Hi all, as you can see at 12+5 i'm over here very early. Just looking for some advice really. I had agreed to be my BF's bridesmaid years ago, and am still so excited. My Hubby is the best man. My BF has now set a date which will be 6 weeks after my due date. I made a joke and said that if she didn't want a fat bridesmaid I would stand aside. Her and her h2b were lovely and said none of that mattered. I just have a nagging doubt that it's not going to be at all easy. What do you ladies think? As a first time Mum i have no idea what a 6 week old baby will be like (could even be just 4 weeks). Hubby's won't able to help that much either as he'll have speeches and be with the groom in the morning. I'll be with my friend getting ready, have make up and hairdresser etc with a baby in the morning. I can ask a friend to have the baby during the service (which should just be half an hour). Then during reception it will be the first time a lot of our friends will meet the baby so sure people will want cuddles and I can sneak off for 5 minutes of photo's.

My main worry is nothing will go to plan and I'll end up feeling fat in my dress, have leaky boobs and a screaming baby that will ruin their day. BUT i really want to be her bridesmaid. What should I do? Am I being really selfish wanting to do this / worrying about how I'll look. She has another bridesmaid as well as me.

Any advice from the more experienced would be great.

Well I have never been a bridesmaid when having a very young baby, but I have been a bridesmaid twice and once with a one year old.

I would say there is no reason you shouldn't be bridesmaid, but I would suggest that you say to your friend you should take a back seat and not be responsible for anything important - as on the one had you might have a baby that sleeps all the time the first couple of months and only feeds every 2-3 hours (like my DD), on the other hand you might have a baby that doesn't sleep at all unless they are being held, and cries when you put them down, and feeds every hours.

Also you will still be recovering from the birth - if you have tears or a c-section you might not feel brilliant. On the other hand you might be fine like I was after DD and up and out a few days after the birth.

My point it you just don't know how you will feel and how your baby will be, so I would just set the expectations with your friend - that you want to be her bridesmaid and walk up the aisle etc etc, BUT that you might find it difficult to be full on into everything as your baby will only be 6 weeks old (maybe younger if you are overdue).

x x

Hm, it's difficult to predict. Can you maybe get a "babysitter" who will come to the wedding with you, e.g. your mum, and who will take baby whenever you're needed as a bridesmaid? You might have a baby who will happily sleep through most of it but you might have one who wants to be held all the time or will cry.
I wouldn't worry about not looking nice, just prepare really well. Make sure you have all you accessories etc bought and ready way before baby is due. Pick a dress that will allow you to breastfeed (cross-over styles work well). Make sure you have really supportive underwear and a nursing bra that doesn't show under the dress (M&S have great ones!).
So bottom line I would say is prepare really well, before baby arrives. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll manage just fine in the end and have a brilliant day!

I was a bridesmaid for my sister when my little boy was 12 weeks and it was fine but my husband wasn't the best man and was able to look after him when I couldn't. We just fed him before the service, went for a walk and he was fast asleep the whole time.
6 weeks though or 4 weeks if you go over is very soon and I guess will depend on the type of birth you have... Mine was a difficult labour and the first few weeks I was in such a zombie state of mind there's no way I could of been a bridesmaid but that's me. Also my little boy just wanted to be with me a lot of the time and didn't really like cuddles with other people much!
Not really sure what to suggest to you! Just saying how I felt and if I was asked to be bridesmaid at 4 or 6 weeks pp I'd prob say no or that I'd have to see nearer the time.
Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well!! X

i was bridesmaid for my sister while being a bf mum last year, one thing i would highly reccomend is getting the bride to pick dresses you can BF in rather than having to get out of if your planning on breastfeeding and have someone to take care of the baby fulltime during everything because photos can take AGES and that person will have to be there with you with the baby incase the baby needs you during that time

Thanks ladies, i do appreciate you all taking the time to reply x