Like I said yesterday, I am new to the baby club, and a lost new mommy looking for some support. I am frustrated because my husband is very stressed about having a new baby ( even though I am the one who had a c-section) I have had 6 hours of sleep in the last 4 days! Anyways, is complaining that the hospital did not tell him what to expect! He says he never knew they cry all the time and that I need to make him stop. I do not know what to do....any suggestions?
my advice would be a kick to the backside for him what does he mean didn't know babies cry? duh. Sometimes it's just difficult for them to adjust to life on the outside. Think about it warm, dark, tight liquid enviornment to the bright loud world is probably really scary. Hold your baby tight give him everything he needs (I personally don't think you can spoil a newborn by cuddling too much but to each their own) and tell hubby to suck it up.
I'm a bit blunt though and with that little sleep would be likely to kill hubs if he said something like that to me. The hospital cannot prepare people for life with a newborn unfortunately it's an experience only kind of thing. Our daughter was an angel slept from 12-4:30 from birth breastfed every 3 hours, gained perfectly the works. Our son, bless him, fed hourly for at least 7 weeks and had reflux so badly he cried for 5-6 hours STRAIGHT every day for a solid 10 weeks. We used to have to hold him 20 minutes, pass him to the other for 20 minutes then back again because it was the only way we could survive. It's brutal and all babies are different but even the "good" ones are trying. Good luck mama x
ps I promise things will get easier...in 6 months this will be a distant memory and you'll be amazed at how fast the time has gone even if it doesn't feel it right now
Yikes! I agree with kermie -- I would punch my OH as well! Go and get him a book for dads about babies and force him to read it. Secondly, YOU need some sleep and recuperation time from the c-section -- can you ask a friend, parent or somebody you trust to come in for a few hours so you can sleep? I've been there (9 wks today since LO by c-section) and the more you pamper yourself -- you did have major surgery -- the better you will feel.....
Oh gosh!!! I know how you feel!!! My OH is sooooo insensitive to thefact that he's a brand new baby and thinks he should have came out self dependent and able to put himself to sleep by himself in his own bed all night every night. When I asked for him to help me out after the last night feed by rocking LO one to sleep while I got a head start he mentioned duct tape and said that would take care of him. GRRRRRRR!!!!! Whatta jerkface!!! That's when I realized how special mommy's are and decided to never ask him for help again when it comes to our LO. Looks like he'll be working more ot and taking the dogs out more!!! Sorry bout your OH too. Hugs from mommy to mommy!!!
I think men are obtuse sometimes. I feel like I am harping him because I am trying to get him to realize that I just had a major surgery and that I still hurt! O/T, I was very against breastfeeding because I thought it was gross, but when I had Ben, I couldn't NOT breastfeed, it was like an automatic response! Now he has such a great latch, I have already had my let down!
Oh god he sounds so insensitive, don't think anyone can prepare you for a new baby as every baby is different. He needs to come to terms with that fact and he needs to support you more rather than moaning at you especially if you have had a section you really need time to rest t let your body heal. I would tell him how I felt f I was in your position. My oh has been very supportive taking the baby while I have naps. Although I do bf so I do need to get up for feedings. Please add me on here I'm on a lot so I am always free to talk if you need it although I am a new mummy too I really old like to help xxxx
He wanted the hospital to tell him that babies cry?!! Every baby is different, I doubt they could have explained what a baby is like, some babies don't cry at all at first. Sorry, I don't have any advice, other than what has been said. I hope he bucks his ideas up soon for you and you need to find a way to rest. x
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