Ok so my MIL is not as bad as some of the MIL's on here, since DD came she's just been overexcited, so I've been quiet and not saying anything. A little background first, my DD has been wanting mommy and nothing else all weekend because she's not feeling well. Normally when MIL comes over she only wants to hold DD, and since DD wasn't feeling well I wasn't sure how long she'd be able to resist trying to take her from me.

Since yesterday was easter she had offered to cook dinner for us, which was a very nice gesture, so she was doing that and came out to peek at DD who was having a bottle. My MIL says, "I bet you wouldn't be so fussy if you had some of grandma's beer in your bottle".....I responded that if she ever tried that she'd earn a cutoff...then she says I was only joking.

Then after dinner, baby was covered in sweat and wanted snuggling, so I was holding her. Well I guess my MIL decided that she was sick of not holding her (like I said she comes over only to hold her). So she starts arguing with me that DD isn't hot and sweaty, and that baby probably just wants grandma to hold her....my DH gave me a little look (probably cause she was driving him nuts, but I'm not sure), so I passed DD to her, and then she says "oh she is sweating everywhere"....I wanted to scream, NO SHIT, that's what I just said and you told me I was wrong!!!! I had to leave the room cause I was soooo upset by this. Then when she was leaving she said that I should rely on mommy's instincts if I think LO's not feeling well, she probably isn't! WTF!!!

Sorry I guess I just needed to rant and get this out of my system. Am I right for being upset or is this just me being overprotective/hormonal?

To be honest I think you over reacted in both situations Sounds like she just wanted to hold her granddaughter Not really a bad thing is it?
You're only 1 month PP, your hormones are all over the place still but really, I dont think she meant any harm at all.

oh geez, you weren't kidding! She sounds a little crazy. I know exactly what you are feeling. At least she asks you to hold him. My MIL comes over and puts her arms out towards him until i hand him over. Then she carries him around like he is her latest accessory. The thing that would bother me the most is her saying that she would be happier with a little beer in her bottle. :S

i dunno... i'd be annoyed but i wouldn't dwell on it too much. i know my mom and MIL love holding LO so I always offer to let them hold him/feed him EBM before they ask. This way they never feel like they're imposing (and i earn brownie points) and if i don't offer, it's for a good reason.

it might be a bit of an overreaction. i wouldn't read too much into it

This sounds like mil and fil, I'm surprised they havent skinned her and turned her into matching handbags yet

I think it's totally normal that she wants to come over to hold LO. When my SIL had my first nephew, all I wanted to do was hold him. As for the other stuff, I'd just let it go and try not to be bothered. It was sweet of her to offer to cook, and you said she is overexcited. I think it's great that she wants to be involved in your LO's life. I'd let it go and try not to stress.

Thanks for the replies ladies. I should clarify, that there is nothing wrong with her wanting to hold her granddaughter and she usually comes over every other day, but that's all she does, once MIL has DD in her arms she doesn't talk to me, I should also say that we weren't close before DD was born. I think the reason it bothered me so much was that DD wasn't feeling well and only wanted mommy, my DH even knew this, and I just wanted to help DD feel better. It was her implying that I was wrong and didn't know what I was talking about when in fact, yes she is hot and sweaty, that upset me the most.

As far as the beer comment being harmless, she compares everything I do with what she did when my DH was a baby, over 30 years ago....which back then, as was stated on another thread, they did give babies alcohol to put them to sleep....so that's why my reply may have seemed like a little overreaction, but there's no way I want my DD having any alcohol to stop her fussing!

Honestly I don't think you overreacted. But I have a MIL that drives me absolutely insane so I understand. If my MIL said that about the beer I would have told her basically the same thing...that the thought better not even cross her mind again. My MIL wanted to let my oldest try her wine when he was around a year old, I tore her a new one....needless to say it has never come up again and she knows how serious I am about things like that.

I wouldn't have handed the baby over if I knew what she wanted, even to make a point. I would have just said that I knew she wanted to hold her but right now she wasn't feeling well and wanted mommy...period. If DH gave me a look we'd be having a convo later that he is on my side no matter what and if he needed to be giving anyone a look it should be her. And coming over every few days?? NO WAY I'd lose it. Even once a week is way too much for me.

I really don't think you were overreacting. My MIL and FIL can drive me nuts sometimes...particularly my MIL lol. She's bad about not listening to me when it comes to my son. For example, he was tired this past Sunday, I tried lying him down for a nap, he wouldn't have none of it lol. I got him up, she wanted to hold him (I prefer she didn't because...well, tbh, I don't like her that much lol, I know very wrong of me but we've been having problems for a loooooong time). So I handed him over, she said something about she was gonna take him to lay in the bed with FIL to see if he would go to sleep. I said no, don't do that (I don't like it when they try to sleep with him, I don't even do it unless its in the middle of the night and I know thats the only way he will go to sleep). She laughed then said it again. I repeated myself and said no I said not to do that. She went in the house, I stayed outside with DH. She comes back after 10-15 minutes I think, said she tried to lay him down to go to sleep with grandpa but he wasn't having it.

I just looked at DH and shook my head. Eventually by the end of the day, she wouldn't listen to anything DH or I said. Her response was "you're not the boss of me, I don't have to listen to you" saying this to both me and DH. And I smarted off "That is OUR child, not yours, and you have to listen to what we say when it comes to him." She walked off and didn't come back for about 5 minutes. DH says he is going to talk to her...which I find interesting because in the 5 years we've been together he has NEVER stood up for me to his mother lol.

So, I understand. More than welcome to PM me for private MIL rants LOL!!!

When I told my parents about the beer comment, they were both wondering why it would even cross her mind to say something like that. I'm hoping my reply to MIL got the message that she better not let it cross her mind again. And I wish I could've thought of something like you said about not passing over DD, I couldn't think of any nice way to say no and didn't want to be too rude, but your response would've been perfect.
I'm not a big fan of her coming over 2-3 times a week, especially since she doesn't even call her own son anymore just calls me (at least she does call first) but expects me to answer and be home, and she hardly talks to me just waits to hold the baby and then just stares at her. When she does talk to me she questions EVERYTHING, including what shots the doctors intend to give DD...makes me worried since she's questioning doctors that I won't be able to use the excuse "well the doctor said..." UGH
Thanks


This is exactly what I'm worried about, I'm waiting for the day when she tells me that I can't tell her what to do. She's already informed me that "its grandmas right to spoil and not follow rules"....I'm trying to pick my battles, and I try to think would I be upset if my mom did this...but geez she's getting more opinionated every day it seems.
I may have to PM you, there's not really anyone here that I can vent to as she is a nice woman, as long as she's not your MIL Thanks