Forum Rules

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Oct 17th, 2015, 14:31 PM   1
Waiting To Try (WTT)
New BnB member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2

Future mother in law

Hi ladies,

This is my first post...
Little background: mother in law has not offered to help either physically or financially with our wedding. I feel that she shouldn't even be thanked in the toasts at the wedding as there was no help!
Today topped it off when she asked whether we would take our car to the wedding venue (in major city-super difficult parking). I said yes and it will be difficult as we need to take everything from drinks, decoration to clothing and that we can't take the train due to those reasons. She then honestly replied that she "doesn't care how we get the stuff there" (whilst half laughing). I for once in my life was quick thinking and replied:"I assume as long as you have bubbles to drink at the wedding you probably don't care" (whilst half laughing).
Surely, your family should offer to help driving stuff to the wedding or at least offer it?!?
I am fuming and her and his sisters expectations are outrageous

Status: Offline
Old Oct 24th, 2015, 10:00 AM   2
Waiting To Try (WTT)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 5,061
From what you've said it's hard to tell. It seems that you are ruder than she was. She has raised your future husband surely that is worthy of thanks, I don't see why she should be expected to help with your wedding, financially or otherwise.

Status: Offline
Old Jan 20th, 2016, 12:12 PM   3
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: China
Posts: 102
Maybe you had a bit high hopes? It's a person with totally different life experience.

My MIL is so hard! I mean she's a kind person and everything, but was raised up in a very different way, so lots of what she says sounds like complaining, accusations or plain meanness to me.

She didn't pay anything for the wedding, but she came! They even came for christmas and prepared gifts. She sometimes cooks for my guy. There's lots to be happy about.

So, I respect her and try to avoid her, atleast until I develop thicker skin :P
Also, I don't want her help, it just makes things complicated.
She does her thing, I'll do mine, we'll get along.

I always remain polite though, and leave the room if I feel I might sass her. (respecting the older generation and so on, growing old must be hard)

Status: Offline
Old Jan 20th, 2016, 12:23 PM   4
Pregnant (Expecting)
BnB Elite
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 17,178
To be honest no, I wouldn't expect it.

Status: Offline
Old Jan 24th, 2016, 12:08 PM   5
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Londoner currently living as an alien in NYC, USA
Posts: 3,342
While not knowing the full background to your husbands upbringing, I would say you don't thank parents at a wedding for helping with the party. You thank them for bringing you up! I would not leave her out of the toasts. I don't think she is required to help at all with your wedding day. Whilst it would be nice if she offered, I don't think you should expect it. I also don't think you should look to battle with her as it will only cause strife for your husband. Take the high road if you can.

Status: Offline
Old Jan 27th, 2016, 00:06 AM   6
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 11
It seem like your are rude than she was.

Status: Offline
Old Jul 6th, 2016, 00:03 AM   7
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 11
Honestly you shouldn't really expect much from her its completely her choice whether she wants to help with the wedding or not. So just accept the fact and carry on with your preparations.

Status: Offline