I really wanted to write a little something about my two labour experiences in the hope that it helps others come to terms with their C Sections and choice of pain relief.

In September 2009 I ended up having a C Section and despite knowing deep down that it couldn't have been avoided, I still felt I was to blame. It has taken me until now, after the birth of my second son, to understand and appreciate what I went through.

My waters ruptured spontaneously with my first born and it didn't take long before my contractions were unbearable. I never felt they were 'painful' but from the off I had this unbearable urge to empty my bowels / push and was unable to resist.

At only 2cms dilated I realised I wasn't going to cope and after an hour when I was 4cms, I asked for an epidural.

Pushing was a relief as I was finally allowed to do what my body had been telling me to do all along, however my son never descended. It was discovered he was transverse (so his ear was facing the exit as opposed to the crown of his head). I was taken to theatre where they tried turning him but after a couple of attempts they decided that a c section was the only option.

I felt that I failed at coping with the pain, that I failed to push and that I didn't experience a 'proper labour'.

When I fell pregnant again, I did everything possible to allow me to have a vbac (vaginal birth after c section). I joined a pregnancy yoga class, bounced religiously on my ball, attended vbac classes and battled with the hospital to not be continuously monitored etc.

At 12 days overdue I was scheduled to be induced. At that point I finally agreed that I would be monitored and have a canula as the risks of rupture / other complications would increase. Thankfully, although I was livid at the time, there was no room on the labour ward so after waiting all day I ended staying overnight. At 4am I started contracting and soon after was confirmed to be in labour thereby beating the induction.

The contractions were like period pains and not dissimilar to what I felt last time but this time there was no urge to go to the loo making them so much more bearable. I breathed through them and just concentrated on relaxing instead of tensing up.

Even when I accepted Gas and Air, I don't think I particularly needed it. In fact, when it came to pushing the gas and air just got in the way and messed up my breathing so I stopped using it.

My waters burst right at the end this time and I immediately got the urge to push - it was exactly the same sensation I had from 2cms with my last labour but this time I must have been 10cms as soon after my 2nd son was born vaginally.

I now know that what they say is true, every labour is different. I couldn't have coped without an epidural last time but this time I didn't even need Gas and Air. I also know my body can birth vaginally and due to factors outside of my control, I had to have a c section last time.

My body didn't fail me and I'm not a wimp. I got unlucky last time and for 2 years I punished myself for no reason.

If people can labour without drugs - good for them. If they can labour vaginally - good for them. But at the end of the day, you do what you have to do to get that baby out safely.

xx

I felt exactly the same after my EMCS so thanks for posting this. My first labour was very much like yours but without the epidural (I asked for one but was too late). My daughter never came down and was found to be in the wrong position but I still feel like I didn't try hard enough to get her out. Your post has made me feel a little better knowing that it happens to others but I'm still undecided about whether to try for VBAC next time!

It was such a different experience this time so please don't let your past emcs put you off trying if you want to. Having said that if an elective is right for you then go for it as I've heard wonderful things about them.

It's great hearing from others who had similar experiences so thanks for sharing xx

I have had 2 emcs and am wtt feb, I a, terrified of another but am prepared, they haven't told me I have to and have to wait to get my maternity notes which will be when I am pregnant to see what happens. I am so glad though after recovering badly both times to have 2 beautiful children , I just hope and elective will be easier xx

I hope you get the birthing experience you want next time

((( hugs ))) Ann - I am so glad you got the vbac that you wanted and that you have managed to get perspective on H's birth. Xx

I've had two emcs and an petrified about having a vbac now as Noah was born so poorly that if he hadn't been born by emcs he wouldn't of made it. Olivia's heart rate was too fast and she was distressed and Noah's was too slow and thy thought they would lose him.

We won't be trying for another baby until these two are now at school but the thought of going through it again scares me (not enough to stop me doing it again) but its a worry all the same. Both times I've also had infections - the first time a burst infected scar and the second an internal infection with cellulitis and had to have iv abs and a wound drain. I also had spinal leakage. God I'm not very good at the whole birthing thing !!!

Laura I can't imagine how hard and scary Noah's birth must have been. Thank goodness for the c section. X

Hi Hun I have had 2 bad experiences too. My daughter wouldn't progress and was back to back and I was only 16 and had been in labour for 2 days, my son also would not be with us if I hadn't had a emcs as the cord was wrapped that tightly round his kneck he would have been decapitated. I had another emcs and then also had an infection and was taken back to theatre only to be opened back up as there was a clot lying behind my scar as they didn't put a drain in originally. I was fine obviously and now planning a 3rd section when we start trying in bed to which I have been reassured it is a much calmer experience. It's really hard I know to try and push your experience to the back of your head but trust me Hun they would be more prepared next time xx

It was so scary Ann - I honestly thought we would lose him. Xxx but I so want my body to do what it should naturally do so want to still try a vbac.

Thanks Stacey - I hope that your planned csec is a much more pleasant experience. Xx

I can understand that. Do they know why it went wrong last time?