Why do I feel guilty when he didn't want her? - Page 4

Emma247 · Apr 14th, 2012, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonfly

Personally if that had of been done to me I would have signed what it was that meant he took nothing to do with the child and given it to my solicitor. That way I would have some sort of back up as what normally happens is the dad comes around when he knows baby is born and has a think about it. Theres a lot we dont know about this man, when the poster says he is evil and sounds a right dick I am sure she has good reason to think that and good reason to keep child away. The dad of this child is the dad who raised this child and I think she said she met someone at 14 weeks ? but sadly courts wont see all that if it goes that far. And this is the start of it, weather you run or face him he will be there, always coming after you. I wouldnt want to run from him, you would be paranoid all the time and it wouldnt look great down on record either. face him and go through the legal way, dosnt look good he was absent the whole pregnancy on his end so you got something. He isnt on the birth cert I assume to. But he will have to pay surely now for his child wont he? CSA? get in on that to. And make visits see how it goes, supervised ones.

I've still got the "contract" it's not legal and I can't prove he wrote it but it does say he doesn't want the child. He thought I got pregnant to get money off him
But I don't want a penny!

Also it's taken 12 weeks to even email after she was born, she won't fit into his lifestyle anyway!

I will stop worrying now...

Dragonfly · Apr 14th, 2012, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma247

I think I'm just going to leave it for a bit...he doesn't sound desperate to see her, like I said I think it's curiosity.
I understand everyone's opinions but I actually don't think he's that interested!

But I think as a mother I'm so protective over that little girl and I just think she's got a perfect family here and I don't really want him to hurt her.
He was violent to me and alway said if he had children he'd smack them
Etc and he's got a very short temper so I just couldn't risk anything!

If he keeps nagging he might get a pic but if he wants more then he will have to take it further, even the midwives were concerned about him!

I guess we'll see and I will just carry on as normal

I dont blame you, I would send a pic, maybe thats all he wants and will bugger off even for a while. Understandable being protective, and if he does get to see her supervised visits. Least this way your daughter cant turn around and say you never let her see her real dad even if you know what he is like.

steph. · Apr 14th, 2012, 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma247

I think I'm just going to leave it for a bit...he doesn't sound desperate to see her, like I said I think it's curiosity.
I understand everyone's opinions but I actually don't think he's that interested!

But I think as a mother I'm so protective over that little girl and I just think she's got a perfect family here and I don't really want him to hurt her.
He was violent to me and alway said if he had children he'd smack them
Etc and he's got a very short temper so I just couldn't risk anything!

If he keeps nagging he might get a pic but if he wants more then he will have to take it further, even the midwives were concerned about him!

I guess we'll see and I will just carry on as normal

If he is violent i would definately do the same. Our babies are too precious and our duty is to protect them.

larudy13 · Apr 14th, 2012, 08:14 AM

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Originally Posted by Kristin52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blah11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristin52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blah11

sorry but evil man or not, unless theres severe reported domestic violence or a really bsd criminal record, he will be granted some sort of access. Thats just the way the cookie crumbles when you conceive children with people

well where I'm from, it wouldn't happen like that.
and it should be like that everywhere.

i dont nessecarily agree but to each their own.

You don't need to agree. I'm talking about where I'm from.
you're not from here. So you'll never know.

Sorry to bring this out but I'm the usa children get taken from their mother's all the tim for father's rights
.so stating that "it doesn't happenn where I'm from" is not a valid statement...

Kristin52 · Apr 14th, 2012, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by larudy13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristin52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blah11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristin52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blah11

sorry but evil man or not, unless theres severe reported domestic violence or a really bsd criminal record, he will be granted some sort of access. Thats just the way the cookie crumbles when you conceive children with people

well where I'm from, it wouldn't happen like that.
and it should be like that everywhere.

i dont nessecarily agree but to each their own.

You don't need to agree. I'm talking about where I'm from.
you're not from here. So you'll never know.

Sorry to bring this out but I'm the usa children get taken from their mother's all the tim for father's rights
.so stating that "it doesn't happenn where I'm from" is not a valid statement...

Again, you don't live where I'm from. So in MY point of view, it is.
I'm not beating a dead horse.

creatingpeace · Apr 14th, 2012, 11:48 AM

I have not had the time to read all the responses on here but I say....congrats on meeting a fab new man...as for bio Dad RUN RUN RUN as far as you can...he will be a nightmare and not worth it for you. Also how does he know her name...sounds pretty creepy to me.

tommyg · Apr 14th, 2012, 17:19 PM

Am I reading this right?
He is in Turkey. You, BF and baby are in the UK.
He's not on the birth certificate.

