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Old May 14th, 2012, 14:31 PM   31
kitkatwidget1
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nxt time you may not need a section or nicu, but if you do am sure you will do just fine, you strike me as a pretty strong lady!



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Old May 14th, 2012, 14:35 PM   32
Ozzieshunni
 
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I can only hope Not as strong as I come off. Took a lot to keep it together.



 
Old May 15th, 2012, 09:12 AM   33
chuck
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozzieshunni View Post
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I've gone through guilt, anger, outright rage, sadness, depression, grief and mourning over my EMCS.

its all normal hun, a healthy baby isnt all that matters, pregnancy and birth is such a massive ting people seem to underestimate how important the birth is.
I do have to respectfully disagree. To me, Alex's health was all that mattered as labor could have killed him and we would have never known. Just my thoughts.
Oh absolutely sometimes there are real reasons why CS are needed, but sadly all too often EMCS and CS are carried out because of policy and fear.

I salute the women who have had to undergo CS for real reasons that save lives, birth is risky enough without suffering the terror of knowing your baby is in distress or who might not survive labour.

Huge number of EMCS happen because of failed inductions...and why do they fail because most inductions aren't needed but people are too scared to go over a date they are given on guess work using data that is so old it should have gone out with hanging.

EMCS happen becasue women are scared witless about labour and birth for vanity sake about people seeing their foof or what their foof will be like afterwards or god forbid they poop! Women choose to labour in hospital where they are tense, bored and inhibited...labours go badly they need interventions or want them ... all of which adds up to women needed more EMCS and feeling like they tried so hard they used all of those interventions and still failed. When really its the system failing them.

Even the term 'failure to progress' disgusts me, I've examples in notes of 'poor maternal effort' Seriously WTF?!

In my case neither me nor my baby were in any danger when I was taken to theatre, policy said I had laboured too long and despite baby being fine and dandy off we went. I didn't give birth to DS1 he was taken from me. If I had real support in labour I might very well have managed to move around get from 9.5cm to 10cm and have a normal birth adn not suffer the humiliation and indecency of major surgery to do something as normal as having ababy.



 
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Old May 15th, 2012, 09:32 AM   34
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Totally Chuck. I think it's terrible that women are told they need a c-section and just go along with it because they are afraid to ask questions. It's so horrible



 
Old May 15th, 2012, 11:10 AM   35
lily24
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I was and still am happy with i was rushed for an EMCS as my son wouldnt be here and healthy today if i hadnt had it



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Old May 15th, 2012, 14:54 PM   36
chuck
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Dont get me wrong I cannot conceive of how difficult it must be to have a child who isn't healthy or who does not make it no matter what stage of pregnancy it was, it's something i have not gone though. My statements are never intended to make anyone feel bitter/sad/angry about their loss or trauma but to highlight the fact that trauma can take many forms and sadly pregnancy/labour and birth can be very traumatic especially when faced with what seems to be 'progress' and 'safety' really masking a multitude of issues that ultimately cause more trauma to women.

But I cannot stand people who say 'it doesn't matter what happened you have a healthy baby be happy with that, get over it'.

Give them depression PTSD and nightmares and see how they do.



 
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Old May 19th, 2012, 10:52 AM   37
Siuan
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Wow, I'd almost forgotten about this thread. Thank you for all the replies.

I still feel sad that I couldn't have a 'normal' delivery and I do feel like Francesca was born rather than I gave birth to her like someone said above. Even though I went through labour it was all artificial, the only bit my body did on it's own was get to 3cm dilated. The rest was completely artificial.

I still haven't heard anything from the senior midwife about a de-brief, I'll give it until I go to the GP for our first checkup and will mention it then because I still think it'll help get over it all.

I really strongly believe though despite my feelings of inadequacy that if I hadn't have had that c-section neither myself nor Francesca would be here now. She would almost certainly have died if it'd been left any longer for the induction because my placenta and cord were deteriorating when they got her out and I would never have managed to push her out myself since she wasn't moving downwards at all. Even only about 50 years ago we'd have both been dead.

I'm still strongly considering an elective next time...



 
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Old May 20th, 2012, 08:46 AM   38
lauralou25
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Yep I feel like this after my 2nd c section which was planned I do regret as I know I'm not having anymore children and even if I did I'd have to have section and I don't want one it also gets me down when people say oh you was 2 posh to push I'd never have a chance section etc and I'm 6months pp



 
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Old May 20th, 2012, 13:18 PM   39
confused87com
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my little boy had to be born at 29weeks, hence a section. I dont feel so bad anymore but i felt so cheated out of the birth i wanted. I completely understand why he had to come out and eternally grateful, things could have been so different...
anyhow, after ptsd and a lot of heartache i am now expecting baby 2.

Now, i dont know why i feel this, you would think as i wanted a natural birth with baby 1 i wouldnt consider an elective, however i really am.
im so scared its going to go wrong in this pregnancy and now so paranoid, but part of me knows the c section was ok and if planned it would be different...i had michael at 4.30pm and then didnt take me to see him til 10.30pm, only because i argues, my husband and i didnt even get to meet him together . i didnt hold him for 5 days....not because they couldnt get him out, but becasue they were busy. I feel that if i planned a section this time then it takes out all the elements of unknown, i could insist on having skin to skin, bf asap......i just dunno, maybe a recovery after natural birth would be easier with a toddler but then iv seen a lot of v v sore natural birth mums too! i was cycling again after 2 weeks last time..........................................bloomin c sections, i now have a million things to think of before this one!!



 
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Old May 20th, 2012, 16:22 PM   40
BoBo14
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I had emcs and don't dwell on it and how things could have been different. I agree that some sections are given too quickly. I was induced due to pre eclampsia, went through 27 hours of labour. Failed to progress past 5 cm and then decided to follow protocol and do a section. Thank god they did. After birth they realised he was being starved of oxygen and spent 3'days in nicu being stabilised. We spent 12'months after that having MRI scans, Physio appointments and eegs. wasn't what I planned but i thank god my son is alive and well. I hated having a section and want a vbac this time but if I had to choose to keep going so I could experience something for myself or do what's best for my baby I would put myself second in a heart beat. Just my opinion though



 
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