Hiya

I am going out of my mind!! Lo hasnt been a great sleeper and for this reason along with her having cmpi & reflux so the beginning was v.difficult we co sleep. In the day she was generally (eventually) a good napper with obviously bad days here and there. But I cant remember the last time she slept well in the day. Now it may be ranitidine related BUT hubby thinks its because we co-sleep and she is getting more used to that or because she knows eventually she will get picked up.

Generally her morning nap she doest fuss too much but for most of the day and especially on an evening she wont sleep. She will fuss, whinge, whine, cry & scream. I dont leave her to cry as I cant. I reassure her, pat her, shush her, give her her dummy back, cover her back up etc and in the end I have to rock her to sleep in her moses basket, pram or my arms or she will eventually go off to sleep. Sometimes she will start to go off and then all of a sudden has an outburst and kicks off again. The main time she sleeps is when I go up to bed and take her with me at night she will sleep for about 9 hours.

I have had people tell me I have spoilt her etc and it has made hubby paranoid that we are going so wrong with her (she is our first). I am just wondering what could be wrong with her and how we could solve the issue, are we going to have a total nightmare getting her into her cot to sleep on her own?! From reading Dr Sears site it seems we have a high needs baby, its unreal how much alike the description on there is like our lo!! The switching of personalities etc!!

Any help or advice or even reassurance if you have had a lo like ours that it does turn out ok!! Lol.

xx

I cosleep and my baby may not sleep through but he doesn't cry at night. Why is the whole world obsessed with separating mother and baby? You are responding to your babies needs by cosleeping. I have cosleeping friends whose babies sleep through and nap well and non cosleepers whose babies are up all the time and vice versa. Love does not spoil a baby. They don't come out of your bits followed by a cot to sleep in! They need mum and milk that's all. Mum is the best kind of bed! If baby sleeps in a cot and that's what you want that a bonus but sleeping with mum is natural and not a bad habit. X

Your baby sounds like a great sleeper. They all have fussy times. I find a walk in the sling helps. My baby has always needed help to sleep from day 1. It's not wrong to repond to them and pick them up when they cry, it makes them more secure and eventually the crying stops. My baby no longer cries unless he's in the car seat and I'm driving. I carried him practically all day up to 6 months old and now still hold him a lot but he is also so happy to play without me joining in for a lot of the day.

Thanks!! LO doesnt cry when co sleeping (or very rarely) and she rarely wakes all night! Everyone seems to be able to say I am spoiling my baby blah blah but me and oh love being able to get a good nights sleep as I am sure does lo I just dont want to be causing her problems which I dont think I am but I am!

I would love to have a sling but have never used one but also suffer with a terrible back so even just lifting her causes pains and aches. Lol. I dont mind sitting on my ass all day after all I am back to work in June

xx

I added a bit more while you were replying. I use a Moby wrap and it is easier on the back than just holding them in arms. Just ignore everyone else, everyone will have an opinion but you're mum so you know your baby better than anyone!

Also some babies need less sleep in the day than others. I find as my baby gets older he needs more sleep rather than less. This is the reverse for my friends babies. They're all different!

Thanks hun. I think they are fab but am so broke atm thanks to hubby chipping his tooth and also our back fence has blown down in the wind! Hoping for a little win on the lotto this eve, not even wanting a million just a few hundred thousand

xx

Fingers crossed for the lottery. LOL. You've inspired me to buy a ticket. Keep doing what you're doing. As mums we just need to adapt to the baby a little each day as they change so much from week to week. Just when you think you've got it sorted their sleep patterns change. I'm baby lead and I have really seen my baby mature sleep wise without any help. X

Thanks hun. I go back to work in 2 months and am hoping she feels safe to sleep by then as grandparents will be watching her and the thought that she may be unsettled so much as she has been while I am away from her turns my stomach!

xx

As my dad says "they don't sleep when we want as they're babies and they dont know they should as haven't read the baby book." I also believe it can feel scary dropping off to sleep if you don't understand it as it can feel like loosing control. Like when you fall asleep and it feels like you're fallin so you jump awake. It's much safer entering this vulnerable state when mum is there for protection.

Hubby has fell into this trap whereby he listens to everyone else say my lo is in bed for 7.30 and sleeps til 6 in the morning etc etc. Yet our lo may (eventually) sleep but is awake again at 8, 9, 10 at night as she isnt tired wants a feed, bum changed bit of mummy and daddy time then sleep in mummy and daddys bed I have said to him she will sleep when she wants to sleep.

xx

Just make your grandparents aware that she needs someone to stay with her until she is deeply asleep. I would say 15 minutes by her side would not be too much trouble. They just prefer a presence. My baby who I thought would not cope without me is totally fine with his dad or my parents. I think the early security of knowing mum is there helps them cope with later separation X