I wouldn't worry about him ever trying to take you to court to get access, it will be more hastle than it's worth to him.
I would also doubt that the CSA would ever be able to approatch him for money if he is out of the country.

I think if I was in your postition then I'd try and cut him out. If hes been violent to you then I could never trust him with my child.
I'd give him no more details of your where abouts than an email address so that he can get updates of his child if he really wants them. But I am with you I'm worried as to why he's suddenly taken an intrest. There is even a bit of me that just wouldn't have even told him she was born.

**AtomicPink** · Apr 15th, 2012, 01:32 AM

Tbh after the way he treated you a previous poster is right - its your duty to protect your LO.

I'd ignore him, but I'd let LO know everything as she grows up

puddycats · Apr 15th, 2012, 03:26 AM

I wudnt even reply n is change my email address, he has no right to know ur daughter, he's not a father or a daddy, to me a daddy is sum1 who sticks around durin it all, not sum1 who tries to get to know ur baby after he has had TIME to get used to b a daddy, that's not acceptable, a women has to get used to becomin a mummy soon as she gets her bfp, a man that runs away n hits a women is nothin but a pussy, ur a fab mum n don't let him in ur life. In yrs to come ur daughter wil understand why u cut contact, if a man can hit a women he sure as hell can hit a baby. Screw him n life ur life. Xx

Emma247 · Apr 15th, 2012, 03:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tommyg

Am I reading this right?
He is in Turkey. You, BF and baby are in the UK.
He's not on the birth certificate.

I wouldn't worry about him ever trying to take you to court to get access, it will be more hastle than it's worth to him.
I would also doubt that the CSA would ever be able to approatch him for money if he is out of the country.

I think if I was in your postition then I'd try and cut him out. If hes been violent to you then I could never trust him with my child.
I'd give him no more details of your where abouts than an email address so that he can get updates of his child if he really wants them. But I am with you I'm worried as to why he's suddenly taken an intrest. There is even a bit of me that just wouldn't have even told him she was born.

Hey thanks for your reply

He's from turkey but lives near me (I lived with him a year and he's still living there now)
Also he only knew a due date, I didn't inform him on the birth of my daughter at all coz I didn't think it was worth it. But somehow he knows? He emailed me saying that someone found out for him or told him?
My BF is a registrar and said anyone can access birth records. So I think maybe he got his friend to find out? I've set my facebook to private and blocked him so it wasn't Facebook plus if it was he would have seen a pic.

Apr 14th, 2012, 11:48 AM	#36
creatingpeace Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Muskoka, Ontario, Canada Posts: 3,293	I have not had the time to read all the responses on here but I say....congrats on meeting a fab new man...as for bio Dad RUN RUN RUN as far as you can...he will be a nightmare and not worth it for you. Also how does he know her name...sounds pretty creepy to me.

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Apr 14th, 2012, 17:19 PM	#37
tommyg Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 4,298	Am I reading this right? He is in Turkey. You, BF and baby are in the UK. He's not on the birth certificate. I wouldn't worry about him ever trying to take you to court to get access, it will be more hastle than it's worth to him. I would also doubt that the CSA would ever be able to approatch him for money if he is out of the country. I think if I was in your postition then I'd try and cut him out. If hes been violent to you then I could never trust him with my child. I'd give him no more details of your where abouts than an email address so that he can get updates of his child if he really wants them. But I am with you I'm worried as to why he's suddenly taken an intrest. There is even a bit of me that just wouldn't have even told him she was born.

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Apr 15th, 2012, 01:32 AM	#38
AtomicPink Mum (Mom) BabyandBump Team Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 27,406	Tbh after the way he treated you a previous poster is right - its your duty to protect your LO. I'd ignore him, but I'd let LO know everything as she grows up

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Apr 15th, 2012, 03:26 AM	#39
puddycats Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: oldham Posts: 1,516	I wudnt even reply n is change my email address, he has no right to know ur daughter, he's not a father or a daddy, to me a daddy is sum1 who sticks around durin it all, not sum1 who tries to get to know ur baby after he has had TIME to get used to b a daddy, that's not acceptable, a women has to get used to becomin a mummy soon as she gets her bfp, a man that runs away n hits a women is nothin but a pussy, ur a fab mum n don't let him in ur life. In yrs to come ur daughter wil understand why u cut contact, if a man can hit a women he sure as hell can hit a baby. Screw him n life ur life. Xx

Status: Offline

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