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Old Oct 25th, 2009, 06:04 AM   1
lisacaton1980
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I feel so useless


I have been combination feeding since LO arrived early as he didn't have the energy to BF for long and needed a top up. He is now 3wks old and putting on weight and manages to BF for upto an hour. The last few days though every time I put him to the breast he starts crying. He will attach himself and then pull away and carry on like this for some time. Occassionally he will attach himself but it is really getting me down.

I feel like such a failure. I was already feeling down by the fact the it didn't seem like I could supply enough milk for him. (When I express I only manage 30ml) and now it seems as though he doesn't even want to try from me anymore.

I have been so miserable and down this weekend and feel that I have also ruined it for my husband. He went back to work last week and was looking forward to spending the weekend with us. All I have done is cry everytime I try to feed LO and feel like such a failure. It always seems worse when he wakes in the night as OH gets up for work at 5am and I can't keep LO quiet as he won't feed from me. I find myself getting frustrated with LO not wanting to feed which upsets me even more as I feel like I am letting everyone down.



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Old Oct 25th, 2009, 07:11 AM   2
Lu28
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Oh hon, first of all I just want to give you huge You are doing a brilliant job. This is undoubtedly the most difficult time for breastfeeding but it WILL get better.

I wonder if LO has wind? That used to make Aisling pull off like that and cry. It might also be that he's getting a bit frustrated waiting for let down so if you can, maybe express for just a small time before a feed so LO is getting milk straight away?

Please don't put too much pressure on yourself as far as keeping LO quiet at night and having a cheery weekend are concerned. If your OH is very tired, I'm sure he can sleep in a spare room or on a sofa every now and then to catch up. You've only very recently had a baby and it's too much to expect that it'll all be perfect so quickly. I'd say if you asked him about it, he wouldn't be concerned in any way about how his weekend has gone. I was very teary for the first few weeks as are alot of women, it's just how things go.

It will get better



 
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Old Oct 25th, 2009, 07:14 AM   3
Donna35
 
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You're not letting anyone down hun you're doing a great job. Maybe LO has a latching problem - maybe consider seeing a breastfeeding expert they can help a lot I believe. Try not to upset yourself so much - you're a new mum and all this is daunting at first but trust me it will get easier.



 
Old Oct 25th, 2009, 14:19 PM   4
lisacaton1980
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Thanks everyone, I always feel better when I visit this website. OH took me out today to help my SIL find a new car. This helped as it was the first time I had left the house all week. I managed to express 50ml today and gave this to LO and then tried BF and he actually latched on for 20mins! Maybe expressing beforehand is the answer.



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Old Oct 25th, 2009, 14:55 PM   5
Lorien
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Yeah, he might be pulling off and crying if your letdown is too fast and he is getting a snootful of milk unexpectedly. Expressing a tiny bit before you feed may well be the answer.



 
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Old Oct 25th, 2009, 17:14 PM   6
Samantha675
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You are not a failure, remember you two are just learning what to do, it takes a while to get it down! Could be a flow issue if pumping before helped, I know www.kellymom.com has advice on how to help with flow issues.



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Old Oct 26th, 2009, 00:50 AM   7
sara k
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dont worry ...keep trying...u il win...



 
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Old Oct 27th, 2009, 09:37 AM   8
Lucy Lu
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Just a thought lisa - it's not because your breasts are quite full is it? We had a problem where my little one couldn't attach because the boob was too engorged, so he'd get on, take a few sucks and then pull away all frustrated. It helped me to express a tiny bit off first (just with my hand, no pump) to loosen them up a bit.



 
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