How romantic LOL

Have men forgotten what foreplay is?

Thing always come out harsher than I mean them, as I am doing all typing one handed with a baby in my other arm...I really should just learn to not be on this site when I have my baby with me! I don't take the time to get things out right.

Who says romance is dead eh!

Bet yours so jealous lol

I thought I'd feel violated too, but I don't. Annoyed, irritated, sometimes even just bored... but he's never made me feel violated. And not to say that our "I'd rather not be doing this" sex is amazing or even remotely GOOD... in fact, its usually me saying, "Just get it over with"... but its sex and he can see that I'm at least making an effort to reconnect. But I'm serious -- in the short span of 2 months, we've gone from "I'd rather not be doing this" sex to "I'm kind of looking forward to it" and I can tell that I am on my way to really wanting it, possibly being the one to initiate.

this.

i'm not going to make my self feel like shit simply so my husband can get some, and i know full well he wouldn't want it like that either, he'd rather we have sex infrequently and me enjoy it, rather than twice a week and me hating every second of it and hoping he'll get off me as soon as possible.

our relationship would be more likely to end in divorce through my resentment of having to do that, than through my husband feeling he needs more sex. there is more to my husband, as a man than needing sex. he's not just a penis on legs. i don't want him to feel rejected and unloved, but i cannot and will not make myself feel like shit so he can get his end away, it would do far more damage in the long run

rape - the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.

eta, i'm not saying it is rape, i'm just pointing out that it doesn't have to be taken by force to be seen as rape.

Your husband just sounds like mine! I have to tell him all the time 'you need to pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey!' Not sure he gets it though...he just thinks he's getting a roast for dinner There are times when he does try though, bless him.

You should check out the blog 'Married Man Sex Life' -- its fascinating. That's where I learned about how men feel about sex! I'll check out that book

I don't always say yes, either. If the baby or toddler had an unexpected night of no sleeping, or I was running around like a chicken without its head all day while I tried to get everything done and then he approaches me in the wrong way or at the wrong moment, I tell him no. (And he respects that.) He's finding that asking me at all is just kind of stupid though... if he doesn't ask and just starts initiating, I just go along with it without complaint.

He's stated that he'd like to be having sex at least once per day. In our current situation, with two young children and his work schedule... I just don't think that's realistic, especially when he works nights. 4-5x a week is my current goal... I know it'll further strengthen our relationship and will set a good example for our children in what to look for in their future relationships.

I agree that its definitely not rape. Comparing it to rape is saying that I allow my husband to rape me 2 or more times a week. Which in my head says that my husband rips my clothes off, throws me on the bed, holds me down and has his way with me (mmmm... though that sounds kind of hot when I think about it in a willing mind frame... ). It also insinuates that I am some sort of a victim. In my own marriage? Hardly. I am a strong, independent woman who is a mother and a wife. I enjoy sex. He's not taking advantage of me in any sort of way and he's never made me do something that I wasn't willing to do.

I think men really have the same feelings us women do. We don't like to be turned down, or never touched. It makes us feel undesired and unloved. I would be so upset if he turned me down honestly, which is why I try not too. I'm so attractive to him, and love having sex. But sometimes I'm so exhausted that in my free time I just want to sleep. Last night he wanted sex but I just wanted to relax and lay down, so he got me naked and him and we just cuddled like we use to. It was sweet. I've had him home all day so I think I'll show the fella some loving tonight. I don't do it the way he wants to right now (doggy position) I'm still only 6 weeks pp and sex still hurts a little.
I think its important to show them love and make them feel desirable. But it does get annoying when you can't pick a shirt off the floor without being humped from behind even though you just had sex with him 2 days ago.
I figured 2 times a week was pretty awesome for being a new mom and still sore from birth

I think, for a lot of us, it's hard to go from mommy to sexy mode. Obviously men tend to get more turned on quicker than we do (biology, I suppose). A lot of men forget that we need to be warmed up. And honestly? A "warm up" for me could be a surprise dinner, putting the baby to sleep for me, so I can go relax in a shower. I think some men expect a woman to give, give, give (give to the baby, give to him, give to the housework) and forget how exhausted we can be.

I'm more than happy to do whatever a few times a week with mine, but with the understanding that if I am sleep deprived/overexhausted with baby/housework, that I need some more domestic support if I'm going to have any energy saved for him.

i get what you're saying and i want that for my little girl too, but i also don't want her thinking the only way to keep a man happy and a relationship together is for her to spread her legs for him. there is far more to a relationship than that