have been a teenage mum and am now an 'older' mum and I have found that both ends of the scale can be hard. As a teenager no one spoke to me, no one ever helped me with opening doors, on buses etc and as an older mum I find young people can be 'offish'. I find a lot of places have cliques and it can be hard to integrate them. Don't take it personally x

Status: Offline

Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:57 PM	#6
tommyg Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 4,289	Not at all. But I think the media may have a lot to answer for. I've only really been to one group which was a BFing support group and their were no really young mums. Not quiet the same but I know my friends hubby a SATD felt out of it when he took the LO's to the toddlers groups he found the longer he went and the more he mentioned LO's mum the more they accepted him.

Status: Offline

Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:57 PM	#7
hellohefalump Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 2,524	I am 26 and I have mum friends in their 40s as well as mum friends in their teens, I'm not bothered by someone's age

Status: Online

Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:58 PM	#8
cassarita Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: AB, Canada Posts: 1,063	I have been at both ends of the scale. I was 16 when I had my first and It wasn't to bad. I mean where I live they had lots of groups for "young moms" Now that I am 22 ( not really old) but I find that sometimes I look down on young moms. Even though I was once there. I am huge hypocrite and I admit it. I really do feel like I have nothing in common with teen moms any more. You really do mature a lot in those years from having a baby.

Status: Offline

Mar 23rd, 2012, 13:59 PM	#9
elephant29 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: UK Posts: 3,147	Hmm thats a bit rotten. I am 32 next month and I would always make an effort to talk to anyone, regardless of age. Maybe its because I have friends in their early 20's as well as of my own age? xxx

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