Returning to work - 'splitting' home responsibilities and childcare
I'm looking for some advice please on returning to work. I am due back to work in June after a year off which has been great. My hubbie works full time so I've been doing all the cooking, ironing, washing, and the main one looking after our boy even at weekends.
So when I return I hope to do 4 days a week. I may have to do five days a week but I wondered how people split the chikldcare and home responsibiklities? 50:50 or did you (the mum sorry if there are any dads on here!) end up doing more than half? I'd love to know what works for you guys.
I know that at the moment I'm a bit of a control freak with my son as I am with him 24-7 so know him best but I don't want to set myself up to fail at work with trying to be a full time mum, house wife and employee at the same time but I also don't want to be asking too much of my husband!
I went back to work when my LO was 6 months old. I work 4 days a week. Everything gets split 50/50 in our house.
Hubby finishes work at 4 so he'll start the dinner on the days I'm at work and by the time I get home at 5:30 it's ready and I can feed LO. He baths LO at 6:30 while I run around getting her bottle and PJS ready and then at 7 I'll give her a bottle and put her to bed. LO still wakes in the night sometimes so we take it in turn to do night shifts.
I have a quick clean up on a Thursday as this is my day off during the week and then at the weekend we both do the cleaning although to be honest he does a bit more than me as I take LO swimming on a saturday.
It's definitely a team effort in our house. I drop LO at daycare in the mornings, OH picks her up since he's out of work before me. He gets dinner going before I get home. Bath, bedtime, etc. is shared by both. The house-work type things I do myself, he takes care of the outside lawn stuff.
BUT, I told him from the very beginning that he was going to help with his daughter. This was not going to be a situation where I felt like a single parent without any help. He's glad to do it...thankfully!!
It's a struggle at times to be a working parent and take care of a house and all that goes with. Some things just don't get done like they used to but what can you do.
I go back 2 long days a week (0700-2000) My husband works full time 5 days a week (8:30-16:30) and on the days I work he takes LO to and from nursery and does all the housework, baby care, feeding, bed and bath time. The other 3 days during the week where I am not working I just do all the housework. I get loads of free time in the day as LO naps for hours and pretty much entertains herself so I would feel lazy if I didnt!
I went back to work 4 days a week right now (5 later) this week when LO turned 6 weeks. What we and DH do, he watches LO between 9pm to 1am, staying in the living room with her sleeping in the swing until then, then brings her in to me in bed where I have a bottle and formula set so when she wakes up for her 4am feed I give it to her, we go back to bed while hubby sleeps on couch (he tosses and turns and it wakes her up). I wake up about 5:50am, leaving LO in bed if she's still sleeping and hubby goes into bedroom. I get ready for work, and then LO usually wakes up about 6:30, I dress/change/feed her and we leave for daycare about 7:15am, hubby wakes up for work when we leave.
When I get off at 5, I pick her up, DH is home showering, I shower after him, play with LO, bathe/feed her and put her down to bed. DH makes dinner while I'm playing/bathing her. We eat when she sleeps and I go to bed, that's our routine.
As for housework/laundry, I do all of it. DH does all the outside work. I do make DH vacuum every morning though so I don't have to do that everyday. He usually does the dishes at night, but I wash all the bottles.
If both partners are working full time, I don't see how anyone can justify not doing half the housework/childcare. Do they think their partner is their servant?
Edit: Sorry, you asked for personal experiences. I'm probably going to be the one going back to work, and my husband will be home with LO. There's no way I'd expect him to do all the childcare/housework. Sure he'll do more than me during the week, but in evenings + weekends we'll split whatever he doesn't have time to do in the week.
When both of us were working full time (I've just started maternity leave again) I wouldn't say things were split 50/50 - more like 70/30 with me doing the majority of things. I'm lucky in that LO hasn't needed night feeds since he was 5 months old, but I've always done most of the getting up if he's needed resettling. Other than that, most of the childcare was split and we always do bath and bedtime together. Hubby gets home from work before me so he'd pick LO up, take him home and get bottles ready etc. So childcare wise it was fairly evenly split.
It's just the cooking and housework that is pretty much all down to me - he just doesn't really do much! He doesn't expect me to do it; he's not all rude and chauvinistic or anything and he admits he should do more but it's just how we do things. Now I'm heavily pregnant again then he does the heavy lifting but he's never EVER cleaned the bathroom or anything like that.
If I made a fuss then I'm sure he'd help out more but to be honest I'm happy with how things are. I'm a bit of a control freak so would just complain that he hasn't done it right anyway!
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