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Old Feb 16th, 2018, 21:21 PM   1
Mum (Mom)
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Need opinions please

Hi ladies,

I have a question for you as I'd like opinions on this situation. It's a long post, please stay with me haha.

We are expecting our 4th and final baby and found out today that baby is a girl. For 5 years we have struggled to find girl names we both love -- you know, we want a name we both feel is 'it'.

Anyways, the only name we both really love is Evelyn. And I have loved the name since I first saw The Mummy 🙈 So with that said, it's been my main choice for some time.

My brother just got engaged about 6 months ago and over the dinner they announced they had dibs on particular baby names. For some reason I can't remember them saying they wanted Evelyn. They also mentioned not having children for a while so perhaps I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been. They have been together 2 years.

After announcing our news today, my sister family texted that she wanted the baby to be Evelyn, and my brother and his fiancée got sort of weird about it.

I don't feel that it is fair to tell people to not use a name because they want it, my sister and I have always believed in first come, first serve. I also feel that I have wanted this name for a long time and I want to name my baby Evelyn. I guess I feel that just because you have been together for 2 years doesn't mean that it trumps my own interest in the name for more than 5 years. And what if they never have a girl? Do I just 'settle' for a different name?

The part I am struggling with now is that they told me it was his fiancées middle name and also a family name that her family has used several times, so it is very meaningful to them.

I don't want to be insensitive at all, but it isn't like I knew about that and had I had a girl before they met she would have been Evelyn. I have poured over names for so long now and just feel frustrated by the situation.

What would you do? What are your thoughts?

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Old Feb 17th, 2018, 03:08 AM   2
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I would 100% use the name. Tjey cant ask someone not to use a name for a hypothetical baby they may or may not have!

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Old Feb 17th, 2018, 03:17 AM   3
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If it really means that much to them, and was a family name with a special meaning, compared to something I just liked, I would try and compromise - maybe use it as a middle name and pick something else for a first name. That being said I would be really upset if someone used the name we’ve had picked for years since ttc - which is why we’ve never mentioned it to anyone! It’s really difficult and sounds like someone is going to be upset - I would talk to them about how long you’ve wanted it and what it means to you, plus the fact that you are pregnant and they aren’t, and see how they feel. You don’t want to cause a rift and have the name tainted as that will make it ugly.

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Old Feb 18th, 2018, 07:49 AM   4
Mum (Mom)
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I would use it if it means a lot to you. No one owns names. I find the whole concept ridiculous. And they may end up with all boys. Or, no children at all.

And if they do have a girl, one day? Heck, they can still name her, Evelyn. Lots of families have more than one person with the same name. If you end up with two Evelyns at a family dinner... well, you can just laugh when both of them turn when their name is called.

Names don't make a person special. It's their personality that makes them who they are.

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Old Feb 18th, 2018, 14:00 PM   5
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I'd use it. They might end up not even ever having a girl!

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Old Feb 18th, 2018, 14:13 PM   6
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Normally my opinion is first come first served but I also am not sure how I would feel using it knowing it was her middle name so I’d probably be looking at other opinions, it’s frustrating but there are so many beautiful names out there.

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Old Feb 19th, 2018, 14:44 PM   7
Mum (Mom)
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Agree with take. I'm typically first come first serve...but I feel like they do have a legit reason for wanting the name. But you are pregnant with a girl, so you do get first pick....but I would think about their side too and why they like the name.

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Old Feb 19th, 2018, 18:45 PM   8
Mum (Mom)
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I would use it. There can be 2 Evelyns if they use it later. Some family naming traditions make it so many cousins have the same name. My husband's family has this and there isn't any confusion... (although make sure you aren't going to be upset with them later).

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Old Feb 20th, 2018, 10:49 AM   9
Mum (Mom)
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I also would use it. I have the same name as my cousin. No one is upset about it.

Heck, Evelyn is a somewhat popular name, so I don't think theres a issue. The idea of reserving names makes me crack up.

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Old Feb 20th, 2018, 14:20 PM   10
Mum (Mom)
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I would use it, they may never have a girl or children at all so it seems a bit silly to say you can't use it when you're having a girl and have wanted it for ages

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