Missing a VIP @my wedding..

MadameJ · Apr 13th, 2012, 14:46 PM

I'll apologise first off as I know this is meant to be a happy,excited n joyful section but if I post it any where else i'll no doubt get ignored or telt to piss off

Anyways doing all this planning and paying deposits etc I try my hardest to not think about that one thing that will make me break down n cry but how am I meant to plan one of thee most important days of my life without my mum?

My mum passed away 5 years ago and although I have grieved and come to terms with it,I still struggle to think of my big day without her.I plan on having a photo of her attached to my bouquet and I am also planning on having a seat for her on the top table which will have a glass of red wine sitting there waiting for her. But my problem is I'm the one doing the speeches as no one else wants to do one soooo I'm going to have to mention those that couldn't be there....how do I do this without freaking out n blubbing like crazy?

I hate this,I'm meant to be a grown up with 2 kids but jeez I want my mum!!!

aly888 · Apr 13th, 2012, 15:18 PM

Your mum will be with you on that day, as she is every day, in your heart and your mind. Chances are you probably will break down and cry, but so what? She is your mum and the one person you want there drinking that red wine more than anyone else. I think you are brave to do the speeches, and your mum will be proud

x

MadameJ · Apr 13th, 2012, 15:36 PM

Oh I know she'll be with us I have no doubt in that,she made her presence known on the day my daughter was born because she was born on my mums anniversary!!

I know il cry,a lot n that's my worry...I'm a horrible cryer,I pull some very unattractive faces n just dread the pictures afterwards

in all seriousness though I worry what my dad will be like!

dizzy65 · Apr 13th, 2012, 23:41 PM

aly888 · Apr 14th, 2012, 03:14 AM

does your venue have somewhere private for you to retreat to if it does become too much? I know it's not best practice for the bride to disappear during the speeches (especially when it's her doing them) but it might be nice knowing that you can get out of the spotlight and away from the cameras if you have to

And seriously, who doesn't pull faces when they cry?! I know when I cry I resemble a cross between a bull dog chewing a bee and a woman in her 38th hour of intense labour

MadameJ · Apr 14th, 2012, 06:05 AM

The venue has beautiful grounds so I'm sure if I need to escape I'll just go for sme fresh air!

I had to laugh cause I was always told I was a beautiful crier( OH bless him ) but that was only cause I used to hold the dramatic whaling till he was out of earshot lol!

Babydreams321 · Apr 16th, 2012, 11:13 AM

Im in the same boat sweetie .. my mum died 14 months ago & i just KNOW itll be an extremely emotional day for me ..
Ive done the same, i have a locket with a photo in attached to my bouquet & have had a personalised candle written which will go next to her photo all day... but yes.......the whole day is a tad overshadowed by her death the closer i get :0( xx

MadameJ · Apr 16th, 2012, 15:03 PM

Aw I'm so sorry for your loss! To be blunt it bloody sucks!!

Last thing I want is for everyone to be upset n a wreck on a day I'm meant to remember for the rest of my life but I just know its gonna happen! I want everyone to have happy funny memories of my mum so was thinking about doing a wee medley of her fav songs and get all her sisters and my cousins(and everyone else) up dancing for it...my mum was always the first on n the last off the dance floor! Is that a really dumb idea?

aly888 · Apr 17th, 2012, 03:16 AM

I think that's a lovely idea. Everyone who knows your mum will know exactly why you've chosen that and it's a great way of bringing your mums memory to life

Apr 13th, 2012, 14:46 PM	#1
MadameJ Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 525	Missing a VIP @my wedding.. I'll apologise first off as I know this is meant to be a happy,excited n joyful section but if I post it any where else i'll no doubt get ignored or telt to piss off Anyways doing all this planning and paying deposits etc I try my hardest to not think about that one thing that will make me break down n cry but how am I meant to plan one of thee most important days of my life without my mum? My mum passed away 5 years ago and although I have grieved and come to terms with it,I still struggle to think of my big day without her.I plan on having a photo of her attached to my bouquet and I am also planning on having a seat for her on the top table which will have a glass of red wine sitting there waiting for her. But my problem is I'm the one doing the speeches as no one else wants to do one soooo I'm going to have to mention those that couldn't be there....how do I do this without freaking out n blubbing like crazy? I hate this,I'm meant to be a grown up with 2 kids but jeez I want my mum!!!

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Apr 13th, 2012, 15:18 PM	#2
aly888 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Bedford, UK Posts: 7,127	Your mum will be with you on that day, as she is every day, in your heart and your mind. Chances are you probably will break down and cry, but so what? She is your mum and the one person you want there drinking that red wine more than anyone else. I think you are brave to do the speeches, and your mum will be proud x

Status: Offline

Apr 13th, 2012, 15:36 PM	#3
MadameJ Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 525	Oh I know she'll be with us I have no doubt in that,she made her presence known on the day my daughter was born because she was born on my mums anniversary!! I know il cry,a lot n that's my worry...I'm a horrible cryer,I pull some very unattractive faces n just dread the pictures afterwards in all seriousness though I worry what my dad will be like!

Status: Offline

Apr 13th, 2012, 23:41 PM	#4
dizzy65 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: BC canada Posts: 11,865

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Apr 14th, 2012, 03:14 AM	#5
aly888 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Bedford, UK Posts: 7,127	does your venue have somewhere private for you to retreat to if it does become too much? I know it's not best practice for the bride to disappear during the speeches (especially when it's her doing them) but it might be nice knowing that you can get out of the spotlight and away from the cameras if you have to And seriously, who doesn't pull faces when they cry?! I know when I cry I resemble a cross between a bull dog chewing a bee and a woman in her 38th hour of intense labour

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 06:05 AM	#6
MadameJ Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 525	The venue has beautiful grounds so I'm sure if I need to escape I'll just go for sme fresh air! I had to laugh cause I was always told I was a beautiful crier( OH bless him ) but that was only cause I used to hold the dramatic whaling till he was out of earshot lol!

Status: Offline

Apr 16th, 2012, 11:13 AM	#7
Babydreams321 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 1,489	Im in the same boat sweetie .. my mum died 14 months ago & i just KNOW itll be an extremely emotional day for me .. Ive done the same, i have a locket with a photo in attached to my bouquet & have had a personalised candle written which will go next to her photo all day... but yes.......the whole day is a tad overshadowed by her death the closer i get :0( xx

Status: Offline

Apr 16th, 2012, 15:03 PM	#8
MadameJ Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 525	Aw I'm so sorry for your loss! To be blunt it bloody sucks!! Last thing I want is for everyone to be upset n a wreck on a day I'm meant to remember for the rest of my life but I just know its gonna happen! I want everyone to have happy funny memories of my mum so was thinking about doing a wee medley of her fav songs and get all her sisters and my cousins(and everyone else) up dancing for it...my mum was always the first on n the last off the dance floor! Is that a really dumb idea?

Status: Offline

Apr 17th, 2012, 03:16 AM	#9
aly888 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Bedford, UK Posts: 7,127	I think that's a lovely idea. Everyone who knows your mum will know exactly why you've chosen that and it's a great way of bringing your mums memory to life

Status: Offline

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