Gonna go insane.. baby still refuses to nap or sleep in crib at night.
She's going to be 7 months old on the third and REFUSES to nap. She will nurse to sleep, I'll try to put her in her crib, and it's the end of the world. She also won't sleep there at night. We've been co-sleeping since she was 1.5 months but she's just too big and likes to hog the bed to continue to do so.
She doesn't seem to grasp crying it out. Like, she won't give up. She will scream the SECOND I put her down, and when I go in to check on her she is sititng up crying. I know she is tired. Yesterday she went 7 hours without a nap. The kid won't even lay down.
Does anyone have any tips? I don't have much support .. all I get from family is "I told you not to let her sleep with you guys." Well, thanks, but cosleeping was helping me sleep through the night with a newborn!
I hate this.. because I really don't even feel like I can enjoy her anymore! I just want a freaking break during the day. I'm sitting here listening to her cry and it doesn't even effect me anymore. I feel lost. =/
Are we just being soft? We caved after 45 minutes of her screaming her little head off.. she chokes and turns purple and just YELLS. Do we need to keep letting her cry? No one is giving me enough info on crying it out.. even her pediatrician just said "let her cry." Well thats great and all. But how much is too much? When will I know she just isn't gonna take the hint?
ETA: I know she's fine. She stops crying as soon as I pick her up.
Here's my thoughts. I personally am going to keep my baby in the bed with me until he moves out of his own choice I can't bare to let him cry. I also don't think he would give up crying for hours as he just wouldn't understand why I was suddenly not there, his whole world would end. He cries in the car sometimes and I I'm on the motorway, which I try to avoid he gets more hysterical and won't calm himself. It's not a tantrum it's an expression of emotions they don't understand and anxiety that you're not there.
He has the same personality as your little one, all or nothing, no wimpering, if I put him on the bed to get changed for bed myself he will cry hard. He needs mummy close and that's that.
That said if I had to move him out of my bed I would not take an all or nothing approach. Taking him from sleeping next to me every night to being left to cry to sleep would be too much for his little heart and he would definitely start to feel abandoned and mistrustful. CIO is not a good approach for any baby and an absolute last resort for a long term co sleeper. I would start gently, gently. It will take longer but it is more likely to work.
She is fine when you pick her up as her need was to be next to you, which is a real need especially and probably more importantly at night, in the dark, when she fees vulnerable as sleep is like loosing control to a baby. Especially one like ours who dont understand the feeling of falling asleep.
I have a sidecar cot to make more room in my bed and if I was moving my baby out of my bed I would put him in there first. Is this a possibility for you?
If not first try to stop the feed to sleep association. This would mean feeding her until she is almost asleep then unlatching her. She may root again for you. If so let her back on and try again until she will finally fall asleep without sucking. This could take a few weeks.
You will also need a comfort object that smells of you to put in the cot. You will probably also find that you need to stay nearby while she drifts off stroking her gently. You can also try warming the cot before placing her in. I would also make sure to respond quickly to her crys so she knows you at still there for her of she needs you.
It's going to need to be a gentle transition not a CIO approach x x x x
If you absolutely have to let her cry then at least stay in the room with her so she knows you haven't just abandoned her, she really won't understand that you are trying to get her to sleep. She is just calling for you to come and make her cosy. X
By the way my baby is a terrible sleeper and napped but you are so close at 7 months to her getting better on her own that it seems such a shame to leave her to cry after all the effort you've put in. I have every nap with my baby and no time to myself but I'm sure in the long run it will provide my baby with positive sleep associations and trust in me.
I have cried many a night over this but the other option is not CIO that is really a last resort kind of a choice however tempting and however many people suggest it. It doesn't even work for all babies. Some friends I know who have done it still have their babies cry every nap and sleep and their babies no longer want their mothers to comfort them. The babies that are like this now had the same personality. Some babies stay the same despite CIO but I am sure this kind of personality would be more sensitive x
I hope you find a peaceful solution x
Also is there not a friend or neighbour who could take her for you in the day to give you a break. Some babies just don't need the sleep but at least you would get a break.
My lo is very similar but I decided to go for a different approach. For naps during the day I feed her to sleep and she sleeps on me or I put her in a sling while I get on with things, slings were a life saver for us. I now run a sling library and you can get to the website through the link in my sig and look at the different types there are if you like.
