I always say do what they do to you! I would just leave (if not breastfeeding) and go for a nice walk, a coffee etc. Then come back draw your self a bath. When he says well what about LO? Say yeah and? Lol I did this to OH once and he got the point. He can do what ever he pleases whenever, while our world revolves around LO. You need a break! To be the best mom and wife you need your time too.
This thread is making me feel very lucky to have my dh. He works all day- before he goes
To work he gives rel her bottle and breakfast, then he comes home and takes over looking after rel at about half 6 and I go off and have a bath, read knit a little bit. Then I read her story and put her to bed about 8
You're not being unreasonable hun, its hard taking care of a baby all the time, and if your partner only works 16 hours then really he should be doing a lot more than just letting you have a bath once in a while! My DH works full time but as soon as he comes in the door he takes Amelia straight off me, mainly because he has missed her but also so I can have a cuppa and relax.
I'm a firm believer that after a baby you should still have "me" time but also couple time so you both have quality time together, is this anything you have done? He might come round more to your way of thinking then! Good luck hun xxx
It sounds like the men we're talking about here don't want to understand because they are selfish! I am the other way around, when i ask for some time to myself or if hubby can do a feed for me so i can sleep he happily does it - he even ran a bath for me the other night so i could relax... not all men are like the ones talked about here but i do believe men will get away with as much as they can before we put our foot down.
I wouldn't tolerate being treated like that and made to feel i have no right to have any time to myself to take a bath! You need to get into them about that otherwise nothing will change.
Same here! My husband is wonderful with our daughter and has been ever since she was born. I breastfed for a long while but he would give her her last bottle at night so I could go to bed early and when she started having a formula feed too he would do an early morning feed every couple of days (despite working full time) as she was still waking twice a night. Now she sleeps through the night but is a very early riser (5am ish each day) so we take it in turns to get up with her. My husband also thinks it's important for me to get a bit of time to myself (and to prepare me for the fact that at the end of May I have to go back to work full time - I'd rather work part time but it isn't possible). He loves being with his daughter and is really happy to get up with her as he only sees her for about 45 minutes in the evening before she goes to bed.
It is totally unreasonable for husbands/OHs to think the baby is solely the mother's responsibility. When I was breastfeeding and up a lot during the night, we had a kind of 'rule' that I'd only be up for two hours or so and then my hubby would get up if the little'un hadn't allowed me to put her back to bed. It is totally exhausting otherwise. If you have a baby that sleeps well it's not so bad but I was getting so shattered after 8 weeks of less than 4 hours sleep a night that I really needed a bit of help. I was getting so tired I was feeling nauseous during the day - nobody told me that fatigue can do that to you!
He does do things with him,feed him,change him and play with him but always acts like he's doing me a favour by doing it. Don't get me wrong he loves the LO and its clear to see he just never does it off his own back he has to wait for me to ask him to do it,then moans that i'm nagging him!! Although it does feel like that sometimes!
We all need a little me time! I love my son more than anything but need to hav a little time to myself. My OH usually takes LO when he gets in from work so I can chill for an hour or so before we start the bed time routine and he always does feeds before bed. You need your space sometimes hun or you will exaust yourself! X x x
He seems to think that i have the better deal by staying at home with the LO while he works 4 hour shifts 4 times a week,its not easy half the time and i never stop and would just sometimes like a break..not much to ask really.
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