A week away from lap/hysteroscopic surgery and closing in on the 1-yr TTC anniversary
I am still in shock. Next Wednesday, I am due to have surgery to remove cysts, polyps, fibroids, and to confirm endometriosis. On Sunday, DH and I will pass the one year mark for TTC our first child. I've been dreading this anniversary for months.
This morning, I took a pregnancy test for no particular reason- I'd had been cramping so I knew that AF was on the way, but no sign of spotting which usually happens in the days leading up to AF. I hadn't been charting temps, so I didn't know exactly when I ovulated, but I was wondering if I might be a day or two late.
I got a clear positive on an internet cheapie.
No squinting -- the second line was just as clear as the first. My hands started shaking and I couldn't believe my eyes. I pulled out my last Clearblue digital test -- the one I've been hanging onto for over a year for the day when I got an ambiguous answer on a cheapie.
Less than a minute: the word "Pregnant".
I started screaming and crying and rushed out of the bathroom to tell DH. It was around 7:00 and he was still asleep and I know I scared the crap out of him! (So much for my plans over the past year to tell him in a sweet romantic way -- I'm sure the heart attack I nearly gave him is something he'll always remember though...)
I took a third test -- an EPT, and the positive crosshairs showed up immediately.
I am still in shock. Three different tests. Three clear positives.
A week away from surgery. Six weeks after learning from a doctor that I'm infertile and probably can't conceive without help and that surgery was the first step. Two weeks after we finally said F it to all the secrecy and heartache and told all our family and close friends about our struggle to conceive over the last year, and about the upcoming surgeries.
A year of tears and anger and hope and despair.
It finally happened.
During one of the months that I put the BB thermometer in a drawer. During on the months that I refused to torture myself by signing onto Fertility Friend and staring at my chart everyday. During the first months since the early cycles of our TTC that I didn't think twice about having a glass of wine, or eating junk food, or setting an alarm to wake up early to temp, or remembering to hold my pee for an OPK, or telling my husband the sex schedule for the month.
I am so happy, but I'll a little embarrassed, too, because I feel like a walking cliche.
I am happy, don't get me wrong, and I am cautiously optimistic even though I know it's early, and I haven't gone in for betas yet, and I know a miscarriage is definitely a possibility given all the problems I have going on internally.
I always hated it when people said, relax, it will happen when you least expect it. I still HATE that phrase ("relax it'll happen") and I will NEVER tell another women struggling to get pregnant to relax.
I think it is entirely coincidental that it happened now.
I think it's maybe even a miracle given all the issues going on with my reproductive parts. Or maybe it's just my husband's super sperm that have been struggling to route through the booby trapped maze in my body.
Even though it looks like I relaxed and then it happened, I think it's more that I gave up and got an awesome surprise.
This was a complete fluke, but I'm hanging on for dear life.
Wow lemon tea, there is something in the air! (I have posted below with a similar story, minus the surgery). You say you let go of the temping etc. So did I, my doctor said no temping and no opk, just regular sex so my husband held me to it! Congrats, and all the best for a healthy and happy 9 months!
Thanks everyone. Just got the phone call from the fertility specialist's office. Our beta number is 162! This is actually happening. WOW. Have to go in for another test on Thursday, but I think this is it. I can't believe it finally happened.
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