Can't really help you with night time, we're lucky enough to have a king size bed so co-sleep. We do put her down earlier than we go to bed, I feed her to sleep on the bed and then slip out when she's asleep. Maybe you could have her cot mattress on the floor and feed her to sleep there? Touch is very important to a baby's development so you won't be spoiling them by keeping them close and holding them as much as they want and it will get easier, my lo is already getting very independent!
Can completely understand the need for some alone time too, when you've been so used to having time for yourself it's really hard to adjust isn't it? I have about two hours away from lo in a 24 hour period, that's when she goes to bed. I remember at around your lo's age it was very hit and miss with bed time and would rarely get any time too myself, nearly drove me mad! Hope you find what works for your family soon
i could never let my baby cry it out. it breaks my heart and he dosnt understand. plus i dont believe it works and isnt neccessary. we had a similar problem, at first, from the word go, he would not sleep unless i was holding him or sleeping with him, during the day, he would not nap unless i was holding him, if i out him in moses basket he would have to be beyond shattered to stay there and if he did it would be for a short time. and this was a newborn who are supposedly meant to just eat and sleep (or so the midwives told me - yeah right!!) then as he got older it became a problem as i was just not sleeping because i simply couldnt with him in bed with me. im too much of a light sleeper. so we had a long period of one of us sleeping on the sofa whilst baby slept in him pram. that wa sthe only place we found he would evetually sleep for long period, other than with us. so we continued that phase for a while until he was a bit older and then i couldnt let him sleep in the pram as he could wriggle down and i was worried he would fall out (wasnt a basket style pram) at this point he slept with me a little while but we found that moving his moses basket into a different room to us (the back room) helped. i think it wa sus waking him tossing and turning. and the back room isnt on a main road so it was quieter and a smaller room so maybe he felt safer. i then started putting the moses basket inside the cot. i perservered with this and eventually managed to swap the basket for him just being in the cot. now he is fine in there! it was a massive process though. although it will be harder still for you as baby is older by now so im guessing wont be able to go in a basket as can sit up. does your LO sleep well in the pram? my advice would be to find anywhere they will sleep without you. even if its the sofa and make it safe somehow (and you be in the same room but not right next to them). because they need to detach themselves from the routine of haing you there all the time. if that works then take stages like i did. x
edit - also there was a crucial time i found i could move him. for instance if i moved him as soon as he closed his eyes and put him down, no way, he woud wake. i had to wait around ten to 15 mins and then put him down so he was in a deeper sleep. if i did it later than this it was like he had a cat nap and woke up!
oh! and naps during the day where a nighmare. for months i had to stand, rocking him and singing the lion king!!! have you tried taking LO out in the pram to sleep, that sometimes worked for us. now for the morning nap he sits on my knee, leaning back on me while i have the tv on and i sing and bounce a little. both these things are our key!
Oh poor you sleep deprivation is horrible, as is getting no time to yourself to chill out so I really feel for you.
My lo is also a terrible napper but she goes down ok ish at night, I've been using the no-cry nap book and sleep book and using the methods in there, and things are getting slowly better....very very slowly, but she napped on her own today for the first time.
Have you tried pick up/put down? Where you pop her down, shhhh and pat, or comfort her however she likes..singing etc. if she starts crying pick her up and comfort her, then once quiet put her back down again. As she starts to fall asleep, reduce the volume of your shhh/singing and just lay your hand on her, no patting. Then withdraw completely. if at anytime she cries pick her up and start again...it takes a lot of patience, and sometimes completely giving up for the night and trying again the next day.
I personally don't agree with CIO, I don't think it's good for babies or mums as it stresses both out, and I think babies get so worked up they can't switch their brains off to sleep anyway, you're literally waiting for pure exhaustion to take over.
Do you have any thing sto introduce as "sleep time" prompters? Like a light projector or we've got a fisher price seahorse, again doesn't work straight away, but they start to associate the toy with sleep.
Update: Do not do CC! My LO went to sleep 15mins after we started the CC but when I went in to check on him he was asleep next to a puddle of sick
Now I feel like the worst mummy ever. I picked him up and cuddled him to death before changing his bedding.
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