Exclusive breastfeeding with no ebm - finding it hard again.
I am still finding it a little overwhelming bf my LO as she won't accept a bottle. I had to cancel keeping in touch days at work recently which made me feel poo on various levels and I feel upset now when my OH goes out because I want to go out too! The longest I have been away from LO since she was born is around 2 hours and even then I was close enough to come feed her if I needed to, and it's only happened a few times. Also I couldn't relax anyway cos I knew she might get hungry any time.
She now doesn't sleep till 10pm. I want to go to a housewarming party 10 mins drive away on Saturday, just for a couple of hours, but it starts at 8pm and wouldn't be suitable to take LO to with me (she'd be cluster feeding anyway, probably).
Sometimes I find it really quite upsetting.
I want to try BLW (I think) but have to go back to work when she is 7 and a half months old.
Apart from OH (who is wonderful - but also a man who will never be in my situation, if you know what I mean - it's not the same as having support from someone who has been there), my family are so unsupportive (I was ff obviously lol)... they insist I should wean at 4 months to get some life back.
I don't know anyone else who is bf at all - all my mum friends/acquaintances are now using formula and going on nights out, shopping, getting their hair done etc etc etc. None of them bf for longer than 5 weeks.
My OH gives me a lie-in and basically looks after LO as much as possible at weekends, so I just have to feed her, and we do nice activities together as a family. That helps, but I am still with LO the whole time and can't go off and do anything on my own really.
I could go out after she is asleep but to be honest I am ready for sleep then too!
To anyone who has had the same problem - any advice? Did you manage to go out at all? Were there any little things you used to think or do that helped?
I could have written that! My BIL had his girlfriend down to stay and everyone went out but me, because I had to be here for the cluster feeds etc. I don't mind really, I want to be here, but sometimes I find it hard. She has also started waking in the evenings and night so I can't even go out once she's asleep.
The thing that helps me the most is to look at pictures of how much she's changed in such a short time without me realising it - it puts it into perspective how short a time she is going to be a baby and need me like this.
I have to go back to work one month from today and she still won't take a bottle, and trying each day is hard but I have to do it. The thing is, it hurts me to see her taking milk from something other than me (even though it is my milk!) I'm a bag of mixed feelings, me.
I have the same mixed emotions about the bottle. It's hard isn't it.
We were invited to a Christmas meal with a group of friends where each couple was to bring one course. We agreed to go and to cook the main course, and I was looking forward to it as it would be pretty much the only social event I will get to this Christmas. I bought my LO an outfit to wear, and got little presents for the host's children... but then she arranged it to start late in the evening without checking with us first, which I thought she was going to do.
I asked if there was any way we could rearrange it to start a little earlier (to start any time up to 5pmish) because of my LO's cluster feeding in the evenings (and also because of her bedtime) but she said no because her 2yr old son is going to lots of parties so she has no days free. She was quite rude about it (in my opinion), and she seems to be quite adamant that my LO should be put upstairs in a travel cot while we have the meal. She has a LO 2 weeks older than mine who is ff.
I (politely) said we would have to pull out, and she has now changed the time to earlier saying that she has had to cancel a party she had already paid for. I am quite sure she is angry that she had to change things because of what she sees as me being precious about my LO. I feel as if it has tainted the whole thing with unpleasantness.
That turned into a bit of a moan... I guess the point is, that is another thing that has got me down this week. I feel like if the bf has spoiled the meal in a way - even though really I know it hasn't. I wouldn't have put LO in the travel cot even if she was on formula. I should probably have said about the time when I was invited, before agreeing to go. I just assumed that would be arranged when the date was arranged and I also assumed it would be earlier anyway because the host has young ones herself.
Sigh... sorry for going on... I have eaten a whole chocolate orange to myself and even that hasn't perked me up really
It gets better in that you get used to it and just accept it. We're 21weeks now and like you I've never left him for longer than 2hours. My mum isn't really sympathetic as she exc. bf us and back then it was just what you did. It's odd to her that people would express iyswim? She just sees it as part of motherhood that you're permanently attached to your baby. I don't think she realises what a hungry baby he is though as she's offered to take him while we go for a meal for our anniversary but he'd never tolerate being apart from me that long, especially with someone he's only met twice!!
We're starting blw in 5weeks time and I go back to work when he's 9months. He's going to have to have formula from a cup then, I think it's the breast milk he won't take rather than the bottle or cup as he'll drink herbal tea from a cup.
I get frustrated sometimes at things like not being able to go to the cinema or whatever but it's only for a few more months and you'll never get this time back
When Hazel was a few days old I took a trolley dash around Primark to find a bunch of tops I could feed discreetly in. (I also carry a scarf and muslins with me all the time) I practiced whenever we had visitors at home before heading out into the big bad world, and I'm really glad I got it sussed early. Nobody even knew
The thing I'm struggling more with is if she gets hungry when theres a long car ride, or when she was worse with colic, trapped wind in public is a bit eek with the crying :/
Be kind to yourself.
We'll be off to my works xmas dinner tomorrow eve (all being well) we're not staying to eat, but at least showing our faces feels normal enough.
It's okay to have mixed feelings - you know it's not forever but hell, labour doesn't last forever either but it doesn't stop us screaming throughout!
Guilt is now a permanent fixture in your life as you're a mummy, I know, but try not to feel bad for feeling the way you do. It's normal. I sometimes get a bit grumpy that life hasn't changed so much for husband and he can leave the house alone and not take a changing bag with him, but then I think how I HAVE to do that in a month and I get weepy. It's okay to feel mixed up and up and down. Just remember you're doing an excellent job.
I know it might sound silly... but I spent £50 in Primark (12 tops and 6 jumpers - just don't ask me to think who got a slave wage to make it possible ) Oh and a couple of M&S nursing bras... and i really was set to go. Some of the droopy front jumpers actually allow me to slide LOs head inside and cover her and my boob
Nursing clothes are just so expensive.
And ppl have been really fine about me feeding, I think the general public know better these days.
Now I stop to think about it, I'm a little shocked how 'fine' I've been about it. I've fed infront of all our family members, half the village at a coffee morning in the chapel, hubby's muso friends... I think I just decided early on that I wasn't going to let anyone deny me or my daughter as normal a life as we need.
I wont feed in public, ill go to my car! So i dont tend to leave the house, if i do its with ppl who are like wise!! Ive not left my lo longer than 40 mins, and that was to take my cat to the vets. By the time i got bk he was screaming his head off and my poor mum didnt no what to do!
To get me through it i just keep saying its not 4 long, theres hopefully 60+ christmas' in the future but theres only guna b one xmas were ill b feeding him! i still cant believe i wont b drinking xx
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