Hi,

Just want some other peoples opinions really...

Me and my boyfriend have been together for coming up to a year and a half, I am now 36 weeks pregnant with my first and he has 2 children from 2 previous relationships.

One of them has his surname and one has the mothers...

Im really not sure about the whole surname business and it has been a sore talking point since we found out we were pregnant!

He really believes a child should have their fathers surname, and even if we had a double barrel he wants his at the end. But I really dont like the idea that my baby will have a different surname to me and marriage isn't really on the cards. And if we weren't to stay together my child would have a different surname than me .... and if I had other children with a future partner they would have different surnames.

I don't know if I am just thinking too much into it all but the whole situation really upsets me because I know how much it means to him but he doesn't seem to get my point of view and just says that 1 day I will have the same surname.

I try to avoid the conversation as it ends up in a big argument but obviously its getting close now and it needs to be decided?

Personally, I believe the child should have the fathers surname if the parents are together at the time of registering the birth, but I see your point about having a different surname to your child. I think the double barrelled option is best, both surnames will be in it so I don't see that it matters whose comes first or second.

Hope you can sort something soon so you can stop worrying

x

I think the same as fairy, although I think the double names are silly. Not sure in the rest of the world, but here in Canada the child can legally use just the last one in the double name and its okay even if their birth cert. says two names. My DHs DD has a double last name but that doesnt stop all of the legal paperwork from using just his last name. Moms last name isnt even concidered.

Do what you think is best!!

I'm not with the father of my baby at the moment but she's just as much his as she is mine so we've decided on going with a double-barrel, I wouldn't worry about it too much! x

In all honesty I think it should be a fair decision. The baby is both of yours so to exclude one persons wants is selfish. You should act in the childs best interests, and if you and your oh will both continue to be in babys life if you split i think it needs to be fair and i would advice q double barrelled surname the mums name then the fathers is how it normally goes, in future you can always drop the last part if needs want.
My son has double barrelled with ohs name at end and ive never regretted it I'm happy our son got both our names and that I was fair to oh and respect him as a father.