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Old Nov 18th, 2017, 19:51 PM   11
Zephram
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Totally agree with the PPs who have suggested you might have PND. You’ve said that you’re ‘happy’, but the thing is, post natal depression doesn’t necessarily present as being ‘sad’. An awful lot of the time it presents as being anxious, finding it hard to cope, being irritable and/or angry and feeling hopeless about the situation. Switching to formula feeding will do nothing for these feelings. Yes, in the early days breastfeeding is time consuming, but it gets easier quickly and whether you are breastfeeding or formula feeding your baby will want to be held much of the time, be hard to put down and will absolutely screw with your me time. We all go through this as new mums no matter how we choose to feed our babies. I’d encourage you to continue breastfeeding as it really is easier to whip out a boob than make a bottle of formula.

I’d also encourage you to go and talk to a doctor about the way you’re feeling as from reading your posts I absolutely think you’re suffering from anxiety - post natal anxiety is a real thing and often occurs alongside post natal depression. As I’ve already mentioned it doesn’t necessarily manifest as feeling sad at all. Trust me on this, I had PND after my second and I never really felt sad, I mostly felt anxious and irritated all the time and I found it hard to cope. It is okay to ask for help with these feelings.



 
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Old Nov 19th, 2017, 03:41 AM   12
IchigoMewMew
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I also agree with the other ladies that you should seriously consider discussing how you're feeling with a professional, try googling Edinburgh ppd scale and have a look, those questions are routinely asked in the uk at post natal checks.
It's quite normal for newborns to feed a lot to build up supply in the early weeks but if she is truly constantly hungry it could indicate a supply issue or tongue tie. it would be worth trying to see a lactation consultant before throwing in the towel completely, some issues are very easily fixed. Or phone la leche league for advice.
I've recently started formula feeding dd in the day as i'm going back to work, unless you have a perfect prep machine it can actually take up to an hour to prepare a bottle because you need to let the water cool down before putting it in the bottle then cool it down before giving it to the baby. Then you have to carry them about everywhere when you're out and sterilise them etc. If you make the days up in advance and refridgerate them you still have to warm it up by running under the hot tap or standing in a bowl of hot water which can take a while. I can't imagine the faf of bottle feeding a new born (although I'm sure it just becomes a normal part of the routine after a little while!), like a pp said much easier to whip a boob out!



 
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Old Nov 19th, 2017, 03:59 AM   13
IchigoMewMew
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Also there are nowhere near enough hours in the day to look after a newborn and do all the other things you say he's expecting, he needs to help out. Men really don't get it they think we spend all day playing with the baby with our feet up and catching up with sleep when the baby is sleeping and fail to notice on their days off that we barely sit down all day! Not when DD was quite so young but a bit bigger I found time to blitz the house over a few days and since then it makes life a lot easier to quickly clean things as you go than having great piles to deal with every week or so especially in the kitchen. I know it's sooo much easier said than done with the physical changes but don't beat yourself up about your weight, 6 weeks is no time at all. Even going for walks is a good start even if it's only 5 minutes to start with then as you recover more you can get 5-10 minute workouts online to squeeze into your day but breastfeeding doesn't actually have many weight loss benefits until the 3-6month mark your body is too busy producing and regulating a supply before then and even then I'm losing very slowly, not actually much weight change but I'm fitting in pre pregnancy clothes now without having to fight to do them up! (Except some tops still 3 cup sizes bigger!)



 
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Old Nov 20th, 2017, 08:24 AM   14
noon_child
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I agree with a lot of what has already been said. In regards to getting things done round the house, you became a mother NOT a housewife; the two jobs are NOT the same and being a mother doesn't automatically mean becoming a housekeeper. Your job is to keep her alive (and as you've found out, that takes up way more time than you ever think possible) and it isn't just your milk that does this but also your body heat (babies cant regulate this themselves but your body temp helps them do so when skin to skin) heart rate and beathing (babies heart rates and breathing can be erratic, but regulate when held).

I think all new mums go through that period where the reality and the expectation collide and you feel shell shocked. Your desire for 5 minutes alone isn't unreasonable, but hopefully learning more about why that may not be possible all the time in these first few weeks will help you feel calmer - you aren't doing anything wrong, your baby isn't different to other babies, it just can be hugely overwhelming.

It can always be beneficial to talk to professionals about both your feelings and baby's feeding. Without seeing her feed, it would be difficult to say whether what she is doing is normal or not. Babies root for the breast when seeking comfort as well as when hungry (so if she's cold, needs to burp, frightened, tired etc.) so it's hard from afar to make and conclusions about whether there are any issues with breastfeeding or not. Naps of about 20 minutes at this age I'd say is normal but waking after 5 mins maybe means she didn't get quite what she needed - but of course that may not be milk, if what she wants is to be held. Are you offering both breasts at each feed?



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Old Nov 24th, 2017, 16:17 PM   15
Babybum35
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Hi. A lot of people have commented on the housework side of things and while I agree it housework should not be important and there can be ways to get things done while breastfeeding. I am still breastfeeding my 2 year old and am often chained to a couch or bed and I weigh a good 30 pounds more than I did before baby and I get frustrated cause everyone says you are supposed to loose weight not keep it while bf. However that's a myth some people like me go through metabolic changes and just don't lose the weight. That said a couple things stand out to me. You smoke no judging I promise but just like it can disrupt growth and nutrition in the womb I would guess it could disrupt your milk supply. I would wonder if she's dehydrated or hungry. Maybe you should give her a formula bottle and see what happens. Also if your fiance is an alcoholic cheater why do you care what he thinks of you? I think you are angry at him and maybe at yourself and that frustration is causing you to resent your kid. As a daughter of someone who resents me I want to say its not okay to be angry at your child for having needs. She is weeks old and did not ask for this situation you willingly brought her into it so grow up take care of your kid and it will get better



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